"But let us turn back to your own situation. Gambling one's sister is not seen every day. It will be the talk of the district for many months. Add to that the fact that people don't know you very well, and there has been gossip about you being too intelligent, or even mad, as they say Gerald can be, and you must see why you need to be protected. We live in a society with narrow views and mores. While I cannot entirely agree with its dictates, I am forced to adhere to what our class finds acceptable."
She grew more miserable with his every word. It seemed more and more like he was trying to come up with an excuse for letting her down gently, telling her the match was off. She had never imagined that prospect would fill her with such alarm.
"But why can't I just be allowed to live as I choose? In an estate of my own until--"
Clifford shook his head, looking genuinely regretful. "People flout authority and convention at their own peril. Especially women. Here in England we expect the women deemed gentry to be meek, subservient, breeders of children, but without a thought in their head or any education to speak of. We expect them to be ornaments, to sing and play, and make endless yards of tatting. You and I both know there's more to life for women than simply doing fancy work with their needles and dropping babies as mares do their foals."
She blushed and tried to withdraw her hand and step away from him, but he declared, "You insisted upon honesty, so honesty you shall have."
"Very well. But I do have the right to disagree," she said with some spirit. "Not all men in society view women in that way. You do not, nor does Henry. Nor Malcolm and Samuel, so far as I can tell from my limited acquaintance."
He was pleased with her defence of he and his friends. He also noted she did not include her brother or cousins in her list, but did not comment upon the omissions.
"The Rakehell circle are the exception, not the rule, Vanessa. And not every Radical would agree with us. Yes, I want to marry you to protect you from the vicious gossiping which would make your life a misery in our society. Force you to be either an outcast or conform to their expectations of how a so-called 'real' woman should behave. I am old-fashioned enough to believe that women do need to be protected simply because they are weaker in terms of physical strength. The world, especially men, can be very cruel, as you have said. Cruel politically too, denying women rights and equality.
"I will confide in you now, and say that I have learned about how cruel life can be for women first-hand from the example of some of my friends. Please take my word for it without pressing me for more information. My best friend Thomas Eltham's sister Jane, for example, has gone through more than any woman should have to bear. I'm not at liberty to discuss the particulars. Suffice it to say that she fell into the hands of an unscrupulous fortune hunter, who has made her life a living hell."
He looked more grim than she had ever seen him as he imparted this news. Her head was full of questions, but all she could say was, "Oh, my."
"I give you my word, and you may put it in your marriage settlement, that if I ever lift my hand to you, or force you to do anything against your will, the marriage is instantly over."
She hastened to reassure him, placing her arm around his waist to emphasize her earnestness. "I am not that fearful of marriage."
He took her other hand and kissed it. "But men think that they can exercise their conjugal rights no matter what. That once the woman is wed to them, they can do as they please. Similarly, if a woman has said yes once, that it will always be yes. I have heard talk in the men's clubs which make me ashamed to be a man."
She returned the warm pressure of his hand. "Yet at the same time, it is said that the conjugal act is for the comfort and ease of both partners in marriage, is it not?"
"It should be. I haven't been in love before, so I cannot say for certain."
"But you have--" She blushed.
"Er, yes. I am sorry not to be perfect for you. I lapsed some time ago, I'm afraid. I am no virgin, but my father taught me to respect women, and understand the consequences of amorous liaisons. It has always seemed unfair to me that the women seem to bear the brunt of licentious behavior far more than men. A child out of wedlock is an outward sign of sin, whereas the man can usually get off scot-free if he chooses to deny his involvement with the lady. Goodness only knows what happens to the women and children when that occurs."
She stared at him for an instant.
"Ah, I can see what you're thinking," he said, his eyes picking up every nuance of her altering expression. "You are thinking that I could easily engage in adulterous relations with married women, the better to hide my inclinations. But adultery too is a sin. I may not be the most devout Christian in the world, but I go to church every Sunday, and I do take the Ten Commandments seriously. A wealthy and mature widow with a desire for company is all I have ever been guilty of, on very rare occasions. And it was always mutual, and only if I respected and admired the widow as a person."