The Rakehell Regency Romance Collection Volume 2(192)

He paused, and she nodded encouragement. "I understand, Will. Go on. Tell me. Tell me what your heart is telling you."



"That is isn't even a case of the war against Napoleon any more. That the fight is much greater than any of us can imagine. A fight of good versus evil, to the death, to preserve our home and those we love."



"Is that not all the more reason to give the weapons to our side?" she asked, stroking his shoulder.



"It would be, were it not for what my heart is telling me. If I don't give them up, we're all in danger. But if I do tell Stewart where they are, Parks will die."



Vevina's eyes widened. "What? What on earth--"



Will shook his head. "Don't ask me how I know, I just do. I've seen it as clearly as I see you right now."



Vevina gripped both his shoulders hard and shook him. "I don't believe that. We make our own fates. I've seen death, suffering and miracles. If Stewart hadn't found us and helped us--"



"It was meant to be. The wheel has to come full circle."



She shook her head. "I refuse to believe that God is moving us around like pieces on a chessboard. I'm surprised at you, Will. What kind of deity would make you shoot your own wife?"



"He didn't make me. I had a choice," he said quietly.



She gripped his hand hard. "Exactly. You did have a choice. You had a split second or two and you did what your heart told you was best. You acted on instinct, not out of evil or malice.



"When you saw she had been tricked by those French spies pretending to be partisans at San Sebastian, you did the only thing you could think of to save lives. And to make sure she didn't suffer."



"But I killed her!"



"You know what would have happened if you hadn't!"



"I took aim, and pulled the trigger—"



"Stop it, Will, just stop it!" she insisted, shaking him harder, appalled at the inner Hell he had been tormenting himself with ever since he had made that fateful choice.



"I did my duty, and shot her right through the heart. The heart that claimed it loved me," he said in a horrified whisper.



Vevina lost all patience then and shoved him backwards into a chair.



"If you want to torment yourself, Will, why not think about this instead. You know for a fact what would have happened to her if you hadn't pulled that trigger. They had captured Rosaria. They would have tortured and raped her until she gave them the information that they wanted, and then they would have killed her anyway, along with every other person she named in the partisans.



"Then they would have killed hundreds, if not thousands of other people with the secret weapons stash you and Parks put together in the hills nearby. You all knew what was at stake on that mission. You and Parks knew she could never be permitted the chance to betray us all under duress. Parks did what had to be done, or tried to.



"But he missed. It was a rainy day, Will. His powder was damp. It was just bad luck for all of you, Rosaria most of all. Parks missed. You could have handed your rifle to him. You didn't have to pull the trigger yourself."



Will threw his arms around her waist then and sobbed against her gown. "I had to. I had to be sure. Sure she wouldn't betray us all. Sure she wouldn't suffer."



"Of course. You were always the better shot."



"But one part of me was relieved she was dead. Marrying her was the worst mistake I ever made-"



"Sush. It doesn't matter now," she soothed, stroking his hair back from his forehead. "It's over."



"Except for explaining to Elizabeth."



"You should have done it before," Vevina said with a shake of her head.



They turned to look over at the woman on the bed, and found Elizabeth's eyes open. She was staring at Will with a new understanding in her eyes.



"It seems I might have already," Will sighed.



Elizabeth raised her arms, and Will rolled into the bed and held her close.



"We'll talk again later, Brother."



"Aye, but please, not one word to Stewart or Parky, at least not yet."



Vevina swallowed hard, but in the end, she nodded. "All right. I promise."



"You'll keep an eye on Parks? Keep him safe?"



"I'll do my best," Vevina reassured him. "Rest now. Both of you. And tell her the truth now, Will. Everything. Before it's too late."





Chapter Twenty-eight



Will dreaded having to tell his wife about his past and relive the horror yet again. He was steeling himself to do it for both their sakes, but in the end it was Elizabeth who spoke first. "I remember it all now, dearest," she said with a tear in her eye.