I should have known that this was coming. I should have fucking knew better than to think I would be safe anywhere. I should have run and never looked back. I finally let my guard down for once in my miserable life, and I fucked up.
Before I can bolt, a hand covers my mouth from behind and fingernails dig into my cheek. I'm pulled in to a hard chest by another hand holding a knife. The air leaves my lungs and I drop the plate in my hands to grab at his arms. My heart pounds in my ears as panic starts to take over.
"I got ya now, bitch," Ryan growls in my ear. I smelled the alcohol on his breath before he uttered a word. I knew it was him. This is it. It all ends here.
I fight. I struggle. I try everything I can think of to get away, but with one massive punch to my side, Ryan knocks the air right out of me. The punch is so painful that my vision starts to blur. It's been a long time since my body has had to endure this type of abuse, and I obviously wasn't ready for it. The blow knocks the fight right out of me.
"Stop fuckin' fightin' me, you stupid fucking bitch!"
Tears begin spilling from my eyes. I wasn't ready to lose this life I had, but it's all being taken away from me now. I'll never see Rampage again. I'll never see my friends. I'm about to lose it all.
The cold metal of a blade rests against my neck in his silent threat, and I know how serious he is. Ryan starts to move us toward the door.
"Why, Ryan?" After so many years, why can't he just let me be? Hasn't he taken enough from me?
"It was always about what you took from me so I used you for the money I lost, but now, it's not just for money, it's for revenge. Your little punk ass boyfriend thought he could get rid of me? I've been watching, waiting for him to show his weakness, and you know what I found out? His weakness is you. I'm taking what he wants more than anything in this world because I want that fucker to suffer. So, you're gonna come with me willingly." He shoves the blade deeper into my skin to get his point across. All I can do is pray to God that he lets me go, or he just fucking kills me.
"You're gonna come with me unless you want you're pretty little brunette friend and her sweet little boy to bleed to death." Oh God, what? Oh my fucking God. He can't be talking about Lil and Ty, can he?
Shaking my head frantically, I try to get his hand off my mouth to tell him I'll do whatever he wants.
"Yeah, thought that'd get your attention."
"How."
"His room is all cutesy. That little Harley blanket he sleeps with looks comfortable."
Fuck. He's not lying. Fuck. Choking out a sob, I give him a firm nod. I'll do what he wants. "Good girl."
The rumble of bikes catches him off guard. His body goes ridged and I know he's starting to panic. Letting me go with a hard shove, he points the blade at me. His eyes are wild.
"You meet me in Heaven's parking lot by six. If you don't, I swear to you that that sweet little boy will be strung up like a pig and gutted while his pretty mommy watches. You fuckin' hear me, cunt! SIX!" He screams, disappearing through the back door.
My body is wracked with panic as I kneel down on the floor to pick up the pieces of the glass from the plate. I never heard what happened to him, just assuming that Rampage took care of it that night. So, so stupid.
Heavy boots thud through the house to the kitchen. I try hard as fuck to hold it in and suck it up so he doesn't know what's happening.
"What the fuck, baby?" Big hands wrap around my arms, hauling me to my feet.
"Lala, what the fuck? Are you okay?" Before he can look at my face, I step into him and bury my face into his chest.
"I'm sorry. My hands were soapy and I dropped the plate." I mumble, keeping my face firmly against him. For a moment he doesn't say anything, and I start to worry that he won't believe me, but after a second, he nods.
///
"Okay, baby. You sure?" I nod again. I hold him as tight as I can. This will be the last time I ever see him, feel him, smell him. I want to remember every second of my time with him.
"Imma hit the road." Kissing my forehead, he tries to give me one last look.
"Be safe," I whisper as I pull away and turn to the sink, trying to hide the tears that just won't stop spilling from my eyes. I wait a few moments and hear the front door open and close. He's gone, and I'm left feeling such absolute hopelessness. Six o'clock. I knew all this was too good to be true, especially for someone like me. I don't even care that Rampage doesn't love me. At this point, I'm just so glad we had what we had, no matter what anyone would call it. It may have been nothing to him, but it sure as fuck was everything to me.
I run to the front window, watching as Rampage rides off without looking back.
Six o'clock.
18
Forever
Rampage
"How much longer is this shit gonna take?" Gin asks as he takes a drag from his smoke, kicking up a cloud of dust from the ground. We're both leaning against a concrete barrier on the side of a dark and dusty highway, just outside of Idaho. It's been a long ride.
Tank is on his phone, pacing back and forth, "A minute," he mumbles around his phone.
We've been riding all goddamn day. It gave me too much time to think about how I left Lala. She was trying to hide it, but I saw her red, swollen eyes. I knew she had been crying, but I didn't have the time to get into any emotional shit with her, so I just left her to deal with whatever it was by herself. I'm feeling like the biggest fucking asshole right now.
I'm pulling out a smoke when Tank's angry bark catches my attention.
"Slow the fuck down, baby. What do you mean she's fuckin' gone?" Tank's eyes cut to mine instantly.
Pulling the phone away from his ear, he shoves it at me and says, "try not to flip your shit ‘n listen to her."
"Sis?" I can hear Peaches and Tags in the background, both sounding frantic. I swallow back the rage I'm starting to feel at the goddamn chaos on the phone.
"Rampage? Where would she go?" Sis breathes into the phone.
My worst fucking fear starts unfolding in front of me over a fucking phone on the side of a goddamn highway, hours from home. What does she mean where would she go?
"You better not be talking about Lala. She's supposed to be with you." Panic. That's the only word for what I'm feeling. Sheer fucking panic.
"No! I don't – I don't know, Rampage. I don't know where she is. I've called her, we've hit up anywhere she would possibly go. Her car, clothes, purse, money, everything, Rampage. It's all here." She rattles through the phone.
Shoving the phone back at Tank, I practically rip my saddlebag off my bike to get to my phone. Ringing Lala, I wait and pray for a fucking answer. I pray and try not to fucking lose it here on the side of this dark fucking highway in the desert.
"She left it here." Lil says as she answers Lala's phone.
She's gone.
****
It's all here. Everything. Every stitch of clothing she owns is in this closet, in the dressers. Her blankets are on our messy bed and the bed, even her towel from her shower is still damp on the bar in the bathroom. Shoes by the back door, coat on the kitchen chair, and her fucking purse is still on the counter. Nothing is gone … Only Lala.
"Where would she go?" Lil asks me, frantically pacing the driveway.
"Where the fuck do you think she went, Lil? She didn't leave, she was taken." Her eyes widen and she practically throws herself on Tank.
"Oh my God, this is all my fault. I should have come here earlier … " Tank looks over her head at me. He fucking knows. They all fucking know.
Pacing up and down the driveway, I feel crippled. I feel out of control and desperate. I can't call her, I can't track her. There is no note, nothing to lead us in any fucking direction. My world is shattering and there isn't one goddamn thing I can do. Nothing!
Tags is in the house digging around, tearing shit apart. He's running information from her phone and her computer, tracking everything from the last few weeks. He spent years in the Special Forces doing this shit. If there is anything to find, he'll find it, but in my heart, I know there isn't shit to find. This was not something she planned.
"Nothing, brother," he says from the front porch.
I lose my shit like always. I black out. I let my pure fucking rage take over. I kick the fuck out of my bike. I want to kill Tags for having nothing to fucking tell me. I want to find Ryan, tear him apart, limb from limb and watch him burn alive. I shouldn't have trusted the other MC to deal with him. I want someone to blame for this shit. I hate feeling like this. I fucking hate that I care. I hate that I let shit slip through my fingers. I let my rage go until I have nothing left.