She stood up and restlessly wandered about the room. She gazed out the window, and saw Clifford below.
She ran over, opened the casement and poked her head out to call to him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Clifford heard the disturbance above and turned. Though he still looked sad and pensive, he mustered a smile at his delight in seeing her calling to him from out of her window.
"I feel like Romeo in the balcony scene," he teased. He put his hand over his heart in a comically melodramatic manner. "Will you be my Juliet?"
"I've already said yes."
"But I would never want you to regret your choice."
"If you have been honest and forthright with me, then I never shall."
Clifford sighed. "The truth can sometimes be an overrated thing."
"How so?" she asked with a frown.
"Where it causes pain to the people we love."
She blinked, and sat on the ledge. "Is there something you wish to tell me?"
"No, nothing. And please, do be careful up there."
"I'm fine. You must remember me climbing everything in sight when I was a little girl. My father used to call me his little monkey."
"Not a very flattering description, even if apt."
"I don't mind. It was rather adorable."
He grinned slightly. "Well, I'm sure you haven't climbed any trees since you gave up short skirts, so please, do be careful."
"Pray do not change the subject. I want to know what has you worried."
Clifford shrugged. "All this talk of violence is most unsettling. I would have you and our children safe."
She stared. "We shall be. They will catch the highwaymen, and there will be an end to it."
He shook his head. "There will never be an end to it. If those men remain uncaught, more innocent people will suffer. If they are found out, their innocent families will suffer."
"Better the guilty should suffer, than the innocent be preyed upon, Clifford."
He sighed. "But their families are both innocent and ignorant of what their men have done. They will not be able to hold their heads up in the district again, even though they are blameless."
Vanessa shook her head. "Surely people would not be so uncharitable as to censure them for the actions of their sons or brothers or husbands or fathers?"
"I imagine it depends upon the extent of the crimes."
"And it will depend upon the individual people as well, how harshly they choose to judge. But as the Bible says, 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone.'"
Clifford nodded. "That's true. But some people are without sin. You, for example."
She laughed. "Oh, Clifford, I'm nothing of the sort. I would not have you think you are getting a perfect wife, and then be disappointed. I have my own little vanities and pride like everyone else."
"They cannot be compared to the actions of those vicious criminals."
She looked down at him levelly. "And you? What sins would you like to confess?"
Clifford was silent for several moments, so that she began to grow fearful of the magnitude of his revelation. But when it finally came, he simply said, "I have done many things I regret. I can provide you with a long catalog, if you like. But perhaps my greatest sin is lacking the courage to be totally honest at times. But I do it to protect the people I love. Perhaps it's also because I fear losing what I care about most."
She considered his words for a moment. "That doesn't sound like such a bad sin, provided that withholding the truth does not harm the person in question."
"I cannot be sure. That's the trouble. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't."
She frowned at him, puzzled. "Then perhaps you should just tell the truth and hang the consequences."
"If I air my suspicious aloud, perhaps more than the consequences might hang, Vanessa. Either way it lies heavily on my conscience."
Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. "You think you might know something about the highwaymen, don't you!"
"Sush! Not so loud! These are desperate men, and they could be anywhere."
"Here at the Jeromes? I hardly think so," she said with a bemused shake of her head.
"You know the fable of the wolf in sheep's clothing. It could be any one of a dozen people in the district, men who might even come to dine at this house.
"Vanessa, for your own safety, I must urge you most strongly to keep silent about this matter. Let the Army and the local magistrates see what they can do. I have mere suspicions only. To speak of them openly now would cause more harm than good."