The Real Macaw(81)

His hands were shaking—whether from fear or anger I couldn’t tell. And it didn’t matter. Either way, I could almost certainly tackle him before he could get a shot off.

I relaxed a little when I saw that he was fumbling with his cell phone. Of course he could be calling whatever thug he’d used to attack Grandfather. Time for me to make tracks.

I returned to the ficus, though without turning my back on him.

“Get someone up here right now, dammit!” he shouted into the phone. “There’s another one of them here trying to steal things from my office!”

I hoisted the ficus and plopped it down on the luggage carrier.

“Unhand my plant!” He raced over and grabbed the pot.

“It’s not your plant!” I shouted back, grabbing the other side of the pot.

Just then, the chief strolled in, trailed by Sammy Wendell. They both blinked when they saw me and the mayor struggling over the ficus plant. Sammy stood frozen. The chief recovered a lot more quickly.

“You called 911,” he said. “What’s the nature of the emergency?”

The mayor let go of the ficus so suddenly that I staggered back and ricocheted off the empty desk. I landed in a heap on top of the luggage carrier, with the plant on top of me.

“Arrest her!” The mayor pointed at me and glared triumphantly.

“On what charges?” the chief said.

“She’s stealing town property!” the mayor shouted.

“The plants are county property.” I shoved the ficus aside and stood up. “Bought with county funds, and maintained under a contract signed by the county. And I’m assisting the Caerphilly Garden Club, which has been authorized by the county to remove the plants for safekeeping.”

“Trespassing on town property!” the mayor shrieked.

“These premises are actually county property,” the chief said. “At least until that confounded mortgage company shows up on Monday.”

“Littering,” the mayor said, pointing to some dirt that had spilled out of the fallen ficus’s pot. “And assault on a public official.”

“Put him down for assault and battery,” I said. “You saw him knock me down, right? He’s also been throwing vases and bookends at me and the other people who’ve tried to collect the plants.” I pointed to the shards of crockery at their feet.

“She’s lying!” the mayor shouted. “Arrest her! Arrest her!”

“I’m not arresting anyone,” the chief said. “Not on your orders.”

He reached into his pocket and took out something. A badge. He held it in his hand for a few seconds, looking at it. No, not looking at it. More like looking inward while his eyes were on it. Then he took a step forward.

The mayor stepped back hastily.

The chief opened his hand to give the mayor his badge.

“I hereby offer you my resignation,” he said.

“I’m not accepting it,” the mayor said. He backed a few more steps away.

“Let me rephrase that,” the chief said. “I quit. Effective immediately.”

He put the badge down on Louise’s desk and took a step back. The mayor stared at the polished gold shield as if he expected it to turn into a rattlesnake.

“Sammy?” The chief’s eyes were still on the mayor.

Sammy, who had been staring in openmouthed astonishment, blinked once or twice and then snapped to attention.

“Yes, sir!” he said.

“Go call Debbie Anne and give her the news,” the chief said.

“Yes, sir!” Sammy saluted and dashed out.

The mayor recovered his voice and uttered a few obscenities.

“I’ll thank you to mind your language,” the chief snapped.

“I don’t need you to teach me manners!” the mayor shouted.

“You darn well need someone to,” the chief said. “A public official should have more respect for himself and the citizens.”

I had the feeling the chief had wanted to say something like that for years.

The chief turned to me.

“That’s a mighty big plant,” he said. “Let me help you with it.”

“I’ve got a luggage carrier,” I said.

We both glanced down at the crumpled metal frame.

“But I don’t think it’s going to work very well,” I went on. “I’d appreciate the help.”

“You can’t do this!” the mayor shrieked.

“I just did,” the chief said. “Let’s lift with our knees, not our backs,” he added to me. I suppressed a chuckle at the thought of how many times his wife had probably told him the same thing.

“Don’t abandon me!” the mayor wailed.

“One. Two. Three. Lift!” the chief said.