The Rocker That Needs Me(7)

“That’s wild!” I pulled my knees up against my chest and rested my chin on them. My hair fell in my face, and I pushed it back. “Is it all you hoped for? All you ever wanted?” Pain crossed his face. Drake grew quiet and I wondered if he was going to answer me when he finally shook his head. “No. It isn’t all I ever wanted. After the first year or so, I was already burned out. I want more from life than rock-and-roll. We all do now. Don’t get me wrong, Lana, I love making music. I love the thrill of playing for a crowd. But I hate the life that comes with it.”





Chapter 2


Drake

I wasn’t sure why I was so drawn to Lana. I tried to stay away. For about a minute, I succeeded, but I found that it physically hurt to stay away. I refused to give my feelings any name other than friendship. Being friends was safe. I could work with that. So what if just looking at her made me ache deep inside in a way I couldn’t ever remember aching before.

She drew me in and I went willingly. Lana, my sweet, beautiful angel, was easy to talk to. I found myself confiding in her about things no one else knew. I hadn’t even admitted hating the fast pace of the rock-and-roll world that I had gotten caught up in all those years ago to Emmie. With Lana it just came naturally.

I spent every evening with her. Talking about the stupidest things, getting to know a girl—fuck anyone—just for the hell of it. Some nights we would just sit and I would sketch the angel. Others we would lie on the beach and listen as the waves crashed against the beach. With each wave that hit the beach, I felt as if I was being washed in the sweetest peace. It was soothing to be with her. I was able to go without a whole bottle of Jack Daniels to help me fall asleep for an entire week. When I woke each morning I wasn’t drenched in sweat like I normally was. Of course I still had the nightmares. I doubted I would ever be free of them, but that week they didn’t haunt me like they normally did.

Friday, I took Lana to dinner. There was a great little Greek restaurant that I loved. I picked her up, refusing to think of it as a date. I had never taken a girl on a date in my life, and I wasn’t about to think of this time out with Lana as one. That just screamed wrong to me.

It was fun. I enjoyed every second of it and dreaded the time that I would have to take her home. After dinner I found a park, and we sat on the swings just talking like we always did. I had only known this girl a week, and yet she probably knew as much about me as Emmie did. Well, except for the parts that I refused to tell Lana. I didn’t want to put those images in her innocent mind.

And maybe I was scared that if my angel knew about my past she would be too disgusted to want to continue with our friendship.

I drove us back to Malibu in the Escalade. When I pulled into the driveway it was just after ten. Instead of getting out right away, Lana turned toward me and smiled that smile of hers, which I still hadn’t been able to get perfect on paper. There was something about that smile, the way it filled me with so much peace. There was a hint of mischief that sparkled in those whiskey eyes of hers that calmed my need for the bottle, at least for the most part.

“Thanks for tonight, Drake,” she said. “It was fun.”

“Would you like to go shopping with me tomorrow?” I didn’t know where the idea had come from. What the fuck did I know about shopping? I had a shit load of money and had barely touched a cent of it. Emmie took care of my bills and bought everything I needed. I guess I was a little helpless when it came to certain things, but I wanted to spoil Lana. Friends could do that, right?

“Shopping?” She raised a brow and grinned. “You want to take me shopping?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Bring Lucy. We can make a day of it.” I wanted to spend every minute possible with her. Maybe she was a new addiction―one that brought me more peace than the bottle did.

Somehow we ended up talking for nearly an hour, just sitting in the SUV, talking about something I doubted I would remember in the morning. I made her laugh and it was like bells ringing in my ears―the best music I had ever heard.

When I next looked at the clock on the dashboard it was a little after eleven. She was just as reluctant, if not more so, to end the night. I reached out and pushed her long, midnight black hair away from her beautiful face. My fingers burned where they touched her flawless skin. After only a small hesitation, I leaned in and brushed a soft kiss over her cheek. “Good night, Lana,” I murmured.

Pink filled her cheeks and she bit her lip. “G-goodnight Drake,” she whispered and slipped out of the Escalade. I waited until she was out of sight before getting out. I needed the time to calm my racing heart and aching body.