He roused slightly, and murmured, "I'm having the most wonderful dream."
"It's no dream. It's all real."
"It must be a dream. I never want to wake up."
She kissed him more warmly, until his arms encircled her. "Not a dream. Real flesh and blood. And all yours."
"Mine," he sighed. He stroked her almost tentatively, and she could sense an odd distance in his response.
"Are you very tired and sore from last night?" she asked.
"No. But I think you might be."
"No, I'm fine. Neither of us will be going out riding for the next couple of days, though."
He gave a short laugh. "No, not unless I want a mud bath."
"What, not even if you get one of my special ones afterwards?" she whispered teasingly.
"Well, when you put it that way." He rolled over onto his side to kiss her long and hard, and slid one knee up the side of her leg from calf to mid thigh. But she noticed he still did not put his hands on her, just held her lightly. Was he just so much of a gentleman, or was something else troubling him?
She stroked his face and chin, and rubbed her cheek against his light bristles. She kissed from his chin to his neck, before planting nibbling kisses down to his nipples. She was delighted to see that they hardened to her touch, and swirled her tongue around them just as he had done to her.
"Nice?" she asked.
"Wonderful," he sighed, stretching the word out lazily like a purr.
She took one of his hands and placed it on her own bosom. He hesitated for a moment, then relaxed and began to stroke her breast. She moved back up to his mouth to kiss him, while her hand dipped ever lower. He held her wrist for a moment, but she continued to wriggle her fingers, and he surrendered with a sigh.
She was not sure why he was holding back, but a little devil inside of her was determined to make whatever barriers he was constructing for himself crumble to dust.
She moved her hand onto him, and let it travel down lower, to the apex between his thighs, before stroking upwards lightly. She knew she had to be careful with some parts of him. She recalled the agony of her brother once when he had been kicked in the groin area.
Alexander groaned now, but it was a sound of raw pleasure. "What are you doing to me?" he gasped.
"Can't you guess?" she whispered huskily.
"Sarah, it's good of you to-"
She giggled. "Good of me? Not quite. Most people would say it was wicked. But I love you, Alexander. I don't want to ever spend another night apart from you."
"You say that now, but what if I discover... We discover..."
She kissed him before moving to straddle him. "This is all I need to know. The way we are now. Past and future don't matter. I love you. I want you. It can't be wrong."
He tried to hold her back, but she slid down him until he groaned and grasped her hips. Still he hesitated.
"Go on, touch me, love me. I won't break, Alexander, I promise." She moved against him, and he was lost.
Holding her tightly with one hand, he flipped her over on her back and drove into her with powerful hot strokes which set her to shuddering. Her sanity splintered, and she could hear herself crying out his name with a desperate urgency as he brought her higher and higher. They climaxed together, long pulsings of delight which seemed to last an eternity.
At that he groaned and pulled away. "Oh, Lord, Sarah, I can't believe I forgot myself like that."
"I did it too." She clung to him fiercely. "Is it so unusual then? From what you can remember, I mean."
He shook his head. "I don't know what to think, what to feel. Part of me is telling me not to. The other part of me is swirling with all sorts of passions and needs, and doubts."
"I trust you," Sarah reassured him. "With my life. Body and soul."
"I know you do. I just don't trust myself." He sighed and turned over onto his back, his head leaning against the board. She moved up with him, and rested her head on his chest. Both still trembled with the aftershocks of their incredible lovemaking.
"Sometimes a person can think too much. Look at my brother, for example. He tried to do the noble thing and give up Pamela, when all the time he loved her. I don't want you to think you have to be noble and give me up. I love you, Alexander. I don't care what you can and can't remember. I don't care if you can't see."
He put one hand on her shoulder and shook her slightly. "You say that now, my love. But you might come to care."
"I didn't care about your, er, problem. We took steps and we solved it. We can do the same with your other ones."