The Secret Pearl(37)

“I think not,” he said. “And doubtless Miss Hamilton is right. Mama must have decided that some other day will be better, Pamela. I will remind her.”

“You are horrid,” the child shrieked. “You are both horrid. Mama said I could. I am going to tell Mama.”

She jumped from the top of the fence to the outside of the paddock, gathered up her skirt, and raced around the corner of the stable block and out of sight.

“I’ll catch up to her,” Fleur said.

“Let her go,” he said. “She will come to no harm, and sometimes it is best to be alone when in the middle of a temper tantrum.”

The gate into the paddock was chained shut. Fleur must have entered it over the fence. He saw her flush as she glanced toward the gate. She arranged her skirt carefully as she set a foot on the lower rung of the fence and swung the other leg over. He kept his hands behind him. He knew she would not welcome his help.

But her skirt caught on the rough wood of the rung below and behind her, and she was stuck. He strode toward her, leaned over to release the fabric, took her by the waist, and lifted her to the ground.

He did not remember her sweet fragrance from that first time. But then, of course, she would have had only water with which to wash herself and her hair at that time. The sun made a shining burnished-gold halo of her hair now. And there was soft warm flesh at her small waist.

She shuddered convulsively and pulled blindly away from him. She made a guttural noise in her throat, similar to the one he remembered her making when he had penetrated her body. She lifted a trembling hand across her mouth and kept it there. She closed her eyes.

He could think of nothing to say and could not move.

She opened her eyes and removed the hand. She opened her mouth as if to speak, bit down on her lower lip, and turned her head aside. And she stooped hastily down to scoop up the puppy, which had come scampering through the bottom of the fence.

“I must take her back to her pen,” she said.

“Yes.”

He stood aside and watched her go, her golden head bent to the puppy, her walk hasty and self-conscious. And he felt a great weight of depression on his spirits.

But why? A governess—a whore turned governess—shuddered and almost vomited at his touch. There was a lady guest at the house—a baronet’s widow—who would welcome his touch and even his presence in her bed, a woman who found his disfigurement arousing and who would perhaps not even blanch if he came to her naked and she saw the other, far worse scars.

What was there to be depressed about? Perhaps he should encourage Lady Underwood. Perhaps she would be a balm to his wounded self-esteem. Perhaps he should make her his mistress for the duration of her stay, have his fill of a woman who wanted him.

Except that by doing so he would be accomplishing exactly what he had come home to prevent Sybil from doing, making of Willoughby a place of debauchery, making himself unworthy of the privilege of being the master of it all.

He was still standing against the fence when Fleur came out of the stables, her arms empty. She glanced his way, turned her head sharply, and hurried off in the direction of the house.

Well.

What the devil had he been thinking of to send her here? It was true that at the time he had not been planning to follow so soon after, but even so, he had known that sooner or later he would be returning to Willoughby. He could never stay away for more than a very few months at a time.

Why had he had her sent here? There were numerous other places he could have sent her. Or he could easily have found her a post with one of his acquaintances. In either case he need not have seen her ever again.

Why had he had Houghton send her here?

Of course, it was not too late, he supposed, to have her sent on somewhere else. Sybil would be delighted; Nanny would be triumphant; Pamela would not be heartbroken; Fleur herself would be relieved beyond measure.

And he?

He turned to walk away from the house toward a grove of trees and the artificial ruins of a tower, which his grandfather had been particularly pleased with. He would think about it some other time. He had been home for only three days. It was no time for hasty decisions.

He rather thought that she would in time prove good for Pamela.

Besides, she needed the pianoforte in the music room. He did not have an instrument to match it on any of his other properties.

The thought consoled him.

The gardeners would need to be reminded, he thought, that there was much deadwood to be cleared out from among these trees.





APART FROM A STROLL IN THE PARK THE DAY after their arrival, the guests did not exert themselves a great deal. All was in preparation for the grand outdoor ball that evening. It seemed certain that the event would take place out-of-doors. The long spell of warm, dry weather continued through the day.