The Resolution of Callie & Kayden(4)

‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’ I move back as he reaches around me and opens the door for me to go inside. ‘It’s just really hard putting myself out there like that because, what if he does give me a flat-out no?’

Seth follows me inside then lets the door go, shutting out the cold. The air smells like fresh coffee and cinnamon and the sounds of clicking keyboards flutter around us since many students come here with their laptops for the free Wi-Fi.

‘I don’t think he will,’ Seth says as we get in line.

I stare at the menu above the countertop, trying to figure out what to order. ‘I’m not so sure …’ I step forward with the line. ‘He’s been really sad and kind of distant lately.’

‘Then ask him why. Callie, come on. I know this is your first relationship, but you guys are close enough that there shouldn’t be space between you.’ When I start to open my mouth to protest, he adds, ‘Hey, you have to listen to me. I’m now officially a psych major and know what I’m talking about.’

I choke on a laugh. ‘I hate to break it to you, but just because you’re majoring in psychology doesn’t mean you know everything. The classes don’t teach you everything.’

‘I know that.’ He puts two fingers to his temple. ‘It’s this bad boy right here that makes me so damn insightful.’

I shake my head, but smile. Regardless of Seth being a know it all right now, he is right – I do need to talk to Kayden.

‘All right, I’ll do it.’

‘You better. And besides, living in an apartment is way, way better than living in the dorms. And you can be super noisy whenever you want.’ He waggles his eyebrows at me.

Despite my blush, I decide to play along. ‘Oh, I know. That’s the main reason I want to move in with Kayden – so I can have some alone time without worrying about roommates walking in on us.’

He gives me the biggest grin ever. ‘Look at my baby girl; all grown up.’

I stand up straighter. ‘Now if I could just get the balls to ask Kayden.’

Seth’s face turns red as he works to stifle his laughter, but it gets the best of him and he hurries and places his hand over his mouth. ‘I cannot believe you just said balls.’

‘You know what?’ I say as we reach the register. ‘I can believe it. I’m not the same girl I used to be.’

He lowers his hand from his mouth and the humor dissolves from his expression. ‘You’re so right. You have changed. You’re so much stronger now.’

Even though it’s our turn to order, we give each other a hug. ‘We’ve both come so far,’ I tell him because Seth has had his own struggles as well and yet here we are – happy, healthy, and enjoying life. Survivors, that’s what we are. I just wish Kayden could see that about himself. Realize just how far he’s come.

Maybe Seth’s right. Maybe it’s time to grab that little space between Kayden and me. After all, I have faced worse than asking my boyfriend to move in with me.

Way, way worse.





Chapter 2


#107 Have a Winter Wonderland Magical Moment.



Kayden


I’ve been in a downer of a mood lately. It’s nowhere near the same as it used to be when I’d get so down I’d lock myself in the bathroom and cut out the pain by slicing my own skin open and letting myself bleed. I won’t go back to that place no matter what happens to me. I refuse to live in that dark hole ever again. I want things to remain light. I just wish I could fully grab onto it like Callie grabs life, but there’s some things – fears – holding me back. An abundance of things bothering me when I really start to analyze it. Like the fact that Thanksgiving is in less than a month, making it almost a year since my father stabbed me then bailed with my mother before he could pay the consequences. It was the year when my already crumbling life fell apart. The year when I just about gave up and ended it all.

But I didn’t. I survived and I should be grateful – which I am – but it still bothers me that my father and mother are who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what, maybe without a care in the world.

Then there’s the fact that my oldest brother, Dylan, invited me to his house for Thanksgiving to a family dinner. I’m not sure what to do with that one, how to react to the word family. I can’t even picture the concept of sitting around the table with my brother and his wife and all of her family, laughing and chatting while we stuff our stomachs with food. Dylan said he would have invited Tyler, too, but neither of us has seen him in quite a while, and we worry that he’s addicted to drugs, living on the streets somewhere like he’s done in the past. Or worse, maybe he’s not alive at all.