The Saint(58)
“No,” she whispered and met his eyes for one second. “I liked it.”
“I see,” he said and she thought she heard something strange his voice. Something like pain.
“Jealous?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She hadn’t expected that answer and her astonishment must have shown.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Søren said. “I wish I could give you everything you wanted. But even a good gift is a bad gift if given at the wrong time.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means one wouldn’t buy a new car for an eight-year-old.”
“Nice,” she said, and nodded. “Now I’m an eight-year-old. What’s the car? Sex with you? You’re saying I’m too young to drive your ride?”
“Age is only a number. Maturity—or a striking lack thereof—is your issue,” Søren added, seemingly oblivious to how much his words hurt her. “You’re not ready to have an adult relationship. No amount of wishing on either of our parts will make it so. And I care about you too much to take you anywhere you’re not yet ready to go.”
“Do you have any idea how condescending that sounds? I want you. You promised—”
“I will not fuck a teenage girl in my congregation, Eleanor.”
Eleanor gaped at him.
“Did you say fuck? You never swear.”
“I needed your attention. I’m pleased to see I have it now.”
“You were supposed to answer my questions tonight,” she finally said.
“Do you have your list?”
“Never leave home without it,” she said, and pulled the folded sheet of paper from her back pocket.
Søren tilted the list toward the light. As he read, she heard nothing but the sound of her own breathing.
“We need to work on your question-asking skills,” Søren finally said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re hamstringing yourself with some of the wording. Never ask a yes or no question when you can asked an open-ended one. Your question ‘why will your friend help me?’ is a good question—it will lead to a long answer. Your question ‘are you a virgin?’ can be answered with a simple yes or no. I’m assuming you want a more thorough answer than that.”
“What should I ask?”
“You could ask ‘when was the last time you had sex?’ which would reveal not only whether or not I’ve had it, but also when the last occasion of it took place. A far better question than that would be ‘what is your sexual history?’ A bit clinical, but it would do the trick.”
“I can rewrite my list.”
“Too late. It’s in my hands now. Did you water the stick today?”
“No. I was going to do it when I got home.”
“Look at your watch.”
She pulled back her sleeve. It was 12:07 a.m. She’d missed the last day of watering.
“Fuck,” she breathed, and buried her head in her arms.
“I didn’t want to do this, Eleanor. I never wanted to do this. Not like this anyway. But perhaps the Bible was right in this instance—spare the rod, spoil the child.”
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.
“You going to hit me?”
“Not tonight,” he said simply. “The night we made our little bargain, I told you there was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you. I meant it. Which is why you’ll have to forgive me doing this now.”
“Doing what?”
“Raro solus, nunquam duo, semper tres.” Søren sounded as if he were quoting something.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s an old Jesuit rule they beat into us. Figuratively, of course. It means ‘rarely alone, never two, always three.’ The Jesuits have rules against what they call particular friendships. In seminary we were to talk in groups of three or more. It’s considered dangerous to be alone with another person, even another priest.”
“Why? They thought you’d start having crazy gay sex the minute you were alone together?”
“Yes.”
“Did you?”
“No. Although I was propositioned more than once.”
“Color me surprised.”
“But still, I thought it a pointless rule. I understand it now. You and I have a particular friendship. And it has to end.”
“End?” Her voice broke on the word.
“I told you if you watered that stick every day for six months, I’d answer your questions. You failed in this task. You will not be rewarded. I told you that you had to obey me forever, and I would give you everything. You disobeyed me and went to your father and now you’re suffering the consequences. For the foreseeable future, Diane will monitor your community service. This particular friendship of ours will cease until that day comes that I’m certain you are mature enough to be in an adult relationship. And by adult I do not mean sexual. I mean a relationship between equal partners.”