With benefits? Lukas had wanted to demand. But he'd managed to hold his tongue. "Friends?" he'd snarled.
"Yes. We go out together. Do things. Concerts. Ball games. I'm trying to get a life." She gave a vague wave of her hand. Then, at his scowl, she went on, "I'm in a hurry, Lukas. He's going to be here any minute. But-" and here, damned if she hadn't given him a bright cheery smile "-it was great to see you and catch up. Thanks again for signing the boat over to St. Bren's."
Then she'd waggled her fingers and disappeared inside her building as if she fully intended to never see him again!
We'll see about that, he thought as he thwacked the paintbrush hard against the wall.
CHAPTER SIX
"I WON'T HAVE IT!" Holly burst through the door to his office, red-faced and furious.
Lukas swallowed his astonishment-and the leap of his heart-at the sight of her. "You won't have what?" he asked mildly.
It had been a week since he'd seen her. A week in which he'd managed to knock out three walls, paint an apartment, read the best twenty-five grant applications, interview half a dozen gallery assistant applicants, show up at the first session of work on the Promise out at the boatyard and dream about Holly every night-sometimes twice.
He had picked up the phone fifty times at least, to call her "just to talk." And every time he'd put it down again because, God knew, he and Holly had never "just talked." But it would have been a place to start.
Now, apparently, he didn't have to. He looked past her toward the open door wondering how she'd got past Sera. Not that he was objecting.
As he did so, Sera appeared in the doorway. "I'm sorry! I was on the phone and she...she just...zipped past."
Lukas shrugged, still enjoying the heightened color in her cheeks. "She does things like that." He gave Sera a commiserating smile. "It's all right. I'll handle her."
"You won't 'handle' me!" Holly slapped her hands on his desk and glared at him. "You can't handle me, Lukas Antonides! I'm not Matt. You're not going to ignore me!"
Sera paused in the doorway. "Are you sure, Lukas?"
Lukas, never taking his eyes off Holly, nodded. "It's fine," he told Sera. "I've never ignored you, Holly." Couldn't. Not even when I wanted to.
Holly snorted. But at least Sera believed him. With one last worried glance, she backed out of the room. Lukas waited until the door had closed with an audible click, then nodded toward one of two leather armchairs not far from his desk. "Would you like to sit down? Can I get you a cup of coffee?"
"No, I wouldn't like to sit down! And I don't want coffee. I'm not staying. This is not a social call!"
"I gathered that," he said drily. "So what's the problem?"
She hugged her arms across her breasts. "I won't let you do to the kids what you did to Matt!"
Lukas sobered instantly. "What are you talking about?"
"You went to the boatyard yesterday."
"So?" That was a bad thing? He'd rung up Father Morrison on Monday and asked when they were meeting. He'd been intrigued by the idea of working with them-and tempted by the thought that Holly might be there. She hadn't been. But he'd still found the kids' eagerness compelling, and they'd been thrilled to learn about his connection to the boat.
"Why?" she demanded.
"Why not?"
"Because you're raising expectations!" Holly's voice began to rise again, too. "They'll expect you to come every week!"
Lukas tilted his head. "So?"
"So it won't work. You'll go a few times. Make them count on you-and then you'll drop them."
"No. I-"
"It's what you do, Lukas," she insisted, cutting him off. "It's what you always did. You always started something, then didn't finish it."
"The hell I-"
"You did," she insisted. "Remember the go-kart you and Matt were going to build?"
She'd had to go back a long way for that one, Lukas thought. He'd been eleven.
"And what about when you were going to learn to scuba dive?"
"I did learn," Lukas protested. "Just not then." The three of them had signed up for scuba lessons one summer in high school. But then his dad had asked him to go to Santorini to help out his grandfather for the summer. How could he turn down his grandfather?
"And then there was the sailboat. One minute you were full of plans, fixing it up, sailing around the world, and the next you're off to Greece for something better to do!"
"We both know why I had something better to do, Holly."
She stepped back as if he'd slapped her. She took a breath and let it out slowly before saying in a voice that wasn't quite steady, "So this is...my fault?"
Lukas shoved himself up out of the chair. "Of course it's not your fault! It's my fault! I told you that! But you know why I went." One of the reasons, at least.
She hesitated, then gave him a tight little nod. "So, am I supposed to thank you for leaving?"
"You could," Lukas said drily, "but I don't expect it."
Holly grunted and paced around his office. If she were a cat, Lukas thought, she'd be twitching her tail in fury. It reminded him of all the times she'd railed at him when they were kids. He'd been fascinated by her. She was so intense. So loyal. No one had more spirit than Holly. No one championed the underdog the way she did.
She had reached the end of the room and turned back to face him again. He could see her working to get herself under control. "Look," she said at last, "it's simple. I told you lots of these kids have had a rough time. They've been let down more than once. They need to be able to count on people."
"Got that," Lukas said.
"Which means if you act like you're going to be there, you have to be there."
"I'll be there."
"You might intend to be there-you might have intended to stick around and work on the boat, I don't know-but things happen!" Her face suddenly grew bright red again. No doubt they were both remembering exactly what "thing" had happened that night. "You run a damn empire now, Lukas! How do you know you won't have to dash across the world to do something important?"
"Because I run a damn empire, and I decide what's important." He met her gaze implacably with one as fierce as her own. "And if I say I'm going to be there, I will."
Their eyes dueled. Holly didn't give an inch, but Lukas wasn't backing down. It was obviously more important than he realized that he follow through with the kids. And admittedly, he hadn't given it a lot of thought when he went in the first place. Now he could see her point. He wasn't totally self-absorbed. He had grown up.
Still she stared into his eyes. He stared right back. Finally, Holly broke eye contact. She pressed her lips together and looked away across the rooftops of SoHo.
Outside, Lukas heard a siren. In Sera's office the phone rang. She'd better deal with it herself. He wasn't picking it up if she put it through.
"I'm not going anywhere," Lukas repeated. "I get it, Holly. I understand. And I can make time. I will make time." He raked fingers through his hair, then dropped his hands to his sides. He paused, once more letting his gaze lock with hers. "Cross my heart and hope to die, Hol'. I swear I will be there."
He did exactly that-crossed his heart-like a twelve-year-old. But he didn't know how else to get it through to her other than to use the words they had always used as children in moments of deepest commitment.
"You didn't cross your heart about the boat," Holly said faintly.
Lukas shook his head. "No."
He saw a flickering of something-a softening perhaps-in her gaze as she took a shaky breath. "Well, then, as long as you understand how important it is..." She hesitated, then shrugged. "I guess we're good." A bare hint of a smile tipped one corner of her mouth.
Lukas would have preferred a blinding smile, would have liked her to throw herself into his arms. Fat chance. But it felt like a watershed moment, and now he was the one who needed more convincing. He caught her hand, holding her where she was. "Are we good, Hol'?" His voice was rough.
She blinked. "What?" She shook her head. "I... Yes, of course."
He should have let go of her then. It was all the reassurance he was going to get. But he wanted more. What he wanted from Holly was only partly tangled up with what had happened with Matt. Just as much it was about what Lukas had always-though unadmittedly-felt for her.