"Your stepfather murdered your mother!" she cried, the horror of it washing over her in waves.
"Yes," he answered, his voice toneless. "But there is more."
The burning behind her eyes was nearly unbearable, but she forced herself to look steadily back into his face. Her heart ached for the young Dominic and for Jules, but she had to know. "Please, you must tell me everything."
Jules nodded slowly, his face set. "So be it. When Dominic finally realized that he could do nothing to save Leticia and had summoned help for me, he ran after his father. Charles had simply walked away from the destruction of all our lives."
Juliana covered Jules's fingers with her own trembling hand. "I'm so sorry."
He didn't seem to have heard her, for he stared blindly into space, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. "Dearborne tried to break open Charles's study door but failed. So in desperation, Dominic climbed the creeper onto the second-story balcony and was forcing open the French doors when another shot rang out."
Gasping, she stepped back from him. "His father killed himself!"
"Yes. By the time Dearborne had broken through the door, I had reached the chamber with the help of two footmen."
"But how? You were so gravely wounded!"
He brushed aside her concern, his face a stern mask. "I had to go after Dominic. He had not understood what had happened. God knows I was barely conscious, but I had to be there. And I was … Charles died in Dominic's arms cursing the black widow … our mother. Soiled goods he called her, dirtying everyone and everything around her. And then he cursed me. And Dominic. His dying words were accusions of the foulest … "
"Cursed you! But why?" Juliana demanded. "Why, Jules?"
Now it was Jules who stepped back, turning to face away from her.
"There is something between Dominic and I that must be settled before that particular secret can be placed in your keeping, Juliana." He turned to confront her again and raised his thin hand to wipe the tears from her cheek.
"Try to understand. We all changed after that night. Dominic most of all. He became bitter, selfish … even cruel at times. He has used women, Juliana … much as our mother used her lovers." He smiled gently, shaking his head in wonder. "Until now. Until you. I've watched him with you. Dominic has fallen in love at last. And he cannot deal with it. You see why you need to know this, so you can understand why he is hurting you."
"Cannot or will not deal with it?" she asked bitterly, drawing herself up with all the pride she could muster. Dominic had been badly scarred, and she cried inwardly for that sad, lonely young boy, but he was a man now and must carve his own destiny. Hadn't she discovered that for herself?
"There is nothing stopping him from loving me except the ghosts from his past. I have put aside my own past to love Dominic. He knows that and has rejected my love."
"You can help me rid Dominic of those ghosts. Help him become whole again. I owe him that. But I can not reach him alone. I need you."
Blinking back her tears, Juliana shook her head, the ache in her chest making it hard to breath. "He knows I love him. I can do nothing more. I, of all people, know that only he can put the past behind him. I don't have the key, Jules. Only you and Dominic can bury your ghosts."
Dominic paced around his room in the east tower. He hated it here. Nothing had been changed in all these years; the furniture was exactly the same as in Jules's room, although Leticia had decorated Dominic's rooms in blue and silver and Jules's in crimson and cream. Everything in this room reminded him of her. He had avoided the Towers because of the memories he could not put behind him. Now he was here and it was worse than he ever anticipated.
Everything had ended here at the Towers. He had been betrayed not only by those who should have loved him, but by himself. He knew that now. Instead of running off to war and earning his gallant reputation-only because he behaved with a recklessness that showed he didn't give a damn what happened to himself-and instead of indulging in every excess that had sunk him to the depths of depravity, he should have remained here, at the Towers, and exorcised his ghosts.
Juliana had meant sanity to him. Yet this afternoon he had betrayed her. He had dragged her down into his private hell. It wasn't fair that he wanted her so much, that he loved her-and couldn't have her. He'd done the unforgiveable, but at least no one would ever know. She could go on with her life. And never again would he be alone with her-to have to face that temptation.
He really was a despicable bastard. Like Jules, his code of honor was lost. Irretrievable.
A knock sounded, and before he could deny admittance, Jules had opened the door and entered.
"Mon frère, I am finished with games. We will talk. Now."
His thoughts were so filled with Juliana, he could not muster fresh anger against his brother. "We have nothing to talk about, Jules. Go back to wherever you came from!" Dominic stopped in front of the leaded window. The sunlight streamed in, haloing his blond head, throwing his face into shadow.
"Enough time has passed and enough has happened for you to listen to me now," Jules insisted. "You must hear the truth of that night or you … "
"There is nothing to say! And why would I believe you? I trusted you, my dashing big brother! The only one of them who cared a fig for me, I thought. But you … you were just like them. You lied to me for years! I saw the truth that night, and no explanation you can give will change what I saw … or what followed."
"Dominic, you are not an impressionable young man any longer." Jules approached the window. "I tried to comfort you then. I tried to tell you the truth, but you refused to listen."
"And I still refuse." Dominic turned away, reluctant to get too close to Jules. His hands balled into fists, the old pain and anger returned. "I don't want to go over this again … I want to forget it, and this place, and you."
"If you had been able to forget it, I would not be here. It can never be forgotten. We both know that. But it can be put behind us. If you will but listen to me."
Dominic stared into his brother's face for a long moment and then, quite deliberately, turned away.
"You have to listen! If you don't, there will be no hope for your future, no hope for you and Juliana … "
"Don't you dare to speak her name!" Dominic turned back to his brother, anger finally rasping his voice. "You, of all people, know that she is far above both of us."
Jules reached forward, and for the first time since that night, touched Dominic. "Let me help you to understand, then you will see there is nothing to stand between you and Juliana."
Dominic flinched. "You are the one who doesn't understand. After that night … too much has happened for a woman like Juliana to want me."
"Tell that to her." Jules laughed in derision. "Can't you see that it is only your stubborn pride that keeps you from happiness? Juliana could be the saving of you."
"But at what price to herself?" Suddenly all his anger drained away and he was filled with emptiness. "Juliana has had the love of the most decent man I have ever known. How could I insult her by offering her myself?"
Dominic crossed to the doorway and ushered Jules out. "Leave me to find what little peace I can. We have said all there is to say to one another long ago."
Jules turned to him for the last time, his face hard, his mouth curled in a sneer. "You are being a fool! When you finally come to your senses, you know where I am."
Dominic stood, staring blindly at the door he had just closed against his brother. He could never go to Jules's room in the west tower … the scene of all his nightmares.
Chapter 12
Rodney and Sophia's happiness was contagious. For their sakes, Juliana tried to enter into the spirit of the house party. Her efforts were noted by all; unfortunately even Lady Grenville was heard to remark that Juliana didn't "seem quite herself."
George and Charlotte did their part by insisting she tour the succession houses with them for one whole day. The duke kept her occupied at the whist table the next afternoon when two of his cronies came to visit.