Emma gasped. “You do?”
He stared at her intently. “Even though I hate to admit it, I really missed you while I was gone.”
“Are you sure you didn’t just miss the sex?”
He scowled at her. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “Then that’s very flattering.”
“Fuck, I didn’t think you’d make me work this hard for it.”
“Excuse me?”
“I thought…” He shook his head. “I thought you wanted us even more than I did.”
“I do,” she replied softly.
“You have a hell of a way of showing it.”
She glared at him. “Well, you’re not really playing fair. You’ve been kind and considerate, if not downright caring, the entire time we were trying to conceive, yet you constantly kept me at arm’s length. Every time I thought you might truly be interested in me, you’d shut down. And now you wait to spring the fact you might want more when I’m a hormone fueled emotional wreck.”
“What difference does that make?”
“Everything!” She pointed out the windshield to where a teenage bag boy was collecting carts. “I’m so whacked out on hormones right now that kid could ask me to marry him, and I would say yes.”
“That’s fucked up,” Aidan mused.
“Yeah, it’s called estrogen, and it’s working overtime right now. If you want to know what that feels like, it’s kind of like how the massive dose of testosterone pumping through you fuels the head below your waist, driving most of your decisions.”
Aidan threw his head back and laughed. “Are you trying to say I only think with my dick?”
“I don’t think I’d be pregnant right now if you didn’t,” Emma said softly.
His expression darkened. “Am I to assume that’s the estrogen talking or are you just trying to cut me?”
Emma ducked her head. “Yes and no. It’s just that everything is so emotionally overwhelming right now. Meeting Patrick today…” She bit down on her lip and then stared out the car window. “I know we were only together for such a short time, but it was almost like the moment I met him I felt a connection to something I haven’t had in a very, very long time—a father’s love. I’ve only felt that before with my grandfather, and he’s my own blood.”
Aidan’s chest tightened at Emma’s visible pain. He reached out and took her hand in his. “Em—”
She turned back to him with tears in her eyes. “You think you’re trying to protect yourself? Well, so am I. As much as I want to say yes to you Aidan, I have to protect myself and the baby.”
“The baby? Do you honestly think I’d do anything to hurt it?”
“Not intentionally. But I can’t let you get invested in our lives if you might bail when some woman in a short skirt and huge breasts turns your head.”
“That was fucking low,” he growled.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, but you know at some fundamental level it’s the truth. You’ve said yourself a million times that you don’t do long-term relationships.”
“Yeah, well, people can change you know.”
“You can’t imagine how much I want to believe that,” she whispered.
Aidan sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Look, that phone call I got from work was about how I have to fly to DC on Tuesday. I’ll be gone for a few days. Will you think about it while I’m gone?”
“I will if you will.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I want you to make sure you fully comprehend what you’re asking of me and yourself. And I want you to have a pretty clear picture of just what ‘more’ means to you.”
“Fine.” He gave her a pointed look. “I will if you will.”
The corners of her mouth quirked up in a smile. “It’s a deal.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The sound of a car in the driveway caused Beau to hop off the couch and start barking madly at the window. “What is it boy?” Emma asked, abandoning her book. Beau whined and raced to the front door. Rising from the couch, Emma started over to the window. Surely Aidan’s niece, Megan, hadn’t changed her mind about Emma baby-sitting and come back for her four month old son, Mason. She had struck up an almost instant friendship when Emma met her at Sunday lunch at Patrick’s. Even with Aidan out town, Patrick had insisted she and his future grandson come join them. It had been a little overwhelming being with all of Aidan’s sisters and their families, but overall, she had a wonderful time being part of his family.