Her heart twisted anew. If he didn’t fit in at the ranch, why had he taken over the cattle side? During one of her site visits, he’d told her that was his job now—he hoped to create a stable home for his daughters. He planned to stick around this time. Was that all a lie? Or was he just doing it because she’d forced him into it, despite hating that life?
“I don’t understand,” she whispered. “If you liked being in the military so much, why did you come home?”
“My leg.” His expression caved in on itself, and it might have been the most vulnerable she’d ever seen him. She almost reached out to comfort him, was almost physically unable to prevent her heart from crying in sympathy at what he’d lost. He was hurting, and that was so hard for her to take.
But she didn’t reach out. “You came home because you were injured,” she recounted flatly.
That was the only reason. Not because he missed Grace and regretted splitting up. Not because he wanted his daughters, or the simple life on a ranch with his family. He’d been forced to.
And what would he do when he got tired of an ill-fitting career? What would happen when the allure of the great wide open called to him again?
He’d leave. Just as he’d done the first time, only he’d take his babies with him—there was no law that said he had to stay in Royal to retain custody. He’d go and crush her anew, once she’d fallen in love with three people instead of just one.
He hadn’t confronted her about Liam ten years ago because he hadn’t wanted to stay in the first place. Not for her, not for anything. If he had, he’d have fought for their love; she had no doubt.
Kyle could pretend all he wanted that he’d enlisted because he’d caught her with Liam, but that had been—by his own admission—the last straw. Not the first.
“Yeah.” He jerked his head in acknowledgment. “I was honorably discharged due to my busted leg. I didn’t have anyplace else to go. But when I saw Maddie and Maggie for the first time...and then you came back into my life... Well, things are different now. I want to do things different. Starting with you.”
“No.” Her heart nearly split in two as she shook her head. “We’ve already had one too many do-overs. You shot first and asked questions too late.”
She’d begun to trust him again, only to have the carpet ripped out from under her feet. She couldn’t do that again. She could be single and happy. It was a choice; she just had to make it.
“Don’t say that, Grace.” Kyle threw the bouquet on the wicker chair closest to the door and captured her hand, squeezing it tight so she couldn’t pull away. His green eyes beseeched her to reconsider, hollowing her out inside. “I lie awake at night and think about how great it would be if you were there. I think about what it’s going to be like for the girls growing up without a mom. It’s not a picture I like. We need someone to keep us sane.”
This was delivered with a lopsided smile that she ached to return. If only he’d mentioned the condition of his heart in that speech and how it was breaking to be away from her. How he couldn’t consider his life complete without her. Anything other than a string of sentences which sounded suspiciously like an invitation to make sure Maddie and Maggie had a mother figure.
And she wanted a family so badly she could picture easily falling into the role of Mama to those precious babies. At what cost, though?
“You have Hadley for that,” she said woodenly. “I’m unnecessary.”
“You’re not listening to what I’m saying.” He held her hand against his chest, and she wanted to uncurl her palm so she could feel his heartbeat. “Hadley is Liam’s wife. I want one of my own.”
It was the closest thing to a proposal she’d ever gotten. She was certifiably insane for not saying yes. Except he hadn’t actually asked her. As always, he couldn’t just come right out and say what he meant. That’s what had led to the Liam fiasco in the first place, and nothing had changed.
None of this was what she’d envisioned. Kyle was nothing like her father. What about her standards? Her grand romance and fairy-tale life? How in the world would their relationship ever stand the test of time with staged jealousy-inducing ploys and the inability to just talk to each other as their starting point?
“I can’t do this, Kyle. I can’t—” Her voice broke but she made herself finish. “I thought we were starting something and the moment things get a little rough, you bail. Just like before.”
“That’s an excuse, Grace.” He firmed his mouth, and then pointed out, “I’m here now, aren’t I?”