The Secret Healer(77)

Madlen released a flood of tears. Everything felt so wrong and unjust. She was angry and scared, at her wit’s end. She didn’t know whether to scream or curl up and hide away forever in a dark cave. She held onto her aunt and sobbed bitterly.

Madlen didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there before she let go of Agathe’s embrace. Agathe stroked her cheeks tenderly, wiping away her tears. “Better?”

Madlen nodded silently, although she didn’t really feel any better at all.

“Go to the room and wash your face. Then when you come back down, we’ll go to the market together to see what Emmerich has to offer. We can see whether the ladies here value a properly made dress.”

Madlen nodded. “Thank you.” She arose from the bench shakily and adjusted her skirt before walking over to the staircase that led to the top floor.

Agathe gazed at her niece with concern. Madlen had to pull herself together, or she wouldn’t remain anonymous for long. Her aunt fervently hoped that she’d have the necessary courage to keep on fighting.



About an hour later, the women strolled through Emmerich; it was a splendid and diverse city, something that Agathe hadn’t expected. The marketplace stalls were jammed together; there seemed to be an abundance of weavers and brewers. Ladies strolled around, showing off their expensive outfits; well-dressed men made their business deals. The hustle and bustle reminded Agathe of the buzzing and whirring of beehives in old Haubold, near the harbor of the same name. Agathe had always kept her distance to prevent herself from being stung by the bees. Her memory of Haubold and Worms made her smile. But she quickly shoved those thoughts aside in case loss and sadness took hold. She looked around again. They didn’t know much about this city near the border of the Netherlands, and the little she knew was from Ruppert, a merchant. From his descriptions, she’d imagined Emmerich to be much smaller and less colorful.

Now she and Madlen strolled around the market, continuing to inspect one stall after another. But her niece was hardly aware of anything. Agathe stopped suddenly. Madlen turned to her aunt. “What’s the matter?”

“Sweetheart, that’s enough.” Agathe looked at her sternly. “You have not spent one second thinking about anything other than your worries. You must stop now,” she hissed.

“But I . . .” Madlen couldn’t spit out another word.

“No. Enough is enough. If you’ve given up,” Agathe whispered as quietly as possible, “then we should just go back so you can turn yourself in.”

“Are you angry at me?”

“Yes, I am. You’re not the only one who left everything behind. I did, too. I don’t want everything we’ve done so far to be in vain.” She pulled her niece away from the stalls and all the people running around. “I’m going to tell you this once: I don’t know whether it’s safe here or not. But we had to go somewhere, and this is a good location for business. I willingly left everything behind to help you. But if you want only pity, then I’m the wrong person for this job, and you should return to Worms. I will stand faithfully by your side until your trial is done and you are executed. I promise. But you must decide here and now. Will you at least try to live, or do you want to give up? This indecisive back and forth, this yes and no, ends right now.”

Madlen was terrified as she looked into Agathe’s fiercely determined eyes. Her heart beat wildly. Wasn’t she right about this? She’d left everything behind to help her. She’d given up everything when she left her old life behind. And for what? For a desperate young woman sunk into the depths of self-pity.

“I’m so sorry,” she finally said softly.

“What do you say? I expect an answer from you with a loud, determined voice.”

“I’m sorry.” Madlen held up her head to give her voice more power. “I’ve only been thinking of how unfairly I’ve been treated. But that’s over now.” She lifted her chin proudly. “Please, help me. I want to live, here, with you and my child. Can I rely on you?”

The corner of Agathe’s mouth twitched. “Yes, you can.” She quickly leaned forward and gave her niece a kiss on the forehead. “I’m very proud of you, my little girl.”



Madlen didn’t allow any more gloomy thoughts to enter her mind. As soon as Johannes came into her mind, she just pushed him aside and focused on the tasks at hand. “There are so many cloth merchants here.”

“Cloth merchants, yes, but not very many dresses for sale,” Agathe noticed. “I’ll find out where Ruppert lives. He always buys dresses from me.”