The Secret Healer(65)
“I’m hungry,” the maid noted. “Is that a good or bad sign?”
Madlen shrugged. “I don’t know. It won’t hurt in any case. No matter what happens in the next few hours or days, you’ll need all the strength you can muster. So let’s eat.” She smiled. “I’m hungry, too.”
They waited for Agathe and all ate breakfast together. Roswitha had a hearty appetite, and everyone’s mood had lightened. After breakfast, they all went back to work. Roswitha cleaned up and stopped by the sewing room to speak to Madlen and Agathe.
“I have to pick up some things from the market,” she announced.
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Madlen retorted as she laid a dress on her lap. “You know the contractions could start at any time.”
Roswitha shrugged calmly. “I feel good. I don’t believe the herbs are working for me. And we need some things from the market.”
“Then I’ll come with you.”
“All right, if that’s what you want.”
Agathe nodded at both women. “I’d also prefer that you go together.”
Madlen got up and went over to the door where Roswitha stood. “We won’t be gone long.”
They both took their cloaks and were already in the hall when someone knocked loudly on the door. “I’ll get it.” Madlen was extremely surprised to see Sander. He took off his cap and bowed quickly. “Maria, how nice to see you,” he stammered. “I want, um, ah . . . is Roswitha here?”
“How dare you?” Madlen looked at him angrily.
“So you know?” He kneaded his hat with his hands. “Please, I need to see her.”
The door opened wider, and Roswitha stepped up next to Madlen. “What do you want, Sander?”
“I, well, can I speak to you?”
“What is there to speak about?”
He threw a look at Madlen. “Can we be alone? I have something to tell you.”
“Maria has my trust, and she knows what’s happening. I want her to stay here.”
“Well, all right, if that’s what you want.” He stepped from one leg to another. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said those things. I was a coward.” He looked Roswitha directly in the eyes. “I’ve thought it over. I was wrong. I wanted to ask if you would still marry me.”
Roswitha was speechless as she stood there, frozen in place.
“I can understand it if you decide to send me away, but I . . . I want this, I really do. I mean, especially now because of . . .”
Roswitha stared at him. Sander wanted to marry her. Everything was going to be all right. She could keep the baby. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over her. It wasn’t just excitement. This was something else. Her stomach began to cramp, a stabbing pain so fierce that it forced her to her knees. With a cry, she grabbed her stomach. Frightened, Madlen saw the blood creeping to the edge of Roswitha’s dress. The contractions had started.
Roswitha screamed in agony as Madlen and Agathe held her on the bed.
“Make it stop!” The maid cringed in pain.
“You have to be strong. The contractions will get weaker. Then you can rest until a new one begins. We’re here for you.”
Roswitha dug her fingers into the blankets and arched her back. “I can’t stand it. It’s tearing me to pieces. I’m going to die!”
“You won’t die.”
“But my baby . . . Please, save my baby. I don’t want to lose it.”
Madlen looked at Agathe anxiously.
“It’s too late for that,” Agathe said in a quiet tone that frightened even Madlen.
Roswitha gasped as the contraction faded. She sank back down onto the pillows, her strength almost gone. She cried then grabbed Madlen’s hand. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”
Madlen shook her head sadly. “No. There’s nothing we can do now.”
“This is my fault. All my fault. Sander will never forgive me.” She sobbed so violently that her whole body shook.
“If he really loves you, he’ll marry you despite this. And if it’s God’s will, he will send you many more children, and you will forget what happened here today.”
“But I’ve killed our child. When he finds out . . .”
“He will never find out!” Agathe hissed angrily. “Only the three of us know about this. You will say nothing, not to Sander or anybody else. Do you hear me?”
Roswitha nodded. Then she felt another cramp. The next contraction was under way. All of a sudden, Agathe grabbed her and pulled her up by her shoulders. “Swear to God and on your own life that you will never tell anyone what happened here. Swear it!”