“He’s my dead boyfriend’s brother,” I said for the millionth time in less than two days. Though, this time, it was telling her something she knew already.
She nodded. “I see why you wouldn’t wanna go there. I totally see that. But I saw that boy down there, and when I say that, I’m not only talkin’ about the fact that he looks good enough to eat. It’s that he was sweet but firm when he told me I had to look out for you. Not fall for any of your shit when you tried to convince me you could do somethin’ on your own that I didn’t think it smart that you be doin’. And that I needed to get that pill down you ’cause you’re prideful and stubborn and tryin’ to hide the pain.” She paused, didn’t release my eyes in the mirror, and finished, “He cares, Frankie. A lot.”
“That’s not the point,” I told her.
“What is the point?” she asked.
“The point is, it’s just not right,” I explained.
“That’s not the point ’cause that’s bull-hockey.”
I fiddled with my curl and blasted it with more heat because I didn’t want to be talking about this again.
When I was done, Asheeka got right back in there. “You’re holdin’ a grudge.”
I looked back at her in the mirror. “Uh…yeah.”
She shook her head. “Only God can judge him and his family for the way they treated you. Here, on earth, the right thing to do is forgive. Harder to forget and that’ll mess with you, honey. That’s your cross to bear and that’s the whole thing about forgiveness. They gave you that cross and it’s you who has to bear it at the same time findin’ a way to forgive. That’s the reason forgiveness is divine. ’Cause someone wrongs us, we live with that wrong right alongside them, but it’s us who has to find the strength to let them off the hook. If they work for it, ask for it, only you have the power to offer it to them so their soul can be less heavy. And the right thing to do is use that power.”
“I am. I’ve already decided that. That’s why I’m not taking you up on the offer to rally your brothers. I’m gonna let them heal the breach,” I shared before I ended it. “Then I’m gone.”
She stared at me in the mirror.
I went back to my hair.
My arms were tired, I had a nagging ache that prolonged standing and moving was beating through the medication, and I knew I should give up on my hair.
But I didn’t.
Asheeka said no more. Just when I got down to sliding my fingers coated with elixir through my hair and putting another coat of mascara on, she walked into the bedroom and came back with a fresh nightgown.
I pulled it on over my undies and saw it was really cute. The one I’d chosen last night was kind of a caftan—flowy and comfortable, but full coverage.
This one had a high-low hem, the front of which hit me several inches below the knees, the back dip went nearly to my ankles. The neckline plunged to an empire waist, with gathering at the bodice and waistline that drew attention to the cleavage. And last, it was a bright coral color that looked great with my hair.
You could see the turquoise lace of my bra at the neckline but…whatever. It wouldn’t be the first time I showed hints of a bra, including to Ben and Theresa.
“Cute nightie,” Asheeka observed, giving it a once-over.
“Gina. She has an eye for cute,” I told her.
“Sexy-cute,” she told me.
I looked into the mirror. The cleavage was sexy. The material was semi-shiny and clingy.
Jeez, it was sexy-cute. Who knew Gina had that in her?
“I’m thinkin’ you’re good for now and need to take a load off,” Asheeka said.
I turned to her and took the hint.
She needed to go.
“Sorry, babe, my mind’s all over the place. You gotta go.”
“Happy to stay as long as you want, but yeah. There are syringes to sell and we’re one girl down in sellin’ ’em.”
I grinned.
She shifted out of the way and swung an arm toward the door.
I took her invitation and headed that way. Once in the bedroom, I didn’t waste time taking a load off, stretching out on the bed, pillows tucked behind me, upper body resting back.
That was a lot better.
“You want me to come tonight, company and a buffer?” Asheeka asked and I looked up at her.
I would love that. It was sweet as all get-out and would help a lot.
But she was late for work for me and I’d need her to come around to Benny’s for at least a couple more days. I didn’t need to suck all her time and goodness. I was not a fan of owing markers, and with me moving away, I wouldn’t have many opportunities for her to call them.