The Regimental Heroes Anthology(22)
Clarke cut him off, “At first, I had the same feeling you carry. That was before I truly thought it through.” He looked up to meet his gaze. “I still wake up screaming most nights. Half the nightmares are filled with being run through or shot, the other half are filled with my desperate search for my brother.”
“You have nightmares about me?”
“You are my only brother, aren’t you?” He gave a weak smile. “Unfortunately, what really happened that day was not a dream. I am sure my mind feeds on what I saw. You took the blow to your leg, but I couldn’t get through the mayhem to reach you. I was with David. By the time I did, you were unconscious with your life’s blood pooled around you. I thought you were dead.”
“You never told me this.”
“I also never shared that to save your life I bound your leg with my ripped shirt and carried you half a mile on my back… covered in Adeline’s brother’s blood. The least I expect is that you do something with life and don’t waste it wallowing in self-pity.”
“I don’t.”
Clarke closed his eyes. “These are my memories, not yours. I do not know if you suffer the same as I. What I am telling you is if you plan to bring someone you love into your life, you owe it to her to come to her whole in body and soul. Spencer convinced me, we can’t do this on our own. Tuesday. Spencer’s ‘card club’ will have its first meeting. I think you should be there.” Clarke rose and brushed off his pants. “I must not keep father waiting.” He left the room and shut the door without letting him reply.
Scrubbing one palm over his face, Ellis blinked and stared at the closed door. His brother saved his life? He didn’t remember that. And, when had he told Spencer he loved Callie? He’d forgotten than too. Did he still love her? How could his heart survive rejection twice in one lifetime by the same woman? God… what a mess.
Chapter Three
Ellis wished he slept, but there were a million things racing through his mind. When the sun rose, so did he. He bathed, shaved, ate some dry toast—it was all his stomach could handle, and then fretted for another hour on what he should say to Callie.
How could he apologize after making such a grave error in judgment? He had to start by talking to her. Ellis grabbed a kitchen knife, cut a bouquet of lilies from the garden and had the stable boy bring around a horse. The flowers would be a peace offering. Lilies? They were yellow— her favorite color. She liked tulips best, but they were out of season. Hopefully she would like the lilies.
He had them bring ‘round a chaise and he drove to her family’s estate. Handing off the reins he moved to the house and then rapped his knuckles on the front door.
****
“Lord Garrison is here to see you,” Chadwick the head of the staff announced.
Callie was more than a little surprised when Ellis stepped through the door holding the largest bouquet of flowers she had ever seen. He maneuvered his cane to brace his leg and strode to where she sat.
“I am sorry to arrive without a proper invitation, but I had to see how your ankle was.” There were dark circles under his eyes. Was it from lack of sleep? She had tossed and turned too thinking of their shared kiss.
He handed her the flowers.
“Thank you.” She accepted them and then handed them off to staff to arrange in a vase. “My ankle was fine last night. You knew that when I left.”
“No, I did not. You still seemed to be in a slight bit of pain. I…I also came,” he dropped his voice, “to apologize.”
She waved the staff from the room. When the door closed, she turned. “You’re coming to apologize for kissing me?”
“I should be sorry for that… but I’m not. I still have feelings for you. I am sorry for frightening you and for acting out of line. I’m apologizing for whatever you need me to apologize for to gain forgiveness.” He stepped forward, took her hand, and looked into her eyes.
She stopped listening after the first part of the sentence. “You still have feelings for me?”
“Yes. I have never stopped. But everything has changed. I am no longer the boy who courted you and I have no right to return to the feeling I once carried.”
She swallowed as his hand solidly clenched hers. “I have no say in this matter?”
“No… I mean yes.” Ellis pulled in a deep breath. “I spoke to your father and asked if I could escort you on a picnic in the country. He agreed to let you come unescorted which was a bit of a surprise.”