The Rakehell Regency Romance Collection Volume 2(36)

"Forty-five."



"What color is a daffodil?"



"Yellow. Narcissi are pale yellow with gold in the center."



"Interesting, the things you recall. Practical things, but not the essentials about yourself. It suggests that something, even you yourself, are stopping you from remembering."



He shrugged, obviously uneasy at the turn the conversation had taken. "Whatever is causing it is unimportant. The plain fact is I can't remember. And I hate being so dependent upon you for everything."



She ignored his last sentence, intent upon her fact-finding mission. "But you recollect other things. Was all of this knowledge in your head when you came to, or has it come about gradually?"



"Gradually. I couldn't even speak when I first awakened."



Her hazel eyes widened. "Oh my. But it is evident that you recall things which you had to have known before your injuries. You couldn't possibly know what a flower looked like now, could you? You can't see. It was in your head before, and has come to the surface."



"So?" he asked, not sure where her thoughts were leading, and feeling more and more cornered by the moment. He hated being in the dark, lost. But even more terrifying was the prospect of discovering the meaning of the horrendous visions he had seen in his sleep.



"So it's possible that your identity will come back too, Alexander. It will rise up from below as well, when the time is right. Those nightmares you have, even the headaches, may be part of the process."



He put his hand upon hers. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I'm warning you not to get your hopes up," he said, his tone edgy, almost a growl of warning. "I may not ever find my past."



She squeezed his fingers, and stroked the back of his hand soothingly, tracing the veins almost absentmindedly. "I have no hopes, Alexander, except that you'll get that which you desire. I'm happy enough with you as you are at the moment. I'm not saying it will be easy for you, but it matters not a jot to me if I never know who you were. I know who you are now, and that's all that matters."



Alexander sighed. "I would like to believe that. But it seems too wonderful to be true. And the past has a way of coming back to haunt us."



"You've been given a second chance at life. You've obviously been to Hell and back. Perhaps your memory is the price you have to pay for it."



She stroked his cheek, and he kissed her hand warmly, with the lightest pressure of his tongue on the back of it which set her ashivering, her nipple peaking almost painfully under all her layers of clothing.



"Perhaps you wouldn't be able to live a normal life if you could remember," she whispered, shaking with desire.



He stood up abruptly, relinquishing her hand before he did something so unspeakable he ruined any chance of retaining her friendship. "All these possibilities are making my head spin, Sarah. Why don't we go for that walk you promised me?"



She jumped up and stared at him from her side of the table. Every nerve in her body ached to step closer to him, to put her arms around him. He had been more than demonstrative.



She stepped back instead. She simply couldn't allow herself to be so bold with the man she wanted more than anything, but knew virtually nothing about.





Chapter Seven



Sarah considered Alexander's suggestion that they go for a walk, and at length agreed.



"I have a basket of things to take to the school, and a few calls to pay. Are you up to walking a half a mile each way, do you think?"



"I'll do my best."



"Do you really wish to walk, or should we take the gig?"



"Walk, please. I don't want to stiffen, not after that wonderful bath this morning."



"Very good. I shall get my cloak and a coat for you, and we'll head to Brimley."



She fetched her things and helped him on with his outer garments, reveling in the contact with his broad shoulders and chest.



He was so huge, it would be all too easy for him to simply grab her, overwhelm her, but he was so gallant, he did not take advantage of her nearness, much as she found herself wishing he might. Just one kiss from that wonderfully sensual mouth would be worth it, she was sure.



But he merely stood with his hands at his sides until she proclaimed them both ready.



He took the basket from her hand and looped it over his arm. "How shall we manage going down the road?"



"I shall take your arm as all ladies do, and lead you. No one will need to know you are blind if you don't wish them to."



"Won't they wonder about me?"



"There's no reason to," she assured him. "You're my cousin Alexander. My brother has just been married. It's only natural for relations to come visit for such an occasion."