enough to tell me everything, but I sat there,
nailed to the bench, incapable of doing anything
except listening and watching. And suffering. The
hypocritical liar! Even Juul knows very well who
Signe Alsaker is. I was the one who told him
about her. He can hardly be blamed. He thinks
Daniel Gudeson is dead, but she, she swore
fidelity unto death. Yes, I’ll say it again:
betrayal! And the Crown Prince has not uttered a
word. At Akershus Fortress they are shooting men
who risked their lives for Norway. The echoes of
the shots hang in the air over the city for a
second, then they are gone and everything is
quieter than before. As if nothing had happened.
Last week I was told that my case was
dismissed; my heroic acts outweighed the crimes
I had committed. I laughed until the tears flowed
as I read the letter. So they think the execution of
four defenceless farmers in Gudbrandsdalen is a
heroic act, one which outweighs my criminal
defence of the home country in Leningrad! I
threw a chair at the wall and the landlady came
up and I had to apologise. It’s enough to drive
you insane.
At night I dream of Helena. Only of Helena. I
have to try to forget. And the Crown Prince did
not say one word. It’s unbearable. I think . . .
97
Oslo. 17 May 2000.
HARRY CHECKED HIS WATCH AGAIN. HE FLICKED
THROUGH a few more sheets until his eyes fell on a
familiar name.
Schrøder’s. 23 September 1948.
. . . a business with good prospects. But today
what I had long feared happened.
I was reading the newspaper when I noticed
someone standing at my table observing me. I
looked up and the blood in my veins froze to ice!
He was somewhat run-down, I could see. His
clothes were quite worn. He no longer had the
erect, rigid bearing I remember. Something about
him had gone. But I immediately recognised our
old section leader, the man with the cyclops eye.
‘Gudbrand Johansen,’ said Edvard Mosken.
‘You’re supposed to have died. In Hamburg,
rumour has it.’
I didn’t know what to say or do. I only knew that
the man who sat down in front of me could have
me sentenced for treason, or even murder.
My mouth was completely dry when I was
finally able to talk. I said yes, I certainly was
alive, and to gain time I told him I had ended up
in the military hospital in Vienna with head
injuries and a bad foot. What had happened to
him? He said he had been repatriated and ended
up in the hospital in Sinsen, funnily enough the
same one I would have been sent to. Like most of
the others he had been given a three-year
sentence, and had been let out after serving two
and a half.
We talked a bit about this and that, and after a
while I began to relax. I ordered him a beer and
talked about the building-supplies business I ran.
I told him my opinion: it was best for people like
us to start up something on our own since most
companies refused to employ ex-Eastern Front
men (especially the companies who had co-
operated with the Germans during the war).
‘What about you?’ he asked.
I had explained that joining the ‘right side’ had
not helped me much. I had still worn a German
uniform.
Mosken sat there the whole time with this half-
smile playing on his lips, and in the end he could
not hold it back any longer. He told me he had
been trying to trace me for a long time, but all
the tracks ended in Hamburg. He had almost
given up when one day he spotted the name
Sindre Fauke in a newspaper article about
Resistance men. That had re-kindled his interest;
he had found out where Fauke worked and rang.
Someone had tipped him off that I was probably
at Schrøder’s.
I tensed up and thought, here it comes. But what
he said was utterly different from what I had
imagined.
‘I never thanked you properly for stopping
Hallgrim Dale from shooting me that time. You
saved my life, Johansen.’
I played this down with a shrug and an open-
mouthed stare. It was the best I could do.
Mosken said I had shown myself to be a man of
morals when I saved his life because I’d had
good reason to wish him dead. If Sindre Fauke’s
body had been found, Mosken could have
testified that I was probably the murderer. I
simply nodded. Then he looked at me and asked if
I was frightened of him. I realised that I had
nothing to lose by telling him the whole story
exactly as it had happened.
Mosken listened, focused his cyclops eye on me
a couple of times to check if I was lying, and
occasionally shook his head, but he knew well
enough that most was true.
When I had finished, I ordered two more beers
and he told me about himself. His wife had found
another man to look after her and the boy while