Stronger than the monster.
Chapter 19
#160 Get To Her – Get Home No Matter What.
Kayden
It’s the day after Thanksgiving and I’m sitting on the sofa, watching some television with Dylan and Liz, and texting Callie on and off during the commercials. It’s been both a rough but decent day as we all struggle through our feelings about my dad being in a coma while trying to enjoy each other’s company. I don’t think any of us knows what to do with the information about my father, so we’ve all just sort of been quiet, afraid to be the first one to speak, to say what we’re all thinking – that we might not be as upset as we should be. I could see it in Dylan’s eyes the more we talked and in Tyler’s eyes, too, which were less hazy than the last time I saw them. We didn’t get to visit him for too long, but it was nice to see him when he was not high and out of his mind. He kind of reminded me of the Tyler I knew who taught me how to ride a bike, not the one that took off and left to become a drug addict.
‘I’m going to go make some popcorn,’ Liz announces during a commercial, getting up from the couch. ‘Kayden, do you need anything?’
I shake my head. ‘No, I’m good.’ I take out my phone and text Callie again. She hasn’t responded to my last two texts and I’m starting to wonder what’s up. It’s making me uneasy, but that feeling could also be stemming from the fact I’m under a lot of emotional stress and haven’t picked up a razor yet.
Kayden: Hey, it’s me again. R u okay? I’m starting to get worried.
I hold my phone for a while, waiting for a text to come through, but instead it starts to ring. Callie’s name flashes across the screen and a smile touches my lips as I get up and go back to the guestroom where I’ve been spending my nights.
‘I’m glad you called,’ I say, shutting the door behind me. I don’t bother turning the lamp on, since the sun’s still up enough to light up the room. ‘I was starting to get a little worried.’
‘I know you were,’ she replies remorsefully. ‘Sorry. I should have called sooner.’ There’s an edge to her voice and I know right away that something’s not right.
‘Something is wrong’ – I shove some of my dirty clothes out of the way then lie down on the bed – ‘isn’t there?’
She lets out a shaky breath. ‘Kind of. I mean, everything’s okay now.’
My body goes rigid. ‘But it wasn’t a while ago?’
‘No, not really.’
I hesitate, unsure if I should ask because of the reluctant tone she has. ‘Do you …? Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Not really,’ she sighs. ‘But I probably should.’ Another sigh. Then another. It’s driving me mad knowing something happened, but not knowing what. ‘I ran into Caleb today.’ Her voice is barely a whisper.
I bolt upright from the bed, completely taken off guard. ‘What? Where?’ My hands ball into fists and I have to stab my nails into my palms to keep myself from losing it. I need to calm down. Need to de-stress somehow because I’m feeling that pull again, toward my razor … my flesh … the pain … the blood … the relief. I squeeze my eyes shut. ‘Please, tell me you’re okay.’
‘I’m fine, Kayden. I promise. I just ran into him at the store while I was texting you. It’s why I stopped.’ Her pause seems to last forever. ‘I’m okay, though. I totally stood up to him and even shoved him when he tried to grab me.’
‘He tried to grab you?’ I’m so angry I have to pry my nails away from my palms and grab onto a nearby throw pillow to grip the shit out of it. ‘In a fucking store?’
‘Yes, but it’s okay,’ Callie says quickly. ‘I got to stand up to him like I’ve always wanted to do. And Jackson called the cops and they arrested him. God, I can’t believe he’s behind bars.’ She sounds happy about it, but I’m not, still stuck on the part where he put his freaking hands on her.
‘I want to beat the shit out of him right now,’ I admit, chucking the pillow at the wall, ‘for touching you.’
‘But you don’t need to this time,’ she says proudly. ‘I took care of him myself. I stood up to him and Jackson called the police and he was arrested for the drug charges pressed against him last year, so he might end up in jail. And I know it’s in no way enough for what he did to me, but it still feels like I’m getting a little bit of resolution.’
‘Callie …’ I struggle with what to say, with what to do, with how to calm myself down, and not have another slip up.