The Rakehell Regency(318)
She could imagine them all laughing at her if the word ever got out. But she was not to be made a mockery of. She was beautiful Pamela Ashton, wealthy heiress, considered a good catch. Well, she would make a good catch herself. Jonathan Deveril would be just a childish flight of fancy and a distant memory by the time she was finished.
Chapter Twenty-five
A message came back from the Earl of Ferncliffe almost immediately. He would be only too pleased to take Pamela and her Aunt Susan up to London, and make all the arrangements necessary for their comfort on the journey. He would also be delighted to escort them around London. They would ride post up to Town, and be there inside three days barring any bad weather or difficulties along the way.
There remained then only to finish packing, and to say goodbye to everyone before leaving. In that too the Earl had been helpful, for he had stipulated dawn. Pamela and her aunt did not get a wink of sleep, but her aunt only remarked, "I daresay we can sleep in the coach. To London, with the Earl no less. I'm not sure how you managed it, or what you're up to exactly. So long as any child of yours is not born within seven months of the marriage, no one will talk."
"Aunt, really!" she hissed, looking up from her small writing desk reproachfully.
The older woman gave a knowing smirk that revolted Pamela. "I don't care what the thing is, only what it looks like. So mind your manners a little longer, and you shall have all you ever dreamt of, and more."
Pamela did not wish to argue with her aunt. But to think her guardian had turned out to be so unworldly, and so ungodly too. It seemed every person in the world was a hypocrite except the mans she loved, and his noble friends.
She clamped her mouth shut rather than argue with her aunt, and finished dashing off a note of farewell to Elizabeth. She had already written to the Duke and Duchess, Vanessa, and Sarah. Each simply thanked them for their kindness, and said she hoped to see them in London or back at Brimley.
Once the coach was loaded, and the women finally settled, Pamela nearly allowed herself to give way to hysterical tears. But that would never do. She had to put on a brave face in front of her aunt, in front of everyone in London, even though inside her heart was breaking.
Some hours later, Jonathan was beside himself when he discovered Pamela gone. He was even more furious when he found out who she had left with.
"Well, go after them, then!" the Duke urged.
He shook his head mournfully. "No, I can't. I must keep my word. It's all that's left to me, small consolation though it is."
"I release you! Really, Jonathan, this is too bad. If there were a hope of Jane-"
"No, don't say it! There's always hope!" Jonathan growled.
"But Jonathan, I know you! I love you like a brother. I know that as much as you ever loved my sister, you love Pamela Ashton far more! Yes, LOVE her. My guess is that your feelings for Jane are the product of a boyhood devotion. A habit. A fairy-tale fantasy of your youth.
"I was there too, my friend, when we were growing up. I watched it all. I remember how it was, Jonathan. You were always her hero. She was your darling little princess from the time she was born. What man wouldn't adore a girl who made him feel like a prince?
"But gradually you both grew up. You grew in separate directions. She stayed sheltered at Eltham Castle. You went out into the world and experienced all life had to offer. And you clung to the childhood ideal of a pure little angel as you realized just how cold and cruel the world could be.
"But answer one question honestly, old friend. Could you really have been happy with Jane for the rest of both your lives? Not just content, but happy? Passionately, blissfully happy?"
Jonathan shook his head. "I don't know. Fate has a part to play in everyone's lives, Providence too. But I damned well would have tried my best. For both our sakes."
"And possibly made both of you miserable in the process," Thomas argued. "Loving and being in love with someone are two entirely different things. I think you know that now, after meeting Pamela. I love my sister Jane. She was the best of women, but she had her failings like everyone else. So does Miss Ashton. But Pamela is your soul mate, I'm sure of it. She has spirit, brains when she uses them, and it's clear she loves you.
"There is no sin in loving honorably. What you feel for her is the real thing, love body and soul, raw passion in your gut and loins. I've seen the way you look at her! It's the way I'm sure I look at my wife. Are you just going to let that remarkable young woman fall into the hands of Ferncliffe, knowing him as we do? And with our suspicions as to how he came to inherit?" Thomas argued passionately.