She looks surprised and disappointed, ready to say something when I give her a look that stops her in her tracks. She looks pissed off, but does as I tell her. She pulls out my dick and begins stroking it to get me hard. When that doesn’t do the job, she starts licking around the piercing in the tip, then sucking it into her mouth, and she sucks. I’m too big for her to take all the way, but I don’t give a fuck. I grab the back of her head and shove my dick to the back of her throat, making her take what she can and then some, but it’s still not deep enough. I’m sitting on the corner of the bed with her between my legs, fucking her mouth while I stare at the wall. The more I force my dick down her throat, the more out of control I feel. I wanna nut and get this over with, but I need the release, and I need it bad. I’m not nice. I pump in and out hard and fast, not feeling bad about being so forceful, but I know this is the kind of shit this bitch likes. She’s had a lot of practice and she’s rubbing herself the whole time, getting off on it.
It all happened so fast. One second I’m coming down Red’s throat, feeling that empty satisfaction of shooting out my load when I hear voices getting louder as they come through the hall. Before I can get up to tuck my shit back in my pants, my door is thrown wide open. Not one thing about what either one of us are seeing right now is right. It’s so beyond fucked up.
I shove Red backwards, pulling my pants up and shoving my dick in as I make my way to Lala. Red’s in the background running her goddamn mouth, but I don’t give a fuck.
Lala starts to leave, but not before I grab her arm and pull her to me, “I’m sorry, Rampage,” she says. I have been dying to hear that voice for weeks now and here it is, but it’s not the one I want to hear. Her voice is broken and scared.
I hold her face up toward me and she doesn’t look good. I know I didn’t leave her looking like this. There’s no makeup, no long smooth hair. She’s wearing a white, zip up sweatshirt with the hood up and blood down the front. Her hair is matted to her cheeks and hanging down the sides in a wild mess. She’s wearing a pair of my black baggy sweats that she must have taken when she left. What the fuck did I leave her to? Why didn’t I just take her instead of leaving her with that fuckstick? I couldn’t look past my own ego to see she was in trouble. She obviously didn’t make the choice to stay and have this done to her if she didn’t feel she had to.
I’m thinking all these things while I stare at her, not saying anything. One of her eyes is black and blue, damn near swollen shut. It’s only been a few hours since I saw her, so it shouldn’t be this fucking bad… not yet. Her lip is split in two places, both deep and bleeding pretty bad. The blood is slowly gliding down her chin, down her neck and into her sweatshirt. The skin around her neck and shoulders are red, purple, black and blue. She was obviously being choked by more than someone’s goddamn hands.
FUCK!
“Get out!” I growl at Red. I’m gonna lose my shit and I know it. It’s slipping away and I can’t grab it fast enough. I can feel my shit going real quick and it’ll be Red who catches it if she doesn’t get the fuck out. My eyes stay on Lala, but she is trying to look away from me. She flinches and takes a step back when I yell. Goddammit. “Red. I said get the fuck out,” She stands there, hands on her hips, but-ass naked. Bitch isn’t going without a fight.
“What?”
“Out!” I can’t stand that Lala went through this kind of shit tonight, only to come to me and see me getting my dick sucked. I fucked this shit up so bad. I’ve made her night even worse.
“I’m sorry, Rampage. I don’t know where to go… I need you.” Lala whispers softly, looking me straight in the eyes as tears pour out of hers. I feel that shit to the depths of my dead, black heart. The need in her words eats at me. She needed me and I left her. I let that shit slip. I should have stayed. I should have made her come with me. Fuck, I should have beat that motherfucker to death and forced her if I had to, but I didn’t. I hate myself. I was pissed at her and getting my rocks off ‘cause I was pissed at her, while she was getting the living shit beat out of her. “Yeah baby, I’m here.”
Lala walks around Red and me. Red is still naked and looking stupid standing there. I can’t blame her for this shit since I’m the one who dragged her in here so I could get off, but I should only have to tell her to leave once.
I watch Lala walk right to my dresser and pull out a shirt. She doesn’t even give a second thought before unzipping her sweatshirt. She’s not wearing a goddamn thing under it. She tosses it on the floor with all my dirty clothes and I have to look away. There are bruises everywhere, all over her body. So fucking bad.
“I get you fucked her, but who the fuck does this bitch think she is? She doesn’t belong here, and she sure as shit doesn’t belong in her with you now. She left and I’m still here. I don’t share, Rampage.” Red yells at me. Really? Who the fuck does she think she is? She’s club gash, everyone gets a piece of her shit. She’s got me fucked up.
“Do not make me remove you from my room, bitch. I said get the fuck out.”
“Fuck this stupid cunt. She’s nasty. Look at her bruises and shit. She a fuckin’ junky or some shit? What the fuck is she even doing here?”
I completely lose it… Again. Before I know what I’m doing, I’ve got Red pinned up against the wall by her neck, “You ever talk about her like that again, I. WILL. KILL. YOU. I’ll put a bullet right between your motherfucking eyes, kill ya.” I shove her ass out the door while she’s crying and screaming at me.
Everyone is standing in the hall staring at me. I find the eyes of the only person in this place, besides Lala, that I care about and what they think of me, and she’s staring daggers at me. Sis hates me. I fucking hate me. Slamming the door, I turn around to Lala. She said she needs me, so I’m here to take care of her.
She’s under the blankets and wrapped up in the sheets. I feel fucking sick about what was goin’ on in this room before she walked in, but it’s the only place I want her. This shit is so wrong. She doesn’t care and I think that’s the worst part of it all. She’s so broken she doesn’t give a fuck that she’s in a bedroom that I was just getting my dick sucked in. Seeing her looking so out of touch with what’s happened scares me for her and myself. Seeing her like this breaks something in me, and I don’t think I’ll ever be whole again.
Lala
“Not gonna do this shit any more, Lala,” Rampage says softly into my hair as his rough hand runs lightly and carefully up and down my bruised ribs. Sadly, they don’t hurt like they should. It feels like my body has grown accustomed to the pain. To his statement, I just shake my head no and cuddle closer to him, trying to put it out of my head. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. I will, but not right at this moment. I just want to lay here for a while. Enjoy this for a moment longer before it all comes crashing down around me again.
Seeing Rampage with Red hurt like a motherfucker, but I wouldn’t tell him that. I’ve heard the stories of why clubs keep gash around, so I guess I never expected him to be faithful to me. We don’t have anything so I have no say in what he does, especially if I’m not around. I would be delusional to think he would be faithful, and I accepted that from the beginning, but it did hurt, especially having to see it with my own eyes. Regardless, I wanted to stay with him. Not for protection, but I wanted him so bad. Maybe I’m here because I really am fucked in the head. I don’t know what a relationship is, especially a normal one. It could be the toll life has taken on me, making me ignorant to a lot of shit.
Yeah, I’ve become that sick, sad women. I just want to be safely tucked away from all the bad shit out there in the world, and I would do anything for it right now. After getting the shit beat out of me this time, Ryan left me alone to hook up with one of the dancers, but I think it was a ruse the girls cooked up to get me out of there. They got me out the back and handed me over to a friend of theirs. When he asked where he could take me, I said here. He didn’t question me and did as I asked. I wish I would have asked his name, but I thanked him and the girls for helping me. No one’s ever put their necks out for me before, and I wish I could repay them.
I needed Rampage, and I needed this place. I have nothing, and I’m not being dramatic. I have nothing, but I’ll take this right here. I’d lie, cheat, and steal to get this, to feel this comfort. His bed is my safe place. I just wanted him and I would have taken him anyway I could have gotten him. I will take whatever he is willing to give me.
We lay together for hours, the low hum of the TV in the background and the lights off. I’ve replayed my words in my head over and over again, trying to find just the right thing to say to make this whole mess sound less pathetic. Nothing ever sounds right when you say it out loud, especially when you’ve never done it before.
“I met him when I was little,” Instantly his arms tighten around my waist when I start to talk. I hear him take a deep breath, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s giving me time. “He was nice at first, a friend, I guess. I moved around a lot, making it hard to make friends. Being from the wrong side of the tracks didn’t help me in the friend department either, so when I met him, he was nice to me and I instantly liked him. My mom and his Dad were together, off and on for years, but no matter where we moved, they were there… he was there. My mom was always drunk or high on drugs, and I had no family. I was looking for someone to share things with because I was tired of being alone. We were young, but our friendship turned into a relationship. Things were okay at first, but it all changed when something happened that made me and my mom run.