“I’m sorry I don’t do more of that,” he said gruffly. “You deserve a guy who can tell you those things. I can try to be better, but I’m—”
“No,” she broke in, even as her voice shattered. She wasn’t trying to make him into someone different. He was perfect the way he was, and she’d finally opened her eyes to it. “You do something wonderful like bring me flowers, and I don’t even take them. I’m just as much to blame for our problems as you are. Probably more. You’d never have left if I had just told you every day what you meant to me.”
Kyle was never going to be like her dad, who left notes all over the house for her mother to find and surprised her with diamond earrings to mark the anniversary of their first date. She doubted Kyle even knew the anniversary of their first date.
The way Grace felt right now, none of that stuff mattered. She had a man who demonstrated his love for her in a hundred subtle ways if she’d just pay attention.
He tipped her chin up with a gentle forefinger and lightly laid his lips on hers. When he finally pulled back, he said, “But I’m not sorry I left. I gained so much from that. Foremost, the ability to come back to Royal and be a father. I was lost and being a SEAL is how I found myself. I might never have had the courage to enlist if things hadn’t shaken out like they did. I’d never have had Maggie and Maddie. There was a higher power at work, and I, for one, am very grateful.”
She nodded because her heart was spilling over into her throat, and she wasn’t sure her voice would actually work.
Her “standards” had been a shield she’d thrown up to keep other men away, when all along her heart had belonged to this man. And then she’d kept right on using her standards as an excuse to avoid facing her own failures.
There was so much more to say, so she forced herself to open her mouth and spill all her angst about the possibility of Kyle leaving again, which had also been an excuse. It was clear he was here for good—what more proof did she need? But that didn’t magically make her fears go away, much as being in love didn’t magically make everything work out okay.
He let her talk, holding her hand the whole time, and then he talked. They both talked until Clare came back into the room to check on Maddie, then they talked until Maddie woke up howling for a bottle. When she fell back into an exhausted sleep, they talked some more.
When dawn peeked through the window, they hadn’t slept and hadn’t stopped talking. Grace had learned more about the man she loved in those few hours than in the entire span of their relationship. Even though Kyle hadn’t said I love you again—which honestly, she could never hear often enough—and in spite of the fact that he would never be a chatterbox about his feelings, it was hands down the most romantic night of Grace’s life.
If only Maddie had miraculously gotten better, it would have been a perfect start to their second chance.
When Clare Connelly came into Maddie’s room shortly after dawn, Kyle had to stand up and stretch his leg. With an apologetic glance at Grace, he stood and paced around the hospital crib where his daughter lay.
He didn’t want to lose that precious contact with Grace, but she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere. That could change at a moment’s notice. He wished he could express how much it meant to him that she’d stayed last night. His inability to share such feelings was one of the many things that had kept them apart.
“Dr. Reese will be in shortly,” Clare told them. “Why don’t you go get some breakfast while I change Maddie. You need to get some air.”
Kyle nodded and grabbed Grace’s hand to drag her with him, because he wasn’t letting her out of his sight. Last night had been a turning point. They were in a good place. Almost. Grace deserved a guy who could spout poetry and be all the things she wanted. But she was stuck with him. If she wanted him. Nothing had been decided, and along with the concern about Maddie, everything weighed on him. He was exhausted and emotional and needed something in his life to be settled.
They grabbed a bite to eat and about a gallon of coffee. When they returned to Maddie’s hospital room, Liam and Hadley were waiting for them. Perfect.
“Any news?” Hadley asked anxiously. “I hardly slept. I was sure we’d get a text at any moment and have to rush back to the hospital.”
“Nothing yet. The doctor will be here soon. I guess we’ll know more then,” Kyle said.
As if Kyle had summoned him, Dr. Reese strode down the hall and nodded briefly. “I’m going to start some more tests. I’ll be out to give you the results in a bit.”