The Rebel's Own(23)

It wasn’t the whole truth. That thought earlier about breaking the rules she’d set had proven too tantalizing an idea to resist. Although now she felt anxious, which was silly. Ryan had seen her naked enough times to get her pregnant, twice.

Her heart seemed to take a life of its own when Ryan emerged from the dressing room just in his flannel pants. His body looked even better than it had almost two months ago when they’d reconnected. Wide, strong, muscled, and begging to be touched. She choked as her mouth watered. What she wouldn’t give to put her lips on that strong chest. Did he actually have an eight-pack?

“Is something wrong?” Ryan asked. The sly grin on his face told Kennedy that he already knew what was wrong.

Kennedy chuckled. “You know what’s wrong, and you aren’t playing fair.” She sat up on the bed. “If I took off my clothes right now and sat on this bed with a do not touch sign taped around me, you would be in agony.”

“You don’t need to take off your clothes,” he drawled.

Kennedy swallowed hard, taking him in. Ryan’s eyes were dark with desire, his voice low, his body taut, and his erection already at half-mast. She needed to retreat from this game before he had her under his body writhing with pleasure. That wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. Except that she had already begun to show, and she felt fat. She thought she would have at least four months along before her belly went from flat to tubby. She pulled the cover to her chest and sank deeper into the bed. But the truth was she still didn’t quite trust him enough to let him be so close to her. He had proved he wasn’t that selfish high school boy anymore, but that didn’t mean she trusted him with her heart.

“Why do you do that?” A sliver of irritation crossed over his face. “I want to touch you. I want to kiss you. I want to be your husband in every sense of the word. It’s my duty to satisfy the hunger I see in your eyes, and your body. Why won’t you let me?”

“We should probably go to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day for you.”

“For us,” he corrected.

“Riley is going to be in here at the crack of dawn. He’s so excited about his jersey and his grandparents visiting.”

“Kennedy, I want to make love to you.”

She swallowed hard. It was obvious to anyone who saw him what he wanted to do to her.

“But I won’t. Not tonight. Apparently there is a rule about sex before a game. I don’t get it. But I’m really nervous about tomorrow. Plus, my wife doesn’t want to sleep with me. So I guess my coach lucked out on that.” He cleared his throat. “I also think it would be best if we held off the sex until you learn how to trust me. We need to talk about what happened in high school. I’m sorry that happened.”

“Not now, not with your parents down the hall.”

He paused. “Alright.”

“Ryan,” Kennedy paused as she realized she didn’t know what she wanted to say. “You are going to be great tomorrow.”

“I’m just happy my whole family will be there to support me.” Ryan climbed into bed and turned to face Kennedy. “May I… may I… If I can’t make love to you, may I hold you?”

Stunned, Kennedy stared at him for a second. She could say no, she could turn him away, hurt his feelings, and crush her own heart. Just then Kennedy realized how weak she felt. It wasn’t him she didn’t trust; it was herself. She didn’t trust what she felt. What if she was wrong again? How was she going to survive having his arms around her and not being able to make love to her? She knew her voice would crack if she tried to answer him, so she just nodded.

Ryan’s arms came around her; first he pulled her to her back and put his head on her belly. “Hey little girl, are you alright in there? Daddy loves you.”

Kennedy stared at the white ceiling, trying to blink back the tears filling in her eyes. This was what she missed with Riley and she was glad she had it with this baby. “If we do have a girl, what do you want to name her?”

She couldn’t believe she’d just asked that.

Ryan’s head lifted, his eyes full of surprise and doubt. “You are going to let me name her?”

“I named Riley; I guess it’s only fair.”

Ryan pulled her body against his, cuddling her into his warmth. They fit so perfectly into each other. If only she could forget high school, they would definitely have a happily ever after. She laid her head on his bicep and locked her fingers with his on her belly. Maybe, just maybe, she could find her happily ever after somewhere in this mess.

A mess that needed clearing up as soon as possible.