The Rakehell Regency Romance Collection Volume 2(20)
"Chores such as?" he asked with a skeptical quirk of one brow.
"A lot of things," she said firmly, though none sprang to mind at that particular moment. "But I won't put you to work until you're feeling better and are properly rested. In the meantime I shall look over the papers, make inquiries. We may not find all of the answers. My brother may or may not know you. All these things take time. It could be days, weeks, or months until we get any specifics. But someone out there knows who you are, and either we will find them, or they will find you."
"It's so hard to wait. I've been like this for over a year now," he confessed, every word fraught with frustration.
"And you wrote letters, made inquiries?"
"So far as I could from Spain, yes, but there was nothing. Of course they've had a lot of things to do at Horse Guards with the war on."
"Yes, quite," she said wryly.
"But since you tell me that your brother is the Jonathan Deveril being described by the little information I do have, it means I'm not even Jonathan Deveril. So anything I've learnt about my supposed self and past has been for naught. My trail has gone cold. "
She patted his hand. "It's brought you here for a reason, I'm sure of it. And once he hears about your circumstances, he will be just as happy to help as I am. Your tattoos tell me you are, even if you don't wish to listen to my instincts. So, trust in the fact that you are safe now and that all will be well. The answers you're looking for will have to wait a bit longer, but that is no bad thing. It will give you a chance to rest and regain your strength here."
He shook his head. "But you don't even know me, who I am, what I'm capable of. For all you know I could have a dreadful past," he argued.
Sarah stared at him. Ah, so that was it...
She ruffled his hair again gently. "I think I can understand some of your fears and concerns. You're worried about the kind of man you were, and are. Wonder about the things you did during the war, I dare say. Many soldiers who've been through the hell of the Peninsular War would love to be gifted with blessed forgetfulness over what they endured.
"Well, I can't say for sure that you were a good, decent man back then. I will say that you have all the polish and good manners of a gentleman. You're intelligent and I believe educated. You may never recall anything about your life before the war. But to me it really doesn't matter if you never remember or discover the truth.
"My brother has many friends, and not all of them have led the kind of lives they would be unreservedly proud of. Some have been rakes, and others, well, let's just say they're going to have to make peace with their God in their own way.
"But none of us have any right to judge. I'm certainly not going to cast stones. I've found a person is more than his or her past. A man is his present, how he chooses to live his life day after day. It will take time, but we'll find the answers you seek. I'm sure of it."
"Miss Deveril, I can't ask you to be so generous to a stranger such as myself. Think of your position in the village. A woman alone-"
She patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. "The villagers and townspeople hereabouts are all very kind. They'll like you, I'm sure of it. And be glad to make room for you here in the community. We could tell the truth, but it might only confuse people. And I can understand you being concerned for my reputation, as well as yours. So we can simply tell them you're a cousin back from the war, and home for Jonathan and Pamela's wedding."
"Cousin?"
"It will explain the last name, at any rate. We just need to come up with a Christian name."
He frowned. "What would you suggest?"
Sarah considered. "Your initials are Jay A Dee. My brother's middle name is Alexander. It would seem to be as good a name as any."
He nodded, liking the sound of it. "That seems a logical solution to a rather unusual problem. Alexander it is then," the newly christened young man said with a nod.
"After the great conqueror, don't you know," she said with a smile. "It suits you somehow, scarred and battered as you are."
"I'm sure I'm no hero," he said bitterly.
"True, not everyone who fights is, but if you are anything like my brother and his friends, you went for the principle of the thing. To save Europe from oppression, not just go after plunder. What the French did in the countries they captured is scandalous. Why, in the end their army wasn't even welcome in their own towns and villages, they behaved so disgracefully, whilst Wellington and his troops were welcomed with open arms."
"Thank God it's all over. France hasn't had peace since 1789."