Madlen nodded numbly.
“I know a fisherman. My husband and I often helped him back in the old days. Hugo owes me. I’ll go to him right away. He’ll take you down the Rhine.”
“And then?”
Agathe put her hands on her face and rubbed her eyes. A devastating headache pounded against her temples. “I really don’t know,” she said desperately. She dropped her hands back onto her lap. “But we have to keep our wits about us and be smart. Otherwise, your life and your child’s won’t be worth a pfennig.”
Madlen laid her hand on her stomach. “I’m so scared, Agathe. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t want to run away from Johannes, or from you.” She cried. “I’ve never tried to hurt anybody.” Her shoulders shook.
Agathe went over, stood next to her, and stroked her tenderly. “I know. But we can’t change it. Nobody will believe you.” She patted Madlen lightly on the back. “Believe me, I’m so very sad that you have to go. But there’s no other way. If we don’t prepare everything now and Matthias Trauenstein comes to town earlier than expected, it will be too late.”
Madlen nodded. “What should I do?”
“You can’t go back to the Goldmanns’ house; you have to leave Worms today.”
“You mean without seeing Johannes for the last time?” Madlen could barely breathe.
“You must. Go to your old room and gather everything that can help you. I’ll give you all the money that I have. You’ll need it to start a new life from scratch.”
“But where should I go?”
“Try traveling downriver to the north.” Agathe thought about it feverishly. “I know a merchant in Emmerich, who often buys clothes from me. The city is independent and part of the Hanseatic League. You could go to the merchant . . .” She looked down on the weeping Madlen. “Are you listening to me at all?”
Madlen sobbed so violently that she was hardly able to speak. “I’ll be running my whole life. I’ll never belong anywhere, and I’ll always be alone. And what will become of my child? I can’t do it, Agathe.”
“What are you saying?”
“I know that you mean well. But I’m not going to run again. What kind of a life would that be?” She looked at her aunt in despair. “No. I’m going to stay put. If they hang me, then they hang me. That will be the end of it.”
“Madlen, pull yourself together. Think about your child.”
“I don’t have the strength. I felt so safe here with you. You were like a mother to me.”
“Then let me protect you now, like a mother would.” Agathe sat down in the other chair and held Madlen’s hands in hers. They stayed this way for a moment, without speaking. Agathe looked at her pregnant niece. It was true. She loved her as if she were her own daughter. The more she thought about it, the clearer everything became. “What if I went with you?”
Madlen looked up. “What?”
“If I accompanied you, perhaps it would be even less suspicious. In the eyes of the people, you would be a woman who simply left her husband and disappeared from the city. There could be all kinds of reasons if you were accompanied by your foster mother. People would just assume that it was a dispute between man and wife.”
“Actually, that’s not even wrong.”
“And if I were you, I would leave quickly so that Johannes doesn’t have time to ask any questions.”
“And Roswitha?”
“She’ll be marrying Sander soon. I’ll ask Otilia if she can take Roswitha into her household until then. She would not refuse me this favor.”
Madlen liked the idea better the more she thought about it.
“And your work? You love making dresses. You said it yourself. You don’t have to give that up for me.”
“And I won’t. One can purchase fabric anywhere. It will be difficult to start anew, but I did it before, and I can do it again. And now there are two of us. You can help me with sewing, and I can help you with the new baby. We’ll be there for each other. Just like a real mother and daughter. What do you say?”
Madlen smiled brightly. “You’d do that for me?”
Agathe squeezed her hand. “Pack your things, but don’t bring too much. I will take care of the boat and speak to Otilia.”
“Thank you.” Madlen looked at her aunt tearfully.
“We can do this. You, me, and the little person growing inside you.” She smiled bravely.
“Only one more thing,” Madlen asked. “What about Johannes?”
Agathe shook her head slowly. “As much as it pains me to say this, you can’t see him again.”