She doesn't get much sleep? Why the fuck not?
"So, thank you for taking me in and letting me sleep in here. I'm starting to rack up quite a debt with you."
I watch her eyes drop and her face change, but she says it again, very softly, "Thank you for everything, Rampage." She sure the fuck knows how to undo me with just a few words.
Lala
I wake up with Rampage saying my name, looking down at me. All I can do is smile at his beautiful face, and I get a smile from him in return. He should definitely smile more often. Once he brought me to his room last night, all I could see was his warm, comfortable bed, and a welcome feeling of safety. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but my body just completely shut down on me and I couldn't hold myself up any longer. I never took Rampage for a guy who would have such a big, comfy bed with lots of blankets and pillows.
It had been such a long week between school, work and Ryan. He won't leave and I won't sleep when he's there. I have even driven out to busy parking lots, hoping to just get lost in the sea of vehicles and get a little bit of sleep when I could. I had nothing and no one, so I've learned to just deal with it and take things as they come.
///
Ryan had decided my place was as good as any to crash at. For the first day or two, it was okay. He didn't bother me much and I stayed out of his way, but I knew he was biding his time, waiting for me to do or say the wrong thing, and without any help from me, it happened last night. He's extremely aggressive when he he's high and drunk.
He was so wasted, he could barely talk, let alone walk. He walked in demanding things from me that I wasn't willing to give him. I stood my ground until he flung me down on the couch and started ripping at my clothes. He's taken a lot from me over the years, but he will never take my body again.
I punch him hard in the face, but of course, he pulls back and hits me twice as hard in the jaw. Thank God he was so fucked up because I was able to get away from him and into my car before he could catch me. While I was jumbling with the keys I grabbed from the table at the front door, he had time to grab a rock and smash it through the window, effectively hitting me in the face before I was able to drive away. I'd gladly take hits to the face before I ever let that piece of shit fuck me again.
I drove around for a while. Once the adrenaline finally started to wear off, I knew I couldn't keep driving, but I had nowhere to go. I have no family, no friends. Lil is my only friend, and she is out of town. My home was out of the question and I didn't want to waste money for even a cheap motel. I was out of options. That big compound of cinderblock, steal, chain link fences and rough men was the only place I could think of. If I was careful, maybe I could park close and just try to get some rest. The thought of being close to those walls felt safer than anywhere else I could possibly think of. They were nice to me once before, so I prayed if they found me outside their compound, they wouldn't hurt me. They may not be the safest bet, but I was living on a prayer when I pulled up, parked my car and got comfortable with a small blanket and a ball bat that I had stowed away in the back.
I took a chance. I don't know what could happen to me here, but I'm more afraid of dying at the hands of Ryan. As twisted as it may be, I would rather die at the hands of a stranger than give Ryan the satisfaction of taking one more thing from me. I'm tired of fighting and being backed into a corner, but I have officially run out of options. I'm also hoping this isn't an even bigger mistake.
****
"You hungry?" Rampage asks from the side of the bed. He watches me like I'm a caged animal, ready to lose my shit at any moment. His unease makes me a little uneasy, but not uneasy enough to get up and leave.
I am hungry. Shit's been so crazy that I forgot to eat. "I could eat," I tell him tentatively. My answer rewards me with a nice lazy grin, a grin I really like seeing.
"Get some shit on and we'll go."
"I don't have clothes with me," I say with a shrug.
Rampage stands up from the bed and nods, "Know that. Talked to Sis this mornin' and she's got shit in her room." He talked to Lil? I would feel strange borrowing her stuff without asking her myself.
"No, that's alright. I'm not as hungry as I thought."
Rampage gives me a hard, unforgiving stare. Crossing his arms he looks annoyed, "Use her shit. Don't make me tell Sis you said no. No one needs that girl pissy." Walking to the door, he throws it open, "Come on."
I follow without a word, because frankly, Rampage intimidates me and I don't want to piss him off. We walk down a long hall dotted with doors. All closed, all with these little silver numbers on them. I wonder what they mean, but I'm not stupid enough to ask.
The door we come to is at the end. It reads, one in shiny silver. Pulling keys out of his pocket, he unlocks the door and pushes it open for me, "It's all in the closet. She said her girly shit is in the bathroom, too." Nodding toward the closet, he adds, "Get some shit, babe."
The small closet is dominated with women's clothes, along with tiny boy outfits. Only a few items of men's clothing hang on the bar. Sorting through Lil's stuff, I feel Rampage's intense gaze on me, watching every movement, so I hurry it up.
I pick a soft light blue V-neck t-shirt and a pair of white shorts. My blue chucks will match just fine. Piling the clothes in my arms, I hit the bathroom next. Taking what I need, I follow Rampage back to his room. Once inside, he points to the door in the corner and grunts, "bathrooms in there. Use whatever ya want. Get ready ‘n come find me when you're done."
I shower and get ready quickly. I use his soap, but sadly, there's no shampoo. I throw on my clothes, sans panties next. Borrowing panties is never okay, so I'm rocking commando.
///
Looking in the mirror, I see the nice new addition to my face. A lovely three-inch cut, right under my eye stares back at me. It's a beauty, but it's not one of his finer jobs. Regardless, it's still nasty, but I have sunglasses big enough to hide it pretty well.
Toothbrush. Shit, I need a toothbrush. Opening and closing drawers and cupboards, I don't find any spares. Rampage's sits in the holder, staring me down. I think about it and decide fuck it, and I brush my teeth with his toothbrush. I don't feel bad or wrong about it. I braid my hair to the side in a messy braid and slip on my chucks … and I'm ready.
I make my way down the long hall, hearing voices and music filtering through from the living space. Walking into the large open room, all conversations stop and all eyes land on me. I feel like squirming under their stares, but I keep it in check.
I scan the room and find Rampage standing by the bar across the room. The redhead leans against him, talking closely, but his eyes are on me. Stepping away from the woman, he walks toward me, not giving her a second look. She glares at me, but I just ignore her, too. She's the woman from the first night I met Rampage. Red, I think is what they called her.
Throwing an arm around my shoulders once he reaches me, he looks down at me with a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his lips. For a minute he stares and I feel awkward. The need to say something, anything, nags at me, "I used your toothbrush." Why did I just say that?
Cracking a small lazy grin, he says, "Good to know." I'm such a dumbass, but at least it earned me a smile.
He walks us toward the front door while everyone just stares. Most seem shocked, and some seem a little confused. I keep my head down and my eyes on the ground, hoping to draw as little attention to myself as possible.
He keeps his arm around my shoulders till we get to his motorcycle, where I see the Chevy parked next to a row of bikes with the window fixed. He fixed it? When?
Walking over, I peek inside and the car is cleaned of any glass. It's like it was never broken.
"You fixed it?" I squeak out, trying to choke back tears as I run my hand over the new window. I know he heard it in my voice, but I don't want him to see all the emotions I have going through me right now. No one ever does shit for me, but here's Rampage, turning into my saving grace.
"Yep," he says.
"Thank you, Rampage." Nodding, he goes about messing with his motorcycle. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough.
"Really, thank you. I don't know how to repay you for what you've done for me."
Looking over his shoulder he nods again, "Don't worry ‘bout it, babe."