"No." He flatted his palm, fingers spread, over her abdomen under the covers. "It will be better next time."
"Better?"
He laughed and lowered his head, sweeping his lips across hers. Not a kiss, but a reminder that they'd knocked down a wall between them and there was no rebuilding it. Then he whispered, "Wait till you see what it feels like when I'm buried deep inside you."
He rolled her onto her side, so she faced the wall of windows, a hand squeezing her hip. She'd forgotten about the calm moonlight cascading through the glass. The quiet moment before he stepped into the room was millions of leagues away. Yes, she'd thought of him many times. Too many to count if truth be told. But imagination was entirely different from reality.
"Sleep," he commanded, as if he could hear her thoughts spinning. "I want you to rest."
He pressed his chest to her back, banding an arm at her waist, and pulled her tight, molding his body to the back of hers. Kissing her on the temple, he lay his head on her pillow. His hard manhood pressed against the small of her back. She wondered how on earth he could sleep while still aroused.
"Shut your beautiful brain off and go to sleep, Sienna."
She smiled into the dark. She loved his endearments for her. But her name sounded most divine of all on his lips. With a sigh, she snuggled deeper into his arms and fell asleep. As he commanded.
Chapter Thirteen
Standing at the picture window overlooking the gardens and the rolling hills beyond, his hands clasped at his back, Nikolai watched the snow, anxious that it would be too cold for Sienna to travel. The world was a gray pall, reflecting his mood. After last night, his resolve to get her on a ship as soon as possible had settled like a rock in his stomach. They hadn't resolved the matter of whether they were fleeing directly to Cutters Cove or finishing the mission they'd started. But Nikolai's instincts told him to quit now and take her as far away as he could.
Who was he kidding? His entire being-body and soul-urged him to abscond with his beauty and hide her away from the rest of the world so there was only him and her. An irrational impulse, he knew. But since last night when he'd finally admitted to himself that she had burrowed herself deep inside of him and that he was no longer open to the idea of letting her go, he'd been devising plans for their future. Laughable now that he thought of it. The loner who never took a woman longer than a week, lest she fall unfortunately in love with him, was now contemplating the idea of forever.
Of course, forever would be until the end of her natural life. She was mortal, he was not. He could have Marius make her vampire … but only if she chose. Hell, he could have Friedrich do it right here before they left Winter Hill. He had the power as well as Marius. But deep down, he knew her answer would be no. Arabelle had told him of her grandmother's love for a vampire as well as her opinion that they were the cursed race. Sienna obviously loved her grandmother and trusted her. Making her a vampire wasn't an option.
There was that other matter to contend with as well. He would never hurt her. He knew that now. Not physically anyway. But if she ever found out what kind of a monster he once was, the sin that still blackened his soul, she might look on him with shame and horror. That was something he couldn't bear. He pushed the thought aside, unable to face the devastation that would cause. He was too far gone to turn back now.
His mind drifted back to the night before. Her easy surrender and yearning need for him had nearly broken his control, pushing him to stake his claim with quick force. That was the old demon rising its ugly head, gripping the reins hard and lashing at Nikolai to take what was his with violent speed. Feeling the beast riding him hard was what kept Nikolai from sliding between her legs and pounding home.
The anxious beat of her heart was what had summoned him from his own bed. His need to comfort her was the driving force calling him to her bedroom. When he saw her lying there, soft and pliant and lush in the transparent muslin he'd bought her, his first instinct was to tear the damned thing from her body and take her. That was the moment he froze, realizing it wasn't simply her beauty or the heady scent of wild lavender in the woods she carried under her skin that he wanted.
It was her. All of her.
Her fear of what had happened that day and her need for comfort had beaten his own beast back into its cave. He was determined to give her what she needed and ignore his own desires. For now. Of course, that had left him with the most painfully stiff cock he'd ever had. Still there this morning, he rolled out of the warm cocoon of her bed, groaning at leaving her lush body alone. But a man had only so much willpower. Even a vampire such as him.