‘No. I don’t,’ Raffa said flatly. ‘I’ve told you things I haven’t told anyone before,’ Raffa admitted wryly as they walked outside into the brilliant sunshine. ‘Must be your honest face.’
‘I’ll respect your confidence.’ Her stomach churned at the thought of her less than honest relationship with Raffa.
‘I’m sure you will. And I apologise if I sounded short down there. I didn’t mean to.’
‘The past kicks back sometimes. Raffa, there’s—’
He broke off to speak to one of the technicians walking across the car park. They were all coming out for lunch now, and when he turned back to her the moment had gone.
‘I trust you, Leila Skavanga. I can’t say that about many people.’
This was getting worse by the moment. ‘I trust you too,’ she said on a dry throat, only wishing she could turn the clock back and blurt out the truth about their baby the moment she walked down the steps of the aircraft.
‘Let’s get back,’ he said. ‘I’m hungry, aren’t you?’
‘Starving.’
‘Then I have to get back to my building work. I hope you’ve learned enough this morning to keep you busy planning.’
‘Absolutely,’ she confirmed. Raffa telling her about his past had explained so much about him. He was obsessive about his work at the castle, the ruin he was rebuilding brick by brick, perhaps as an exercise in pushing the memories of his crumbling childhood behind him. This was not the time to raise the subject of a child, however much it would be loved, that was going to be born as the result of yet another reckless coupling.
‘We’ve got a fair moving into the grounds of the castle tomorrow,’ he revealed as they approached the Jeep. ‘I’ll be up early sorting that out—so have breakfast without me.’
‘Don’t worry about me,’ she said as he opened the door for her. ‘I can entertain myself. Is the fair part of your plan to open more of the castle to the public?’
‘That’s right,’ Raffa said as he swung into the driver’s seat beside her.
This was better than being at daggers drawn with him. She would find a way to tell Raffa about the baby, but it would be a way that wouldn’t pour more acid on the wounds he’d brought with him from his past. Perhaps friendship was the only way forward for them, she thought wistfully, flashing a glance across, but, as she’d always been wary of expecting too much out of life, wasn’t it better to settle for less and be contented?
* * *
She woke the next morning feeling warm inside. The baby made her feel this way. Nothing could dilute her joy, not even the guilt inside her. She could already picture the infant with Raffa’s curly black hair and his slanting smile. If it was a boy he would eat her out of house and home, and scare her rigid with his pranks. If it was a little girl...
It was to be hoped she had more sense than her mother.
Planning to have a family without factoring a man into the equation was all very well in theory, but she couldn’t see Raffa being the type to quietly stand by when she told him about the baby and then let her get on with it. She would tell him today. She couldn’t leave it a moment longer. Her heart had grown to encompass a new and very special kind of love and she wanted Raffa to know that joy too. There hadn’t been a good time to tell him, so she would make an opportunity. She was confident he would be thrilled—once he got over the shock.