The Rocker That Needs Me(28)

I didn’t notice the other runner until he was almost over top of me. Shane stopped with his hands on his knees as he looked down at me. “Lana?”

I sighed. “Hey, Shane.”

He dropped down beside me without asking if I wanted company, which I didn’t. “Are you crying, Lana?”

“Looks like it,” I muttered, sitting up and dusting the sand off my back. I had some in my hair, but I didn’t care. Right now, I didn’t give a flying fuck about anything.

“Did you and Drake have another fight?” he asked, both amused and concerned.

I shook my head, my eyes focused on the waves as the surf hit the beach. “I haven’t seen your brother since Sunday.” I had been able to avoid him but knew that my luck was running out. When Jesse and Layla got home, everyone would know what I had done. There was no way Drake wouldn’t hunt me down then.

“Okay, you don’t want to talk about it.” Shane nodded. “I can understand that. Just know that if you need a shoulder, I have two strong ones to lean on.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

I had hoped that he would get up and continue with his run. Instead, he just sat there with me for the next hour. Neither of us spoke, not a sound uttered, but for some reason it eased some of the pain around my heart. Maybe it was because he was Drake’s brother. We both loved Drake, after all. Or maybe it was just because Shane was Shane.

“I love him,” I whispered, not sure why I was confessing my feelings.

“Yeah, I know.”

“But he doesn’t love me. Not the way I want.”

“I don’t know. Drake keeps a part of himself closed off, a part that not even I can reach, but I know that he does care about you, Lana.” He draped his arm across my shoulders. “Especially after Friday night… Sorry, I heard you guys when I came home…”

I blushed. “He doesn’t remember.”

“Yeah, I figured.” He grimaced. “I guess Saturday night was hard for you. I’m sorry, Lana. I shouldn’t have taken him out with me. Maybe…”

“No. It wasn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault. Drake didn’t really do anything wrong. I’m not his girlfriend. He’s free to screw anyone he wants.” That didn’t mean I had to stick around to witness it.

“I’m still sorry. This can’t be easy for you. Have you talked to him at all?”

I shrugged. “A text or two.”

We were quiet for a while longer. It was getting late, but I wasn’t sure I could sleep. Shane stood and offered me his hand. “Come on, sweetheart. You have school in the morning.”

We walked side by side back toward home. A mile from the house, I confessed what I had done. Shane stopped, his face a mixture of emotions that I couldn’t decipher in the moonlight. “Lana…”

I bit my lip. “I have to do this, Shane. I know it’s going to hurt him, but right now I have to do what is best for me. That must sound selfish, and I’m sorry.”

After a long pause he finally nodded. “Yeah, I understand.”

He walked with me to the patio and asked if I wanted to go for a run with him the next evening. I knew he was just being nice, but I really needed someone right then. My chin trembled and I nodded. Shane sighed and pulled me into his arms. “It’s going to be okay, Lana. Everything will work itself out.”

Our run Thursday night was almost relaxing, and it left me looking forward to Friday evening since he had asked me to run with him again. After the stress of the last week, the running helped me relax, and I ended up falling into a deep sleep for the first time Friday night.

Saturday wasn’t pretty. Layla was home earlier than I expected, and Jesse was already talking to Emmie about my college plans since she had left him a message that she needed to talk to him about it as soon as he got back. I wanted to be mad at her when Jesse stormed into the new house with rage in his eyes, but I couldn’t. She was just looking out for Jesse after all.

“Lana, why?” Layla demanded, tears in her eyes as she turned to confront me. “I don’t understand why you would do this.”

With Jesse shouting and Layla crying, I couldn’t handle the situation like I had wanted to. Unable to deal with it, I ran up to my new room. Of course Jesse followed me, wanting answers, and Layla joined the party, trying to diffuse the tension but wanting answers too. I could see that my sister suspected the truth; it was there in her eyes. She couldn’t possibly know all of it, but she could guess, and knowing her, she would guess right.

I wasn’t ready to face Drake when he stormed into my room. I wasn’t ready for any of it, actually. Confessing everything—that I loved him, that I had heard him having sex against the hotel room door—hadn’t been part of my plan, but I had to tell him. He deserved to know where I stood. That even though he had shattered my heart, I still loved him. Would always love him.