Two days seemed very little time.
No, there was no time for embarrassment or awkwardness between them. There was only the rest of that evening and the next day.
They sat a long time over their dinner. And she discovered that he had been quite right. When she started talking about her childhood, she found that she remembered incidents and feelings she had not thought of for years.
“I suppose,” she said at last, “that I should be thankful for those eight years. Many children do not have even that long a time of love and security. I have been in the habit of thinking that I had a rather hard lot. It does me good to remember.”
“Fleur,” he said, his dark eyes smiling at her, “you have had a hard lot. But you are a strong person, a survivor. I hope that one day you will find a happiness you have never even dreamed possible.”
“I will settle for contentment,” she said. And she told him her plans.
“The children will be fortunate,” he said. “I know you are a good teacher and care for children, Fleur. And I would guess that Miss Booth is well-liked too. And what about the Reverened Daniel Booth?”
“What about him?” she asked warily.
“You were to marry him,” he said. “You loved him, didn’t you?”
“I thought I did,” she said. “He was kind to me at a time when I did not know much kindness. And he is a handsome man.”
“You don’t love him now?” he asked.
“I think he is too good for me,” she said. “He can see a clear distinction between right and wrong, and he will stick by what he believes to be right no matter what. I can see too many shades of gray. I would not make a good clergyman’s wife.”
“Has he asked you again?”
“Yes,” she said. “I said no.” She hesitated. “I told him everything. Except your name.”
“Yes,” he said, “you would tell him. And he did not repeat his offer?”
“I had already refused,” she said.
“He cannot love you, Fleur,” he said. “He is not worthy of you. If I were in his place, I would fight for the rest of a lifetime to get you to change your mind. And I would honor you the more for your courage and your honesty.”
She repositioned the spoon in her saucer. “A clergyman is not worthy of a whore?” she said. “Are we living in a topsy-turvy world?”
“Did he call you that?” he asked.
“Yes, he did use the word.” She took her hands away from the spoon and clasped them in her lap. “It is the simple truth, is it not?”
“It is a good thing he is thirty miles away,” he said. “My fists itch to rearrange the features on his face.” He slammed his napkin down onto the table and got to his feet. “I could kill him, the sanctimonious fool.”
“I should have added,” she said, “that he said the word more in horror and pain than in condemnation.”
He moved around the table and leaned over her, one hand braced on the table. “Fleur,” he said, “don’t ever let yourself be dragged down by that label. Promise me you won’t.”
“I have accepted the fact that I did the only thing it seemed possible to do at the time,” she said, looking up into his eyes. “It is in the past. Like your scars with you, it will always be with me and it will always affect my life. But I will not let it destroy me.”
“I would double my own scars and live with them,” he said, “if only I could remove yours from you, Fleur.” His eyes burned down into hers.
“Don’t.” She reached up one hand and cupped his scarred cheek with her hand. “Don’t, please. What happened was not your fault. None of it was. And I think that everything that happens in life happens for a purpose. We become stronger people if we are not destroyed by the troubles of life.”
“Fleur.” He held her hand against his cheek. “And is there a purpose to this too? To you and me and to the fact that we must never see each other again after tomorrow?”
She bit her lip.
He straightened up and released her hand. “I am going for a walk,” he said. “Come. I will see you to your room first. It has been a long and an eventful day. Tomorrow we will find what you have come to see, I promise you.”
She preceded him up the stairs and turned the key in the lock of her door. He was standing at quite a distance from her when she looked up.
“Good night, Fleur,” he said.
“Good night, your grace.”
“Adam,” he said. “Say it. I want to hear you say it.”
“Adam,” she whispered. “Good night, Adam.”