The queen continued to regard her with her deep summer-green eyes. She had intense eyes that felt as if they were staring right into your heart. Eyes that had seen too much. "It may ask this much of you as well."
"I've told Ven . . . Champion Ven, that is . . . I've said no."
Queen Daleina blinked. "No?"
"I don't want to be heir. I don't want this power."
"She said no," the queen repeated, to Ven.
"I'm aware of that," Ven said, "but she has agreed to be trained, and I believe she will change her mind about becoming heir, once she understands how much she is needed." The champion and his queen were looking at each other with expressions so fierce that Naelin was certain there was another layer of silent conversation that her ears couldn't hear. She had the same sense she did when Renet lied to her.
"A bad queen can be as dangerous as no queen," Queen Daleina said. "You know that."
"She's what we need," Ven said, firmly, calmly, and the words sunk into Naelin like a stone into a pond. Oh no, she thought. The incident at the academy hadn't convinced him she was unsuitable. In fact, the opposite seemed to be true.
"I'm not," Naelin tried. She glanced at Alet, who nodded encouragingly. She remembered what Alet had said once, when they were out in the forest, that it was difficult to say no to the queen. But I have to. "I'm a woodswoman, a mother, not a potential heir. I don't want this. Never wanted this." She took a deep breath. "Your Majesty, please . . . I want a quiet life, a peaceful life."
The queen rolled her eyes up and studied the ceiling. In a mild, too mild voice, she asked, "Champion Ven, did you force this woman to come here?"
"No!" He hesitated. "Persuaded, perhaps."
Little hands balling into fists, Llor shouted, "He promised Mama you'd keep us safe! She said she'd train if the queen keeps us safe! They made a deal!"
Naelin nudged him. "Shh." And Erian whispered, "Say ‘Your Majesty'!"
Shrinking back behind Naelin, Llor added in a mumble, "Your Majesty."
"I see." The queen drummed her fingers on the armrest of her throne. Naelin noticed that her nails had been nibbled down to the nubs. Still a child, Naelin thought. It wasn't right. "Let me see if I am understanding this correctly: you agreed to be trained, if I would keep your children safe, but you did not agree to become an heir."
Naelin bowed again. "And now I don't even wish to be trained. I wish to be free. Please, Your Majesty, can you use your power to tell the spirits to forget me? Make it so they never noticed my power?"
Drummed her fingers more.
Naelin felt Erian's and Llor's hand dampen in hers as she sweated. This was it. "We'll find a quiet home far from anyone." Naelin was trying not to beg. "I won't ever use my power again. All I need is for you to command them to ignore me, until they forget about me."
"It is not possible to command the spirits to forget," the queen said. "And at best, a command to leave you alone would only work as long as I am alive. After my death, the spirits would come for you and rend you limb from limb, along with those you seek to protect. If you are as powerful as Ven says and if you refuse to use your power, they will treat you like a queen who lost her throne-they'll hunt you and destroy you."
Erian whimpered and clung closer. Llor began to cry.
"You're young and strong," Naelin said. "You'll outlive me. You can keep my children safe, even after I'm gone."
"You cannot be certain of that," the queen said.
"Queen Fara did not live a long life," Ven added.
The queen bowed her head.
"Please, Your Majesty." Naelin couldn't seem to make her voice louder than a whisper. Her throat felt tight. "I'm too dangerous."
"Untrained, she summoned the earth kraken," Ven told the queen, "and then banished it."
The queen's fingers halted. She held them motionless above the arm of the throne. Studying Naelin, Erian, and Llor, she didn't speak. Naelin tried to read her expression, but Queen Daleina may as well have been carved out of wood.
"It damaged the academy walls," Naelin said. "People could have been killed, because of me."
"Because you were untrained. Trained . . ." Ven turned back to the queen. "Trained, she could protect the palace, when you can't. She could train here, be here for when she's needed."
The queen's eyes shifted to bore into Ven's eyes. Silence weighed heavily on the throne room. Llor fidgeted beside Naelin, but she kept a tight grip on his hand.
The queen spoke. "If she doesn't want to be queen . . ."