Perhaps with proper food and rest, and move improvements with his back and mobility, all would be well. Stimulating the flesh, circulation... And Bath was said to cure all manner of ills.
She could think of any number of things they might be able to try. She hadn't worked in the clinic for nothing. And she was a firm believer in the healing power of touch. He would get well. She was determined he would.
But to what end, if he were already married...
She shoved that thought aside. It didn't matter to her. There were plenty of couples who shared intimacy who weren't married. He was the only man she had ever met who could turn her inside out with a simple kiss. She certainly wasn't going to give him up without a fight. Not when they had both come so far. Especially her. The only thing more wrong than falling in love with him would be to turn her back on him when he trusted her. Needed her.
"Are you all right, Sarah?" he asked at one point when Jenny and Caleb had gone inside.
"Fine. Why?"
"You're so quiet."
"I could say the same of you."
"I'm sorry. Please don't hate me."
Sarah laughed abruptly. "You ought to know by now that that's the last emotion I could ever feel about you."
"Sarah--"
"Keep spinning, Alexander. We'll be done in no time. We can talk later."
"Indeed. Talk is all I'm good for."
"Stop that right now," she ordered. "It will do neither of us any good."
Alexander heaved a ragged sigh and worked on, though his back was burning and his fingers felt raw. Anything for the wonderful woman who made him feel so bathed in warmth and tenderness he could weep. Weep for joy, and for all he had lost. All he could never give her. Or indeed any other woman.
Not that he could ever imagine wanting anyone more than he wanted this lovely lady, but she seemed so far out of his reach even though she was sitting right next to him that he found himself asking, "Can I look at you, please?"
"Pardon?" she gasped.
"With my fingers, on your face," he clarified, letting go of his wool and stopping the treadle.
"Yes, I suppose so," she said, hoping her misgivings weren't too obvious.
He was conscious of Jenny and Caleb in the kitchen only a few yards away, but he didn't care. He reached out for her tentatively, and his hand landed squarely on the top of her head. He stroked her soft hair then moved down to her high, delicate forehead, elegant curved brows, fine straight nose. His fingers lingered on her cheekbones, enjoying her petal soft skin with the underlying strength which supported it. It was just like the rest of her, soft but steely when need be.
He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, caressing its fullness, longing to match his mouth to hers. But before he gave into the temptation, he let his fingers glide down to her chin, and her firm jaw.
He tried to make light of the tempest of swirling emotions in his body and mind. "Beautiful, but daunting for most men. They either assume that you are too much of a woman for them, or that you're so splendid you can't possibly be available. So you remain alone. What a pitiful waste."
She lifted the chin he was still lightly clinging to. "Not all men are so easily scared away. But nor have any been welcomed into my world, my home," she said, making a pointed reference to his living there with her. "And my life is not wasted simply because I have no beau. As you can see, my life is a busy one."
"But is it the one you've chosen, or the one your brother gave you?" he challenged.
"I've chosen it," she said defensively. "It's a good one. That is not to say I would not be willing to alter it to suit that of any man who did come into my life. I would like to think I'm adaptable. And I'd be happy to see more of the world. I love Somerset, but I carry it and my family and friends in my heart no matter where I go."
He stepped away from her then, taking the hint, but certainly not willing or able to commit himself when his head swirled with such uncertainties.
"You might well say you were willing to give all this up, but a man who truly loved you might deem it cruel to take you away from the setting which is the perfect foil for you."
"I am no jewel, sir, but a flesh and blood woman. Not meant to be kept in a glass case and simply admired, but appreciated daily, allowed to shine and sparkle."
"And get chipped, marred?"
"Working in the clinic, I have seen that women are capable of withstanding rough handling, dirt and grime, but can still shine for all that."
He stroked his hand down her back. "Ah, yes, but a man who truly cared for you would never allow you to be so besmirched."