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The Ram Rebellion(179)







The petition was addressed to Gustavus Adolphus. It requested that he annul the election that took place on February 22, revoke its effects, and remove Franconia from the unnatural administration imposed by the foreign uptimers. That he restore it to its rightful lords, the native-born Protestant nobility. Offering, in a spirit of noble self sacrifice, that they, should the emperor see fit to burden them with the onerous task, would be willing to assume the duty of governing the heretical, rebellious, Catholic principalities.





Dr. Lenz announced that this was the third copy of the signed and sealed petition. The first had been sent to the emperor directly; the second, through one of the administration's auditors, Herr Johann Friedrich Krausold, to Duke Wilhelm of Saxe-Weimar, who was now using the name Wilhelm Wettin. Lenz's distaste for the latter version of the name was clear in his voice.





Steve said that he was delighted to hear it.





He didn't know what Dr. Lenz had been expecting, but it clearly wasn't that.





Steve really was delighted to get the full list of signers. It was the first really concrete information he had about which of the knights and lords were not going to budge from their objections to what the administration was doing. Not to mention external confirmation that Krausold had not just been griping to Meyfarth but was actively involved in undermining the administration.





Weckherlin saw Dr. Lenz out.





Steve wished he had a buzzer. But he didn't, so he got up to walk down to the auditors' office, where once the special commissioners had sat. He looked around. The coast was clear.





"Maydene," he said. "You may have a little problem in your bailiwick."





The gals promised to get right on it.





Within a minute after she stopped by to visit Eddie at Frau Kronacher's print shop, Noelle was having to fight down laughter.





She wasn't entirely successful, either—which drew a quick glare at her from Eddie, where he was standing at the front of the little storeroom that served him as an impromptu classroom for the apprentices.





"No, Melchior," he said, "I know it's pronounced the same way. But"—here he pointed to a small slate chalkboard propped up against the far wall—"in English, it's actually spelled women. W-O-M-E-N. Not wimmin."





"Makes no sense," protested Melchior's brother Otto. "That should be pronounced `Woe-men.'"





The glare now fell on Otto. "And you think our German doesn't have plenty of quirks, when it comes to spelling?"





"Not as many as English," Otto countered stoutly.





Noelle got the sense this was an old and long-running argument. Eddie shook his head, a bit wearily, and went on.





"Never mind. Let's run through the verses again. Just the first six."





Obediently, the small group of apprentices began chanting in English:





"Once upon a time there were three Brillo Rams Gruff—a little baby ram lamb, a medium-sized ram lamb, and their great big, sturdy, strong, daddy ram.





"Every day they trotted over to the field where there was sweet green grass and all the wimmin. Sometimes there was a fence, but that wasn't much of a problem. The daddy Brillo ram would give the fence such a PINCH, and it would tumble over.





"One day, a bridge and a set of tracks were laid on the way to the field with the sweet green grass and plenty of wimmin. That was no problem, because the three Brillo Rams Gruff just made a nice trit-trot sound on the tracks as they went to the field with the sweet green grass and all the wimmin.





"They went to the field with the sweet green grass and all the wimmin every day. Every afternoon, the Flo lady would take them back to their own place. First she would take the daddy Brillo ram, then the medium-sized Brillo ram lamb, and last of all the little baby Brillo ram lamb.





"One day, a terrible troll blocked the tracks. It puffed and steamed with terrible smoke, and it made a loud chuffing sound, and it rattled its terrible noisy tail. It even made a terrible screeching sound, and had a terrible tinkly bell sound.





"The three Brillo Rams Gruff wouldn't let that troll stop them from going to the field with the sweet green grass and all the wimmin."





Later, as they went out to share lunch at a nearby tavern, Noelle did start laughing. "Why in the world do you use those Brillo fables? Even by English standards, the spelling in them is crazy. Most of that stuff is supposed to be a joke."





Eddie sighed. "Yes, I know. But the Brillo fables are the one thing that is always sure to interest them. Especially these new ones, about Brillo and the railroad people."