Eleanor raised her hand to Søren’s face and touched his lips. The kiss had torn down whatever was left of the wall he’d tried to build up between them. From his lips she moved her hand to his cheek dusted with the slightest stubble, to his forehead, where she ran her thumb softly over the tips of his eyelashes. She lowered her hand and spoke two words—not a question but a command.
“Tell me.”
21
Eleanor
ELEANOR WAITED BUT SØREN DIDN’T SPEAK. NOT AT first. He stared out the window into the moonlight as if trying to find comfort in that white light.
“You asked me questions,” he finally said. “I’ll answer them now.”
“About goddamn time.”
“Eleanor.”
“Sorry.”
“We’ll start at the end of your questions. Those are easier,” he said.
“You remember all of them?”
He nodded. “All of them.”
She didn’t quite believe he had all her questions memorized. She didn’t even remember them all. Once again he proved himself when he raised his hand and with one finger drew a number twelve in the air.
“Number twelve. Am I in love with you? I already answered that question tonight. If you need to hear it again, then yes, I am in love with you, Little One, and have been since the day we met.”
“Since we met?”
“It would almost be accurate to say I loved you before we met. But that’s another story for another night.”
Eleanor took a few breaths.
“I thought …” She stopped and shrugged. “I fell in love with you the second I saw you. Glad I’m not the only one.”
“No. You’re certainly not the only one. Now question eleven—who am I? By the time I’m finished answering all these questions, you’ll know.”
He drew a ten in the air.
“When will I keep my end of the deal?” he said, reciting her question. “The deal that I’ll give you everything, including but not limited to sex, I assume.”
“Sex specifically, but I’ll take what you’ve got.”
“Not tonight,” he said. “I know it seems parochial to you, but I would prefer we wait as long as possible. There’s so much you still need to experience, so many decisions you need to make. I’ll try to make the waiting as easy as possible. But you’re not even out of high school yet. You should focus on graduating, getting into college. Once you’re on that path, we’ll talk about this again.”
Eleanor sighed heavily. Disappointment warred with the joy of finally getting her answers.
“Fair enough. I can’t say I want to wait. I’ve wanted to be with you from the beginning. But I’m not surprised, either. I know that it’s not easy—you’re a priest and I’m a—”
“Constant temptation.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It is. Also, there’s a very good reason for waiting. We’ll come to that with questions four and two. But now question nine, where you confess you’re a virgin and ask me if I’m, and I quote, ‘okay with that’?”
“Are you? I mean, I still am.”
“Yes, Little One. Your virginity is no impediment and if you’d been sexually active before we met it would also be no impediment. I feel possessive of you now, however.”
“I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”
“Are you certain of that?”
“Entirely,” she said. “And maybe Sam. She is seriously …”
“Eleanor.”
“Sorry. Continue.”
“Your eighth question—am I a virgin?”
“You said you were with someone when you were a teenager so I’m guessing no,” she said, not sure how she felt about that no. She wanted one of them to have some experience, but then again, being his first would have been something special.
“You would guess correctly. Many priests are. Most are not. We weren’t born priests, after all.”
“How old were you your first time? Or am I not allowed to ask extra questions?”
“I promise we’ll get to that. But now onto question seven. Why do I want you to obey me forever?” He paused and seemed to weigh his words. “Let me give you the simple answer. In your Esther story, the king tied Esther to the bed. Is that something you think you would enjoy?”
She hoped the dim light masked her blush.
“I think so. It seems really sexy being tied up during sex. Is that weird?”
“Not at all. Many people, men and women, enjoy giving up control during sexual encounters and putting their bodies and even their lives in the hands of their partners. It’s called sexual submission. Others, like me, enjoy the opposite. Taking total control of someone and dominating them.”