"Lucy pleases. I don't give a fuck about who is in your family. I know that you are not them, I can see that" Xanther pleaded.
Lucy couldn't hold the sob back that formed in her throat. Xanther stepped and pulled her into his chest. Lucy shook her head and pushed against his chest making him release her. His eyes were welling up with tears as he searched her face.
"Please Lucy don't do this" Xanther begged.
Lucy's tears were flowing ferociously down her cheeks. She wanted nothing more than to step back into Xanther's embrace. She wanted nothing more than take him to bed and hold him there, but the look of hatred on Logan's face pushed her away with invisible hands.
"I can't come between you and your band mates, your family and friends. My family has caused so much shit to come down on you." she said sadly.
"Fucking hell Lucy, you're not them. You aren't like them, nothing like them. Please don't do this" Xanther begged again desperately.
"Oh for fucks sake let her fucking go Xanther. You keep on with her and you're going to end up fucking buried next to your wife and kid" Logan spat.
Xanther's face turned red as he spun on his heel, his fist clenched within a second it collected Logan's cheek and knocked the man off his feet. Logan landed on the floor with a thud. He growled as he stood and tackled Xanther to the floor. He reached out and took Xanther's swinging arms and pinned them as he sat on his chest.
"Fucking stop it" Logan roared into Xanther's face.
"Get the fuck out of here whore" Logan roared again as he turned to Lucy.
Lucy shook startled as she ran for the door and leapt into her car. When she pulled into her driveway, Samson came to her, looking up into her face and cocking his head. Lucy shook her head.
"I can't do this Samson" she cried as she ran heading for the stairs that lead her down to the private beach.
Lucy heard Samson bark as she continued down the stairway. She flopped onto the log and brought her knees up to her chest sobbing big heaving sobs into her dress. She had fought so hard to get away from her family's reputation. She didn't want to be a Russo, hell even her mother had changed her maiden name to prevent from being associated with them. Yet somehow it was found out and the one thing she had that put a little bit of sunshine back in her darkness was ripped out from underneath her. Lucy angrily swiped at the tears that flooded her face as she stared out into the night sky, the stars flinting in the sky, and the sea breeze that whipped around her body. Lucy could feel the chill in the air but she didn't care, she was numb.
"Why did it have to be you Hudson? Why not me?" Lucy cried into the night air.
Slowly she stood and walked towards the water's edge as she wondered what it would be like to just walk into the water and take her life. She questioned if Hudson would be waiting for her. Lucy slipped her shoes off her feet and dipped her toes into the water, which was surprisingly warm. Slowly she began to step into the water feeling it work its way up around her body as it began to pull on her dress, begging to take her into its depths. Lucy wiped the tears with the back of her hand as she continued deeper into the water. She felt arms slip around her waist just as the water hit her breasts. Lucy felt the hard chest against her back and she turned to see Xanther, tears streaming down his face as he pulled her into his chest.
"Don't leave me too" Xanther croaked into her ear.
Lucy slipped her arms around his waist as he bent and kissed her mouth hungrily. They stood in the ocean with the waves lapping at the sand and the stars shining above them. She looked up at Xanther whose face was creased with worry and upset.
"I didn't know about Nick. It's not some conspiracy against you. I didn't know who you even were" Lucy said quietly.
Xanther looked down at her and nodded his head, kissing her cheeks and the fresh tears that brewed.
"Lucy I love you." Xanther said before kissing her.
Lucy looked into his eyes.
"I love you too" she said "but I'm starting to get really cold"
Lucy's bottom jaw started to shiver as the cold air and cool water began to seep into her body and she suddenly realised how cold she was. Xanther frowned and nodded his head taking her hand in his. He led them back to her house, where Samson was pacing up and down waiting for her. When he saw them approaching he came running towards her. Lucy reached out and touched his head.
"I'm sorry Samson, did I scare you?" she said quietly.
Samson wagged the back end of his body as she went into the house, stripping her dress and walking naked into the bathroom. Xanther followed silently behind her as she ran a bath and then they both climbed in warming what the cold ocean had taken from them.
Chapter Twenty
They lay in the bath silent, each at either end. Gently Xanther took one of Lucy's feet and began to massage it with his soap lathered hands. She closed her eyes and laid her head back on the edge of the bath. Slowly he took her other foot and massaged that also. She opened her eyes and looked at him.
"What are you going to do about Logan? He is never going to accept me" Lucy asked.
Xanther nodded and looked away.
"Fuck him" he spat.
"He cares about you" Lucy said quietly hating to see Xanther angry at someone who had cared about him.
Xanther shook his head and Lucy could see the anger in his eyes.
"No he doesn't" he said sadly "he was too busy fucking Georgie, to care about me, the only reason he came to check on me was because he had some big guilt issue going on"
Lucy sucked in a breath as she sat up and frowned.
"Did he tell you?" Lucy asked. "That he was fucking Georgie?"
Xanther shook his head and ran his hand up through his hair.
"When I was in the hospital he thought I couldn't hear him. He told me then, fucker, couldn't even tell me when I could do something about it" he said with a growl.
Lucy shook her head and reached out for Xanther's hand.
"Have you ever asked him about it?" she asked.
Xanther shook his head.
"No, I never bothered." he said as he looked at her "Lucy I'm not sure that Aiden was even mine. I had always wondered if he was Logan's"
Lucy lowered her eyes and shook her head.
"Oh my god Xanther, that's a horrible thing to have happen to you" she said quietly.
Xanther shrugged his shoulder as he stood up out of the bath.
"Well not much can happen about it now" Xanther said with another shrug.
Lucy looked up at him with a frown. She couldn't have imagined how she would have reacted to Hudson if he had been unfaithful to her, but to have the possibility that a child who a person was lead to believe was theirs, not be, Lucy wasn't sure she could have ever coped with it. She could see that Xanther wasn't in the mood to talk more about it, so she silently got out of the bath and dried herself and wrapped herself in a towel. When she went into the bedroom, Xanther was sitting naked on the edge of the bath with a photo in his hands. As Lucy looked down at the picture she saw that it was Xanther, a beautiful woman with black hair and then a little boy with a bright smile, but not a single ounce of resemblance to Xanther. Lucy reached out and touched his shoulder gently.
"I'm sorry I mentioned anything Xanther" Lucy said quietly.
He looked up at her with tears glistening in his eyes and shook his head slowly.
"It's alright. I guess its part of the healing" Xanther said as he struggled a smile.
Lucy frowned again; he had far more healing to be done than she knew how to heal. She was a bruised woman, but he was broken in two. Lucy wasn't sure that she could be the person he needed. She didn't know if she would be enough, she suddenly wasn't sure that this was going to last all that long. She wanted him, but suddenly there as he looked longingly down at the picture of his dead wife and child, she wasn't sure if she was enough for him.
"Xanther? Are you sure you want this?" Lucy asked pointing between her and him.
He looked at her and nodded slightly before shrugging.
"Lucy I want you, I love you. I don't know that I'm good enough for you" he said sadly.
Lucy frowned and shook her head.
"You are good enough for me, but I'm not sure I can soothe the pain that you carry in your heart" she said with tears beginning to bristle at her eyes.
Xanther looked down at the photo again and nodded his head.
"Lucy the day that the police turned up on my door to tell me that Georgie was dead, I feel shit, but I just didn't care, in fact I was kind of relieved" he said with a shake of his head "I didn't have to worry about her doing drugs anymore, I didn't have to worry about her hurting Aiden anymore"