She turned to her aunt. "May I go with the Deverils to Stone Court?"
"I don't suppose there is any harm," she said after a short time, "except that the weather seems to be most vile today."
"I'm dressed warmly, and Millcote is not that far."
"I do share your concern. We shall say that if Miss Ashton is not back by eight for supper, then we will have prevailed upon the Stones because the weather has turned worse," Sarah said.
"Very well. I shall not expect you, for I fear that it will rain and sleet again." Her aunt peered up at the menacing sky. "Do have a good time, and don't wear yourself too much with all this planning for the school. Goodbye."
Jonathan helped Aunt Susan into the Ashtons' carriage, while Pamela and Sarah chatted about the sermon in the vestibule, and put away the prayer books more neatly.
"He was very good. Calm and logical, yet still passionate."
"His years in the war affected him more than anyone could possibly ever know," Sarah said. "He came back to a changed world, one he scarcely recognized. Or wished to. He gaped into the pit of Hell, and it changed him irrevocably. And alas, he's never stopped looking into it since."
"Was he injured badly? Or does he suffer from nightmares?" Pamela guessed, awed and humbled at the thought of what he must have endured.
She was ashamed of herself for ever having thought of only the handsome, dashing uniforms, She had ignored the reality underneath. The killing, maiming. Lives cut short in their prime. The suffering in the army, cold, starvation, lack of comfort. She couldn't quite grasp it. It was so different from her own comfortable little world.
Sarah began to tidy another row of books. "Not injured physically, but in his mind. His heart and soul are more grieved than anyone can suspect, for all his urbane manner. Please do keep that in mind if you ever feel he's being unduly harsh with you."
"With me?" Pamela asked in surprise. "Why no. Jonathan, er, Mr. Deveril, has tried to improve and educate me, for which I'm very grateful. I own I was angry a few weeks ago, but I'm always willing to admit when I have acted wrongly." She smoothed one book to right the spine, and took a deep breath.
"I would like to take the opportunity to say now that I'm greatly indebted to you both for warning me about the error of my ways. I find myself far less inclined to be dazzled by worldly concerns now. I apologize for being so churlish a few weeks ago. You were right. It's not good for me to associate with companions who lack principle and seek nothing but pleasure at the expense of others. Gambling and, well, wenching, for example." She blushed. "There is nothing fashionable in ruining people."
Sarah patted her on her arm. "I'm glad. Thank you for mending our quarrel by coming to visit. There are few women in this district whom I feel I could call a true friend without reservation. I would like to think we can be, given time."
Pamela smiled. "I'd like that very much. And look forward to getting to know the other ladies in your set much better."
Sarah moved over to the other side of the row of books to right the ones which had been scattered willy-nilly. "You'll like Vanessa, I promise. You can't fail to be impressed with Charlotte Eltham, and Thomas's sister Elizabeth. Charlotte is not so very different from you in the way she was raised. But life's experiences have rendered her into tempered steel, fit for any challenge. I shall look forward to seeing you like that one day."
Pamela laughed self-consciously. "Right now I even have my doubts about taking on reading lessons, let alone the ills of the world."
"Poverty and illiteracy are two of them, so you already are."
Jonathan had come up in time to hear their last exchange. "Indeed, yes, Miss Ashton. You've set yourself the challenge, and so simply must prevail. Onward, Christian soldiers. The church hall awaits."
He offered an arm to each of them, and together they strolled to the long, low thatched building. Pamela felt as though she were walking on air as he praised her and made her feel as if she were the most interesting and noble woman he had ever met.
"I'm so pleased and proud," he said, smiling down at her so warmly her heart lurched. "Anything else you want, please don't be shy."
Pamela looked over the books, chalks and slates which he had provided, and the tables and chairs which had been set up at the front of the hall, screened off from the rest of it. He had also gathered several chests full of toys and children's clothes in a variety of sizes. The chests were arranged in a semi-circle to keep them from running wild throughout the hall.