The Rakehell Regency Romance Collection Volume 2(85)

"Nonsense for certain. But if neither of them want it?"



"Then I suppose it would be a shame to let it fall into disuse. But it would be awfully large for the two of us, and quite a job to run," she warned.



"We will be blessed with children sooner or later, and there will be visits from you friends and family to look forward to."



She smiled in relief at his words about children. She was tempted to tell him what she suspected, but it was still early days yet. Best to wait until another month passed, at least, just to be sure. And to be certain that the babe was well.



"It's a lovely house, true. But I might be happier in a simple cottage for us both."



"Sarah, my love, you're intelligent enough to run your own estate. If he really doesn't want it, we can make your brother an offer."



She considered it for a short time. "We shall see. Gareth was being trained up to take over the reins as steward. Now he's a French prisoner. I would have to find someone else, or undertake it myself. It would be a big responsibility either way."



"Are you really afraid of the responsibility? Or do you fear living with me openly?" he accused.



She kissed his hand. "I fear nothing. We shall be married as soon as we discuss the situation with Jonathan."



"But I was married. I could still be," he admitted reluctantly.



She worried her lower lip between her teeth. "I can't think why we haven't heard from my brother. But trust me, Jonathan will come back, and will know what to do. He'll like you, I'm sure. In fact, I am willing to bet anything that you not only know each other, you're great friends.



"Besides, I love you, so he can't possibly object. And he certainly can't accuse you of seducing me, of running off with me against my will, now can he?"



He shook his head. "Anyone who knows you, Sarah, knows what a determined woman you are. All the same, explaining how we fell in love is not a conversation I'm looking forward to."



She kissed him gently on the lips. "Then just look forward to our wedding day. For it will happen, I promise. Even if you have to divorce, which will take some time, it will happen eventually."



He heaved a sigh himself now. "I'm sorry to be so worried all the time. It's just that I used to think nothing worse could befall me than what's already happened. But losing you would be far worse, Sarah. I would lose my very reason for living."



"Don't say that!" she said with a shiver of unease. "You're intelligent and hard-working. You've bent under the weight of burdens which would have broken the back of a lesser man. Accidents happen, diseases. I can fall prey to them just as easily as anyone else.



"If you did lose me, darling, I would want you to carry on, no matter what. You haven't come this far with your illness and troubles to give up over me. I'm not worth it. We'll do what we can to help you be independent. I give you my word, my friends are your friends. We'll make sure you are not alone and miserable in the world, no matter what, my love. But you will go on, no matter what, for as long as the good Lord sees fit. We both will."



He took her in his arms for a resounding kiss. "I'm sorry. I just can't help but be frightened after what you told me of your bargain with God."



"Despair is a sin, remember? You will not give way to it, Alexander. I won't let you. I love you, and have no intention of leaving you. I never should have told you about that night."



"No, no I'm glad you did. We promised to be truthful with each other no matter what. I don't want to take what we have for granted, ever," he said, holding her close.



"I'm relieved to hear it. But we also can't let it hang over us like a shadow. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, another session in the Baths in the afternoon. Then we can go out in the gig to some of the local beauty spots. There will also be some shopping. We need to get you fitted with more new clothes, in lighter-weight fabrics."



"I'm already appalled at how much you've spent upon me."



"Don't be silly. We are as one now. You provide all sorts of things for me that money can't buy. Love, companionship, good advice and a host of other things."



"I just never imagined myself a kept man," he grumbled.



"How is it any different from a man keeping me?"



"That's the natural order of things," he said almost primly.



"And Mrs. Miller looking after her sick husband?" she challenged. "How many other women are like her, tending to loved ones maimed or injured in the war? I'm not the only woman in the world who has had to be strong for the man she loves. I doubt I shall be the last."