The Rakehell Regency Romance Collection Volume 2(43)

Now she could understand everything she had ever read about that elusive emotion. The mad passion, the longing to be as one with the beloved. The need for just one more look or touch, yet even as it was received, to long for more, and know a lifetime of such would still never be enough.



God forgive her for ever having judged Jane or any other woman harshly in the dark of her ignorance. She had thought herself broad-minded, but superior. Had believed herself immune to that emotion, incapable of ever losing her head in so wild and foolhardy a manner.



But at the first hurdle of temptation, she had not only stumbled, but also fallen head over heels. And undoubtedly landed right up to her neck in the mire. Lord, Alexander just had to wake up, he just had to.



And could loving him be so wrong? Such a sin? Surely the Lord had sent him here to be comforted and aided in his time of darkest need?



Or was he the work of the Prince of Darkness, sent here to tempt her? Or to dangle the prospect of joy in front of her, only to leave her in despair?



She was glad to have the tall, raw-boned Miller lad and lass with her. They seemed so solid and practical, that she was sure that they would be able to help if there was some sort of crisis. They certainly helped lift her brooding spirits with all her fanciful notions and grim forebodings.



Both were tall and lanky, quite bright, with hearts of gold. She noted how careful they both were of Alexander, bathing his temples and throat, and watching him like a hawk.



But there was no sense in them all staying up the entire night. At three Sarah told Sally and Jed to follow Jenny and Caleb's example and go to bed for a couple of hours' sleep.



Once she was alone with Alexander, she began to pray like she had never prayed before. She took his hand, and willed him to come back to her, to draw strength from her.



When she dared look up into his face once more, she was horrified to see he had a terrible nosebleed. She tilted his head back so he would not choke, and wadded up some cotton wool to plug his nostrils.



He immediately began to cough and splutter. For a moment she was terrified he was choking to death, so strong was the flow of blood.



"Alexander! Alexander! Don't you dare! Don't you die on me! Don't leave me!"



She pressed her head to his chest, and could hear only the faintest of heartbeats. "No! You can't have him, Lord! Do you hear me! His time hasn't come! Why would you put him through all of this suffering only to take him now?"



His breath rattled in his throat, and Sarah went wild with grief, pounding his chest with her fist as if she could force it to beat by her sheer strength of will.



"Do you want another bargain? You already have Jonathan's! Was Alexander part of that one? Or do you want one from me, too?"



She pounded Alexander's chest again, but his breath was still coming in great rattling sobs. She knew the sound. She had heard it before. It was Time's winged chariot hurrying near...



"All right, you win! Take me! I don't want a happy old age, or even a happy middle age! I just want Alexander, for a little while longer. My life for his. I don't know how or why, but I love him. Take me! Take me!"



She pounded his chest one last time. As his breath flew out of him in a final rush, she clamped her mouth over his for a desperate kiss. She was panting heavily, and so distraught that at first she did not notice his chest rising and falling in time to her own breathing.



Only when his arm crept around her shoulders and pressed her mouth to his in an earnest kiss did she realize he was still alive.



Her eyes flew open and she jerked away in complete shock. He looked up at her with a puzzled frown, studying her so intently that for a moment she was certain he could see her.



"Good morning, Sarah," he whispered. "That was a fine way to wake up."



"G-g-g-good morning," she gasped, her hand over her open mouth, staring at him as though at a ghost. She tasted blood, and mopped his face hurriedly. She was relieved to see that the torrent from his nose had become a mere trickle. The color had come back into his cheeks, and he was actually trying to pull her into his arms for another warm embrace. She had never seen him look so happy.



Jenny, Caleb and the Miller children had been roused by the commotion, and now piled into the small room.



"What is it? What's wrong?" Caleb demanded.



"Nothing now. He's all right," Sarah said with a shaky laugh, overjoyed, but so overcome by passion and relief, she had all to do not to burst into tears.



"Thank God," Sally said.



"Welcome back, lad."



"Golly, if you didn't give us a terrible fright, sir!" Jed Miller exclaimed.



"What would you like me to cook you for breakfast?" Jenny asked practically.