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The Secret Affair(65)

By:Brenda Jackson


                Jillian didn’t say anything for a long minute. “I guess I deserved that. But—”

                He held his hand to interrupt her. “Please. No buts, Jillian. I’m tired of them coming from you. Let me ask you something. How many men did you sleep with during the year we weren’t together since you think I didn’t leave a single woman standing?”

                She narrowed her gaze at him. “Not a single one.”

                He crossed his arms over his chest. “Why?”

                She lifted a chin. “Because I didn’t want to.”

                “Why didn’t you want to? You had broken things off with me and we weren’t together. Why didn’t you sleep with another man?”

                * * *

                Jillian knew she’d screwed up badly last night and she could hardly wait until morning to see Aidan so she could apologize. When he didn’t show up at eight as he’d promised, she would admit that for a quick second she’d thought he might have been mad enough to spend the night with someone else. But all it had taken to erase that thought was for her to remember how he’d looked last night when he told her the reason why he’d introduced her as his significant other.

                There’s no one more significant in my life than you.

                And she believed him. His reason for not sleeping with another woman during the year they’d been apart was the same reason she hadn’t slept with another man.

                “Jillian?”

                She met his gaze. He wanted an answer and she would give him one. The truth and nothing but the truth.

                “Sleeping with another man never crossed my mind, Aidan,” she said softly. “Because I still loved you. And no matter what I saw or imagined you did with that lap dancer, I still loved you. My body has your imprint all over it and the thought of another man touching it sickens me.”

                She paused and then added, “You’re wrong. I didn’t come here thinking I’d find another woman. I came to apologize. I figured the reason you didn’t come take me to breakfast was because you were still mad at me. And after last night I knew that I deserved your anger.”

                “Why do you think you deserve my anger?”

                “Because everything is my fault. You only kept our affair a secret because I asked you to, begged you to. Last night when I got to my room, I sat out on the balcony and thought about everything. I forced myself to see the situation through someone else’s eyes other than my own. And you know what I saw, Aidan?”

                “No, what did you see, Jillian?”

                She fought back tears. “I saw a man who loved me enough to take a lot of crap. I never thought about what all the secrecy would mean. And then the long distance and the sacrifices you made to come see me whenever you could. The money you spent for airplane fare, your time. I wasn’t the only one with the goal of becoming a doctor. It’s not like you didn’t have a life, trying to handle the pressure of your dual residency.”

                She paused. “And I can just imagine what your friends thought when all of a sudden you became a saint for no reason. You couldn’t tell them about me, so I can understand them wanting to help get your life back on track with those women. That was the Aidan they knew. And unfortunately that was the Aidan I wanted to think you missed being. That night I showed up at the party, I should have realized that you were just having the fun you deserved. Fun you’d denied yourself since your involvement with me. I should have loved you enough and trusted you enough to believe that no matter what, you wouldn’t betray me. That I meant more to you than any lap dancer with silicone boobs.”