“I would. Do not tempt fate, sir. Lord or not, I will not tolerate this kind of self-belittling behavior from you or anyone. Please trust me, and tell me when you read and write, how do the letters appear?”
“Twisted. I know the words are not correct and I have been told this over and over… but…” he sighed. “That is the way I see the words.”
She scooted her chair close. “A few years back I was a governess for a boy who suffered a similar impairment. He was very bright, but when we did lessons, his eyes and ears saw and heard things… differently. Letters and words were jumbled.” She took out a clean sheet of paper and laid it between them. “Write this sentence: We spell words exactly as they sound.”
John took the quill and concentrated. He wrote: We spell wrds xatle az tha snd.
“Your brain told you what to write but processed it differently than the rest of us. The boy I worked with had a pattern. It was certain words and certain letters. He would write…” she took the paper, wrote, and then pointed to the sentence.
Wespellwordsexactlyastheysound.
She continued, “He bunched his words together. Did you have a governess or tutor who worked with you? Did they try and straighten this problem?”
“I had a governess for about a year, but then she told my father there was no hope and he let her go.”
“How old were you?”
He shrugged. “Six or possibly seven. Then I spent the rest of time at boarding schools. It was hell. I always struggled with reading. Math was usually not an issue, but with lectures or books… I was dreadful.”
“Maybe you didn’t have the right governess or teachers. You have a special learning issue that needs time to overcome. I will start the boy’s lessons earlier in the day and then come here. If you will allow it, we can work together on your invoices, billings, or whatever you wish. I believe with diligent work, I can possibly help you read and write the letters you are troubled with.”
“I can’t expect you to do this.”
Vivienne took his hand. It felt warm and solid in hers. “I can be your eyes and your ears. You have been most gracious to Charlie and me, and this is a way to repay your kindness. No one will be the wiser, I promise. I will not say a word to the house staff, the boys, or anyone else for that matter. Your secret is safe with me.”
“I can’t do this,” John said barely above a whisper.
“My opinion differs, because I know you’re capable. You just need a little assistance. If I read the invoices, do you understand what needs to be done?”
“Of course.”
“Then I will fill in the forms.”
“Are you an angel sent to watch over me?” The shadow of John’s beard and dark hair gave him an intensely masculine quality.
She swallowed. “No, I am merely the hired governess.”
“I feel you have become much more to Graeme and me then merely a governess.” As he watched her, a shiver ran up her spine. “Everything seems to holds less importance, because right now, Vivienne, all I want in the world is to kiss you.”
It was the first time he’d said her name. When she began to contradict his statement, he pressed a finger to her lips and then replaced it with his mouth. He leaned forward in his chair to pull her close. Her breasts pressed against the hard planes of his chest. Vivienne knew it was wrong, but her heart sang from his caress. Gentle. Loving.
As his mouth caressed hers, he opened a world of sensation from just his lips. His hands remained at the nip of her waist. She wanted his large hands on her breasts, toying with her aching nipples. Sanity left her, as she sighed on the brink of complete surrender.
Vivienne reached to touch his hair. It was soft and much longer than her husband’s. Guilt swamped her. This was the first time she’d thought of Lucas in days. It wasn’t Lucas’s fault that he was gone, but she had to believe what she told Graeme, it wasn’t her fault he’d died either. She wished Lucas was still alive, but he wasn’t. John was.
John’s kiss was so sweet it made her desperately want him. Her body ached for the feel of a man pressed again to hers. Vivienne put a hand against his chest to rest on the thin linen of his shirt and he inhaled from the intimate contact. Beneath her fingers was the steady, fast beat of his heart. John’s hand cupped the covered curve of her breast, and her breath rushed over his ear as he kissed a trail down her throat to where her own pulse strummed.
Suddenly he broke away. Their breaths mingled, and he said roughly, “Not here, not now. I cannot be with you here as I wish.”