"I don't want to sound like a superstitious fool. But I'm sure you were dead, just as Jonathan was sure his friends were. I don't know what I have that could possibly bargain away, other than my life.
"Now I'm terrified of losing you. Each of these headaches of yours, I'm sure they can't be good for you. I don't care, I don't want you to remember any more, Alexander. I want us to just assume Marielle is dead, get married, and move on."
"But don't you see, I need to know why they wanted me dead! We might never be safe otherwise."
"Because you were an enemy of France, helping your family, helping the aristocrats," she said impatiently.
He looked doubtful, the frown creasing his brow once more.
"Think about it, Alexander. It makes perfect sense. They wanted to leave France, take their wealth with them. Maybe you were helping Army deserters. You speak Spanish and Portuguese as well as French and English. You could have helped the partisans, told them of the troop movements, I don't know. All I do know is you have no love for Bonaparte."
"Do you think your brother knew somehow?"
She nodded. "I think he must have. You would have needed someone to help get those people to safety. Who better than an old friend from school? At some point you must have given it up though, or been discovered, for otherwise you would never have dared have the tattoo of George and the Dragon put on your chest."
He looked grim at this.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I get the awful feeling that I've put you in danger, you and your family. I was a spy, wasn't I. Not in the Army at all, at least not until the end. Someone betrayed me, wanted me dead."
"True, they might have found out. Or you just decided you would be more useful in the Army, hence the commission papers. I'm guessing that you bought Jonathan's rank after Badajoz, when he gave up the service to take his orders. You were probably injured there."
He shook his head. "I don't know--"
"We'll be fine, Alexander. There's really no need to panic," she said in her most reassuring tone, while all the time her mind was swirling with a million questions. "No one from your past could know you're here. You were traveling under the name Jonathan Deveril, remember?"
"Is there anyone in the road now?" he demanded suddenly.
She looked around. "No. Why?" she asked, puzzled.
He threw his arms around Sarah, clinging to her as though he would never let her go.
She could only hold him close and rub his back. "You're going to be fine, darling, I promise. It will be all right, Alexander. Nothing is going to happen to you. I give you my word. I should never have told you about the other night."
"No, I'm glad you did," he said, bestowing a tender kiss upon her lips. "It puts a whole new perspective on things. There isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep you safe."
"The same is true for me where you're concerned, my darling."
"I know."
"Come, let's get you home. You must be exhausted."
He took some of the parcels from her hands, and walked on. "I do feel drained, I have to admit. This is just so much to take in."
"Let's not talk now. Just rest your mind for a while. Try not to think or worry."
"I only wish I could."
"You'll be fine. Come." She re-adjusted the parcels she was carrying, and they pressed on.
When they reached the cottage, she led him into the small parlor and insisted he stretched out on the day bed for a rest.
"All right, I agree. But you have to promise me that after supper you'll give me a shooting lesson, and help me with my fencing skills."
She gaped. "But Alexander, you can't-"
"I can try," he said in a firm tone that brooked no refusal. "All I have to be able to do is shoot at a noise."
"And what if it's an innocent person? Think for a moment!"
"I am thinking," he maintained. "We need to be safe."
She sat down beside him and placed her palms against his cheeks. "This is some morbid fancy brought about by--"
"I know what I see in my mind's eye. It's not my imagination, some horrid nightmare. It was real, Sarah, all of it. I saw my wife killed in cold blood. My sons too. I've lost far too much, and brought danger with me. I watched three people I cared about die. I will not let it happen to the woman I love more than my own life. Do you understand?"
Sarah stared. "Are you sure? Are you sure she was killed?"
Alexander shook his head. "Not exactly, but almost. Please, my love, just believe in me?"