The Rakehell Regency(339)

"Oh, no," she said, mortified.



"It's all right," Jonathan reassured her, continuing to help her divest him of his clothes with alacrity. "I don't blame her for being suspicious, not after all the lies that had been told about me. I followed you on to Thomas's and from there to the sanitarium here."



"You really love me," she whispered, unable to believe her ears.



He paused at the waistband of his trousers, not wishing to shock her unduly. "I can't believe how close I came to losing you. I don't want to wait another minute to make you mine. So we can marry here in London, and have a proper ceremony back home in Somerset for all our friends and family at the end of the month. I shall have to find a diligent curate in the meantime. I plan on having a very long honeymoon, my love. That is if you'll say yes."



She beamed up at him, all her love shining in her eyes. "Yes. Of course. Thank you, my love. I feel so honored. I can't believe my good fortune."



"I'm the lucky one. You're a dream come true, my dearest love."



Pamela reached out to stroke his now bare chest until he drew her closer. His hands traced the curves of her breasts, but when he looped his arm around her she cringed.



He frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm going too fast for you," Jonathan said regretfully when he saw her pained response.



"No, my shoulder twinged, that's all. I'm fine, really. But before we go any further I need to perform my morning toilette, and you need to get out of the rest of those clothes."



Jonathan looked rather sheepish as she stared at the fork of his trouser, but nodded. "I just put some hot water behind the screen. Take your time. There's no hurry. And let me know if, well, you need help. With your shoulder and everything."



"Why Jonathan Deveril, I do believe you're blushing." She gave him a long, sensual kiss on the mouth and rose from the bed to head for the corner.



"I just want to make sure you aren't doing this because you think I expect it. And I'm worried that I might have upset you."



"Not at all," Pamela sought to reassure him when she heard the disappointment in his voice. "It was just so surprising. So exciting. Let me just perform a few necessary ablutions and I'll be right back. I want our first time to be perfect."





Chapter Thirty-three



"But with your shoulder-- Maybe we should wait," Jonathan protested.



She laughed ruefully and shook her head. "I've waited long enough. You have too."



She tended to her most urgent needs behind the screen, then poured out some hot water into the basin. She added some cold and hiked the nightrail straight over her head with her good right arm.



"No wonder so many people say sexual pleasure is a sin. I've longed for you so much, Jonathan, more than I ever imagined possible. I admit now I've felt at times as though I would be willing to trade my soul for just one night in your arms," she admitted as she performed her brief toilette.



"I know how you feel," he confessed. "I'm no saint, love. It's been torture. I wasn't a rake, but nor was I a virgin. I should have kept to good Christian principles in that regard, but I failed."



"What, since you were ordained?" she asked with a frown as she lathered herself all over with the lilac soap.



"No, not that," he said with a shake of his head, casting his breeches onto the floor. "No, I took that vow and I meant it.



"No, I was referring to the fact that I wasn't as pure as I should have been before, at college, and during the war. Not pure enough to wait for Jane to grow up anyway, though of course there was no question of us being engaged at that point."



"I can understand that now," she said, rinsing herself off quickly with the washcloth. "I was never sure what the powerful surgings were all about until you touched me, sat with your leg pressed to mine. I burned for you, my love. I can see how passion could make even the most respectable of women behave so impetuously.



"But even more powerful than the desire of my body was that of my mind. I hungered for your company night and day. Hungered for the sound of your voice, the sight of your face, every moment we were apart. But now I'm going to have you by my side always."



She gave a happy giggle, and began to dry herself all over with quick swipes of a large thick towel.



She wrapped it around herself, and took a deep steadying breath before stepping out from behind the screen.



"It is powerful, sexual desire, but I love you, heart and soul, not just body. I swear to you, Pamela, I shall never give you any reason to doubt my love and fidelity." He opened his arms to her then, aching for her to come to him of her own free will.