The Saint(44)
“Is there a question in there somewhere, Eleanor?”
“Yes. What did Esther do?”
“I don’t follow.”
“To the king to get him to pick her, I mean,” Eleanor explained. “What did she do that the other girls didn’t do so she could be queen?”
“I assume she was better in bed than the rest of them.”
Eleanor gaped at Søren.
“What?” he asked.
“The reason she was the person chosen to save the Jewish people was because she was good in the sack?”
“The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
“The Lord works through sex?”
“All the time. Saints were babies once. They had to be conceived through sexual intercourse. There’s nothing un-biblical about that.”
“But Esther wasn’t married to the king. She was part of a harem. She had premarital sex. Catholics aren’t allowed to have premarital sex.”
“Esther wasn’t Catholic. Catholicism hadn’t been invented yet.”
She glowered at him.
“You know what I mean. It’s in the Bible.”
“Shocking, isn’t it?” He didn’t sound the least shocked, only amused.
“I’m speechless.”
“Then why are you still talking?”
“Because I found a biblical heroine who is a biblical heroine because she spread for a king. It’s seriously sexy but seems like a piss-poor way to choose a world leader. Or not. Maybe that’s how we got President Clinton.”
“In all fairness to Esther, she was a prisoner and didn’t have much choice in the matter—the sex or becoming queen.”
“She was amazing in bed and that helped her save her people.”
“I knew you’d like her.”
“I want to be her. I wonder if Xerxes was hot.”
“Perhaps he looked like Eddie Vedder.”
“Do you even know who that is?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so. I wonder what Esther did to impress the king so much in one night.”
Søren picked up his pen and tapped it on the desk.
“She was beautiful, according to the author of the book,” Søren said. “And clearly intelligent. The women of the harem were allowed to take anything they wanted with them for their night with the king. But Esther takes only what the harem guard Hegai says she should take. Smart of her to ask someone in the know what he would suggest.”
“Maybe she didn’t ask him because he knew the king. Maybe she asked him because he was a man.”
“That’s one possibility.” Søren flipped through his Bible.
“What would you have told Esther to do?”
“Pardon?” Søren arched an eyebrow at her.
“If this virgin girl came to you and said that she was going to spend a night with the king, what advice would you give her?”
“Interesting question. Priests aren’t often asked for sex advice. Then again, Hegai was a eunuch. I doubt they’re often asked for sex advice, either.”
“What’s a eunuch?”
“A castrated man.”
“Ow.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, a priest is better than a eunuch for advice, then. I’m guessing you still have all your original parts.”
“Warranty included,” he said.
Eleanor crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame.
“So what would you tell Esther to do?”
“I was hoping you’d forgotten that question.”
She heard a tense note in his voice.
“Oh, sorry,” she said. “We’re not supposed to be talking about S-E-X, are we?”
“We can talk about sex in a biblical context.”
“Does it embarrass you, talking about sex?”
“Embarrass wouldn’t be the word,” he said. “I’m disconcerted, perhaps.”
“Disconcerted?” she repeated. “Talking about sex disconcerts you.”
“No, talking about sex with you disconcerts me.”
“So you don’t like it?”
“I like it far too much. And I think you know that.”
Eleanor’s hands trembled slightly. The world around them had gone quiet, as if even the walls were listening in on their conversation.
“What advice would you have given Esther?” Eleanor asked again, refusing to back down. He never answered her important questions. She wouldn’t give up until he answered this one.
Søren leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. As he thought about her question, her mind started to wander. She could easily imagine herself as Esther. Girls in that day married young, Søren had said. She and Esther were probably about the same age. If she lived back then, would she have been one of the virgins brought in to audition for the role of queen? What would she have done in that situation? Esther asked the guard for advice, and according to the Bible Esther took only what Hegai told her to take. She took less than the other women. But what was it? What did he tell her to take? And what did she do when she was alone with the king?