He uncrossed his arms. “You’re right. You do mean more to me than any lap dancer, stripper, book-club member or any other woman out there, Jillian,” he said in a soft tone. “And you were wrong to think I missed my old life. What I miss is being with you. I think we handled things okay that first year, but during those second and third years, because of trying to make that dual residency program work and still keep you at the top of the list, things became difficult for me. Then in the third year, I was the one with focusing issues. It became harder and harder to keep our long-distance affair afloat and stay focused at work. And the secrecy only added more stress. But I knew if I complained to you about it, that it would only stress you out and make you lose focus on what you needed to do.
“You were young when we started our affair. Only twenty-one. And you hadn’t dated much. In all honesty, probably not at all, because I refuse to count that dude you dated in high school. So deep down I knew you weren’t quite ready for the type of relationship I wanted. But I loved you and I wanted you and I figured everything would work out. I knew how challenging medical school could be and I wanted to make your life as calm as possible. I didn’t want to be the one to add to your stress.”
He paused. “But it looks like I did anyway. I tried to make the best of it, but unfortunately sometimes when we talked, I was in one of my foul moods because of stress. I would get an attitude with you instead of talking to you about it. At no time should I have made you feel that you deserved my anger. I apologize. I regret doing that.”
“It’s okay,” Jillian said, pulling out a chair. “Come sit down and eat. Your food is getting cold.”
She watched him move away from the door. When he reached the table, she skirted back so he could sit down. When he sat, he reached out, grabbed her around the waist and brought her down to his lap.
“Aidan! What do you think you’re doing?”
He wrapped both arms around her so she wouldn’t go anywhere. “What I should have done last night. Brought you back here and put you in my lap, wrapped my arms around you and convinced you that I meant everything I said about your value to me. Instead I got upset and walked away.”
She pressed her forehead to his and whispered, “Sorry I made you upset with me last night.”
“I love you so much, Jillian, and when I think you don’t believe just how much I love you, how much you mean to me, I get frustrated and wonder just what else I have to do. I’m not a perfect man. I’m human. I’m going to make mistakes. We both are. But the one thing I won’t do is betray your love with another woman. Those days are over for me. You’re all the woman I’ll ever need.”
She leaned back from him to look in his eyes. “I believe you, Aidan. I won’t lie and say I’ll never get jealous, but I can say it’ll be because I’m questioning the woman’s motives, not yours.”
And she really meant that. When he hadn’t come down for breakfast she had gone into the Terelle Dining Room to eat alone. She ran into the book-club ladies and ended up eating breakfast with them and enjoying herself. Once Aidan had made it clear last night that he was not available, they had put a lid on their man-hunter instincts. Jillian and the six women had a lot in common, since they were all recent medical-school graduates, and they enjoyed sharing their experiences over breakfast. They invited her to join them for shopping at some point during their two days in Rome and she agreed to do that.
She shifted in Aidan’s lap to find a more comfortable position.
“I wouldn’t do that too many times if I were you,” he warned in a husky whisper.
A hot wave of desire washed over her. He was looking at her with those dark, penetrating eyes of eyes. The same ones that could arouse her as no man ever had...or would. “Why not?”