The Return of Antonides: Christmas at the Castello(16)

"How's my pretty girl?" He nuzzled her cheek and made her laugh. "Let's  see that robot," he said to the older boys, and she could see that his  eyes were alight with boyish enthusiasm.

Holly found herself oddly charmed as, still carrying the kids, he  crossed the room to where a slender, dark-haired woman with a pixie-ish  haircut was taking a sheet of cookies out of the oven. "Hey, Tallie."

Elias's wife was an adult version of the little girl in Lukas's arms.  She set down the cookie sheet and threw her arms around him and her  daughter. "Lukas! Where've you been? You'll stay for dinner, won't you?"

Lukas gave Holly a "what did I tell you?" look over Tallie's shoulder.  "Thanks, no," he said. "We just came to get a key for the boatyard. This  is Holly," he introduced her casually. "My sister-in-law, Tallie."

And as Elias's wife looked her over, Holly had the odd feeling that she  was being sized up. Her narrow-eyed assessment was nothing like Elias's  welcome. It felt almost suspicious, certainly measuring.

Instinctively, Holly straightened and stared straight back at her.

Her action made Tallie laugh suddenly and, still beaming, she swept  across the room to envelop Holly in a warm hug. "Glad to meet you at  last."

At last?

But before she could ask what that meant, Tallie stepped back and  looked her up and down again. "Yes, you look like you can handle him."  Then Tallie had turned her gaze on Lukas. "It's about time you brought  her around." Her eyes swung back to Holly. "He's never brought anyone  around before."

"Not-?" Holly began, confused.

But Tallie smiled at Lukas. "Helena says you're serious at last. About  time. And she is beautiful, that's for sure. But why did I think her  name was Grace?"

* * *

"I am not serious about Grace! It's my damn family," Lukas said as soon  as he had hustled her out of Elias and Tallie's house. "They meddle.  They don't know when to shut up." He flicked on the ignition, put the  truck in gear and shot away from the curb as if he couldn't leave fast  enough.

Holly, who had watched Lukas's face turn bright red when Tallie had  mentioned Grace, only said, "Oh." She wasn't surprised that Lukas wasn't  serious about Grace, whoever she was. Lukas had never been serious  about anyone.

"You hit thirty and they think you ought to be married," Lukas  muttered, the color still high along his cheekbones. He flexed his  fingers on the steering wheel. Holly saw his jaw bunch and his brows  draw down. "My mother likes Grace," he went on. "Thinks she'd make a  perfect daughter-in-law."

"Maybe she would."

"Probably she will," Lukas agreed. "But she's not marrying me. I'm not marrying her!"                       
       
           



       

"No surprise there." Holly's tone was dry.

At her words, Lukas slanted her a glance. "What's that mean?"

"Just what I said." Holly shrugged. "I mean, how many girls did I watch  you date? How many more must you have gone through since?"

Lukas grunted. "That was then." He seemed to be grinding his teeth.

Holly didn't see what difference it made. As far as she was concerned,  whoever Grace was, she'd caught a lucky break. "Doesn't matter, does  it?" she said. "Not to me, anyway."

She expected him to drop it, but he went on. "My mother is starry-eyed.  And she likes a good story. The guy I worked with in Australia, the one  whose foundation I'm working on here-Grace is his long-lost love's  granddaughter. We've gone out a few times and now Ma thinks it would be  'poetic' if I married her. It's not going to happen."

"I believe you."

But he wasn't listening. "Ma wants more grandchildren." His eyes were  on the heavy traffic heading out toward Long Island. He sounded  aggrieved.

"Of course she does," Holly said equably. "Why shouldn't she?" Her own  mother doted on Holly's brother Greg's two kids. She had been sad when  Holly and Matt hadn't had kids. Holly had been sad, too. "You seem to  like children," she added.

"It's no reason to get married!" Lukas strangled the steering wheel. "And I'm not marrying to please my mother."

Holly thought it unlikely that Lukas would do anything to please anyone but himself. "I'm sure you won't," she said mildly.

Lukas's jaw bunched. He stared straight ahead. "You like kids?"

Where had that come from? Holly nodded. "Yes."

"You don't have any." He sent a quick glance her way. His words were  more question than statement. Holly wanted to say it was none of his  business. But before she could, Lukas grimaced. "Sorry. None of my  affair."

"We wanted kids. Lots of kids. Not at first. After Matt finished his  PhD. But we didn't have any. Two years went by and I didn't get  pregnant, so we went for tests. Everything seemed okay. The doc said we  were 'trying too hard.' He said, 'Relax. You can't plan everything. Some  things happen when you least expect them.'"

She glanced at Lukas. He didn't say anything, didn't even glance her  way. But she was sure he was listening even though she wondered why she  was telling him any of this. It was something she hadn't told anyone at  all, not even her mother.

"He was right. Matt died-definitely unexpected." Holly's fingers  knotted in her lap. She could hear the blood rushing through her veins,  could hear the quickened beat of her heart. "And I miscarried the next  week."

His gaze was on her then, searching her expression.

She looked away. "I was a month along. I...I didn't even know I was pregnant until...until I lost the baby."

There was a moment's silence. He didn't say a word. Then he reached over and wrapped his hand around hers.

It was the last thing she expected-warm physical comfort from Lukas  Antonides. For once, Holly didn't pull her hand out from his grasp.

"I didn't have any idea," Lukas said at last, his fingers still  wrapping hers. "I'm sorry." He hesitated. "No one said. After Matt died,  I talked to my mom now and then. She said you were coping. She never  said anything about..." His words dried up. His thumb rubbed the back of  her hand.

Holly wetted her lips. "She didn't know. No one did."

"No one? Why not?"

"It was...too much." She sighed and tried to explain. "Everyone was  already devastated by Matt's death. If I'd said...about the baby... They  all knew how much we wanted a family. If they found that I'd lost the  baby, too..." She just shook her head. "I couldn't tell them. I couldn't  bear any more sympathy."

She knew it sounded strange. Ungrateful.

But Lukas just nodded. "I get it."

She raised her gaze to look at him, surprised. But Lukas's tone was  quiet and calm and his fingers continued to squeeze hers in silent  commiseration.

Oddly, it felt as if he really did understand. She supposed he might.  Lukas had known her-and Matt-for a very long time. And while he might  not know them the way their parents had, in some respects he knew them  better.

Maybe, too, she had had enough space and time between herself and both  excruciating events to actually speak of them and not have the emotions  destroy her.                       
       
           



       

After Matt's death, friends and acquaintances had sympathized  fervently, and often awkwardly, unsure what to say to "make things  better."

Nothing could. But Holly didn't say that because that would have been  rude. Instead, she was the one who ended up comforting them. She  couldn't do more of the same after her miscarriage. She didn't have the  strength.

Now she didn't need to have strength. Lukas gave it to her. He kept her hand wrapped in his, holding on firmly.

She was holding hands with Lukas Antonides. Who'd a thunk it? Holly  thought with a wry inward smile. He had rough hands, workman's hands,  calloused and competent, quite different from her husband's hands. But  even though Holly knew from the article that Lukas's work now was  largely behind a desk, he still clearly spent a lot of his time doing  physical labor.

"Are you doing all the work on the building yourself?"

He slanted her a quick glance, and seemed to sense that she didn't want  to talk any more about Matt or their unborn child. He nodded. Then his  gaze grew self-conscious as it dropped to their linked fingers. "You'd  think so, wouldn't you?" he said wryly. "But I'm only doing the grunt  work. Painting, hauling, whatever the professionals don't do. My cousin  Alex is an architect. He did the design for the renovation. And I've got  a contractor now. He hires the workers we need. I do the rest."