The Reluctant Queen (The Queens of Renthia #2)(52)
Naelin opened her mouth to defend herself, to say it wasn't that simple, but the headmistress swept away before she could speak. Feeling like a chastised child, Naelin followed the headmistress and Ven out of the dining hall, all eyes still on her. Glancing back, she saw Alet leaving as well-on her way to the palace. She wished her friend could stay.
As soon as Naelin crossed the threshold out of the dining hall, she heard the students burst into chatter again, most likely about her, and she tried to tune it out, telling herself that she didn't care what a bunch of children who'd never lived in the real world thought of her.
She did wish Ven hadn't seen her publicly scolded.
You shouldn't care about that, she told herself. You have other things to worry about.
Following them down the spiral stairs, Naelin studied the headmistress-the stiff hold of her neck, the smooth sweep of her jaw, the press of her thin lips. "Headmistress Hanna, I can't-I won't-be an heir. There are others far more suited-"
The headmistress cut her off. "We shall see."
Reaching the practice ring, Naelin felt her feet sink into the mossy ground. It was bare of trees, and yet the circle of dirt and moss held fallen leaves and pine needles, as if there were once a forest here. She'd heard about the famous academy ring that changed for its lessons, from a forest to a desert to a lake, depending on what the masters required. She'd never thought she would be here. "What would you have me do?" Naelin asked.
"Summon a spirit," the headmistress said crisply.
"But I've never-"
"You can sense them," Ven said encouragingly. "It's not so different."
"Form a thought, and send it out," the headmistress said. "I recommend a simple command: Come." Her expression softened. "Do not be afraid. I will be here, and so will Champion Ven."
"Go ahead," Ven urged. "It's safe here. The academy is filled with masters whose primary role is to disperse spirits that students call."
"But I don't-"
"You have power; you must be trained," Headmistress Hanna said sharply. "You are a danger to yourself and others if you aren't. This is true whether you become an heir or not."
I've survived this long without any training, she thought. She'd been fine and her family safe until Ven had showed up. Until now-until Renet's idiocy-she'd never even been tempted to use her power. "I don't want my power."
"And I don't want a knee that aches in the rain," the headmistress said crisply. "It's a part of you, and you must learn to cope. Refusing is a child's act. It is hiding under the covers and hoping the monsters don't notice the lump in the bed. Summon a spirit, Mistress Naelin."
Naelin drew in a breath. "My mother was killed by spirits, for summoning them." She hadn't said the words aloud in a very long time, not since she'd shared it with Renet late one night before they'd married. She didn't like to drag the memory out into the light of day.
"Then you must not repeat her mistake," the headmistress said. "But her mistake was not in using her power; it was in using her power poorly. Training will give you greater control and greater safety." The words felt like slaps.
"It didn't help the heirs," Naelin said quietly. "I know the story of the Coronation Massacre." She saw Ven flinch, but she wasn't going to back down. She wasn't a child to be cowed by a stern frown-or at least that's what she told herself. "You aren't doing this for my own good or my safety. You want to use me, and I don't want to be used." She swallowed hard. It wasn't easy to say words like this to a legend. Clasping her hands behind her back, she hoped they couldn't tell that she was shaking. She was aware she wore borrowed clothes, pressed on her by the academy's caretakers, and that her children slept safe in cots above, feeling protected for the first time in days. She was, in many ways, at their mercy. "I am not ungrateful for the attention . . ."
"You see your power as a disease?" the headmistress asked. "Then think of me as the doctor performing a test to assess how sick you are. Cooperate with your healer, and we can work together for a cure. If your power is minimal, then we will find a way to distract the spirits from you. You can proceed with your life as planned, and the queen will never hear of you."
Yes! That was exactly what she wanted. Dare she hope? "Truthfully? You promise that? I summon a spirit, and then you'll help me be free of all this?"
"If you are not powerful enough, that would be best for all," the headmistress said. "If Champion Ven is wrong about you, then we will all help you with what you wish."