The Rakehell Regency Romance Collection Volume 2(104)

Mr. Evans shifted uncomfortably in the doorway. "I shall be going now, ladies. Mr. Deveril." He bowed.



"Thank you, Mr. Evans. Tell Tim and Edgar they won't be needed for the moment. They can go look in on Caleb."



"Yes, of course. Goodbye."



Sarah started to leave as well, but Alexander held her back. "I have nothing to hide from you. Stay."



"Are you sure?"



"I trust you. If you're certain, then I'll have to accept her as well. But you can see things I can't. I need your help," he said in a low tone.



He put her through her paces, name, date of birth, place of birth, religion, siblings and family. Almost everything she told them, Alexander was able to confirm. There was a ring of truth to everything she uttered, so that Sarah became sick with apprehension. Her last glimmers of hope twinkled and went out. So it was true. This was his wife.



She compressed her fingers together, hoping the physical pain would block out the mental anguish, but the words kept repeating themselves over and over again in her head like a horrible litany.



Adulteress, whore, bastard...



She was about to lose everything, the man she loved, her home, her reputation, her family's status in the district, her brother's parishes if there were to be an outcry against her.



Her bags were packed...



But where could she go?



She would have traveled to the ends of the earth with Alexander, but he was leaving her. Going back to his old life... With his first love, and their child.



Adulteress, whore, bastard...



Oh Lord. Her bargain was a bitter one indeed. But she would not end up like Jane. She would not.



Marielle told him of his life as a merchant, his ships, his hobbies, his tattoos and other body markings, including his sixth toe, his broken rib, his shoulder wound. Sarah listened as she recounted the intimate details of their marriage, and felt her stomach churn.



Finally Sarah could stand no more. She took Alexander by the arm and said, "I think we've taken up enough time here. All that remains is for you to finish packing and go."



"But I can't-"



"She's your wife. You have to."



"You can't tell me that this is what you really want?" he pleaded.



She pulled him over to one side of the doorway. "You need answers, and so do I. Go home and find out the truth. You'll have servants, people to help you. I'm not suggesting you can reconcile your differences amicably. But at least try to pretend that you're willing to stay married until we can work out what to do.



"You need to face the demons of your past, and you need to be safe. Tell your wife and friends what has happened. Get to the bottom of why those men tried to kill you so that you and I don't have to live in hiding for the rest of our lives."



"Sarah-"



You know I'm right. There's nothing more to say. Just go. And when you have any news, send for me, and I shall come."



He suddenly said, "You're lying, aren't you? You're planning to give me up. To end our relationship!"



She sighed, unable to lie to the man she loved more than life itself. "I don't want to, but I have no choice. She has a wedding ring, marriage papers. Our love is an abomination in most people's eyes. Perhaps this is the price I have to pay for bringing you back to life that night."



He yanked her into the hallway, and closed the door. "I love you, Sarah. You can't think for a moment that anyone else means a thing to me!"



"Don't say that. You wife, your new son? They have to mean something. You're a decent man who keeps his word. I should be a decent person and keep mine. I made my bargain with God, remember? Be happy, so that it's not in vain."



"I can't accept this, Sarah!" he rasped. "I love you! That woman means nothing-"



"You have to go. If you don't go now, we'll continue to wonder about your past for the rest of our lives. Always hiding in shadows is not the way I want us to love. The way I would like to bring up any children we may have. You need to go now, and find the truth."



He could see the wisdom of her word, and nodded abruptly. "This isn't the end, Sarah. But you're right, I need to get some answers. Come with me, be my eyes and--"



"You know that's impossible. We would all be ruined."



"I don't care--"



"But I do. For you, and for our future. And both our families."



He heaved a huge sigh. "No I suppose as much as we love each other, even I can't expect you to share the house with my wife, no matter how much I need you."



"No, you can't. You'll have her, and other friends, servants to help you."



"But none of them will be the woman I love," he said in anguished tones.