We walked silently through the hotel to the front desk where I inquired if they had a fax machine I could use. We were led to a private office and left to our own devices. I pulled out my cell phone and called Parker. He answered with a hopeful voice.
"Hello? Preston?"
"It's me."
I heard him sigh in relief. "I've been waiting for your call. I thought I would hear from you yesterday and when I didn't I started to worry."
"Sorry to worry you. We've been trying to acclimate ourselves and also working on Derrek."
"How is Lena?" His tone was even more concerned when he spoke her name. His protective older brother persona extended to Lena and I was never more thankful for the way he cared about her. It made my next move so much easier.
"She's doing as well as can be expected." My eyes moved to her as I spoke and she gifted me with a small smile. It wasn't the gorgeous smile that reached her eyes, but it was the small troubled smile I'd grown accustomed to recently. She was worried, and a little bit sad as well. I opened my free arm to her and she came to me instantly, wrapping both her arms around my waist and pressing her cheek against my chest. "I'm going to fax you the divorce papers. I need you to get them processed immediately, and get the money transferred as soon as possible. We need to rush this."
"I'll do what I can. The money shouldn't be a problem, a day or two at the most. But it might be a few more for the divorce to be finalized."
"Just do what you can. And Parker?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
There was a long silence, but finally he responded with, "You know I'd do anything for you and Lena."
"Yeah."
"Tell her I say hello."
"I will."
"I'll let you know as soon as everything is finished."
"All right."
We hung up and I tore myself from Lena's arms to fax all the paperwork to Parker. When everything was sent I was left with a sense of anxiousness. We were back to waiting. Back to being in limbo, in flux, where anything could go wrong. I wanted desperately for this part of the plan to come together, to happen without a hitch, simply because Lena deserved that much. But it was also important that the next piece of the puzzle fall into place effortlessly as well. And now there was nothing to do but wait. I hated not being in control, not being the one making things happen. Feeling the control slip from my fingers made me jumpy.
I felt Lena's arms wrap around me from behind, felt her breasts push into my back, and it caused my whole body to relax. Just the presence of her body pressed against mine was enough to alleviate some of the anxiety, but I needed more. Needed more of her.
I placed my hand over hers, then trailed my fingers up her arm, watching as goose bumps spread over her skin. "I'm going to take you upstairs and the first thing I'm going to do is use my mouth on you until you beg for more." I felt her breasts push against my back with more force as she drew in a breath, not expecting my words to be so sexual. "You're going to be filled, sweetheart."
"That sounds like a challenge," she whispered, her mouth pressed right between my shoulder blades.
I gripped her arm and pulled her around my body, pressing her ass against the edge of the desk in front of me. I used my finger to bring her chin up, looking right into her surprised and wide eyes. "You think I can't make you beg? I'll eat you to the point of explosion, then ease away, making you crazy, making you beg me to fucking finish you."
Her hand came up to my face, her gentleness a stark contrast to the fire I felt nipping at me. "You can do whatever you want with me, Preston, and I'll give you anything you need." My eyes searched hers frantically, wondering how I'd managed to find and capture a woman who could read me so perfectly, understood exactly what I needed and handed it to me in ways I could never expect from anyone else. "You don't have to take anything from me, as I'll always give it to you freely," she said, running her hand from my cheek to the back of my neck. "But if you need it that way, if you need to be in control, I'll give it up to you. I'll let you take everything."
I dropped my forehead until it just touched hers, and breathed in her scent, eyes closed, hands roaming up and down her back.
"I just want to get lost in you," I whispered, all pretense of control just a haze above our heads.
She nodded, but after a few moments said quietly, "I'll allow you to get lost in me, so long as you promise to let me find myself in you."
I kissed her without thinking, kissed her for knowing exactly what I needed and giving it to me, and for being more than I could ever have imagined. I pulled away from her and took her hand, leading her to our hotel room, where I was lost and she was found.
Chapter Nine
"Well, babe. I'm a millionaire." Lena tossed her phone onto the bedside table and let out a loud and heavy sigh. It had been two days since Derrek signed the papers and, apparently, Parker had managed to get the funds transferred rather quickly. I sat on the edge of the bed, a towel wrapped around my waist, still wet from my shower, and she bent her legs until they curled around me. She was quiet-had been since our encounter with Derrek. She seemed thoughtful, pensive, and I tried to give her the mental space she needed to dig through her thoughts.
At night she gave her body to me, but during the day she was distant.
Her gorgeous dark eyes were focused on nothing, glazed over with the musings of her mind. I could almost see the wheels spinning, hear the gears turning. Eventually, her eyes found mine and she gave me a small smile.
"Are you all right?" I could have been more specific, could have asked her a million more detailed questions than that: do you regret taking the money from him? Are you upset that you're getting a divorce? Do you wish things had turned out differently? Is the money worth the upset?
But I didn't ask those questions because the possible answers scared me. I was willing to live my whole life not knowing the answers to those questions because if she gave me the wrong answers, the answers that meant she'd realized this was all a mistake, I couldn't find a way to live without her. No. I'd rather ask the easy questions.
She nodded and gave me a weak, "Yeah."
I brushed my hand over her forehead, pushing the dark hair off her face.
"It's okay if you're not. It's okay if you're upset." And it was. However she was feeling, it was okay. She deserved to feel every single emotion the whole situation evoked from her. I just hoped my heart could survive them.
Lena sat up a little, resting on one elbow. "I am upset. But I'm all right." She sighed again, but I didn't take my eyes off her. I wanted her to know she could talk to me, tell me anything.
"Do you want to talk about it? I'm gonna be really honest right now; your silence on the matter is freaking me out a little."
She sat all the way up, holding the bedsheet to her breasts, and leaned forward, pressing her lips to my shoulder. "I guess I'm just trying to figure out how I let my life get so out of my control." She propped her chin on my shoulder, her breath skating over the still-damp skin of my neck, working through more thoughts before speaking again. "I feel very conflicted," she finally stated, her eyes moving upward to catch mine. "Like, I wish I had never met Derrek; wish I'd never dated him, never married him, never spent all those years of my life, wasted, with him. But, if I hadn't given up so much to him, I never would have found you."
"That's a pretty big sacrifice." And I'm not sure I'm worthy of it.
She sighed and leaned away from me, dragging a hand through her long hair. "It wasn't a sacrifice. I guess, in reality, I didn't give anything up; it was taken from me."
"You know I want to give you everything, right?" I heard the words before I was even sure I'd been the one to say them. Of course they were true. They were the kind of truth that existed beyond everything else. I hadn't even formed the words; they just were. "Everything you think you might have lost, or given up, I want to be the one to give it back to you." I turned toward her, my body shifting to face her, my hands coming to rest on either side of her neck.
She nodded, as much as she could with my hands gently gripping her neck, but her eyes still found mine with a question in them. Her voice was a gravelly, quiet whisper when she said, "I guess I'm just not sure why."
"Because you've given everything to me." She shook her head, pulling away from my hands, looking down at her lap, still covered in a white sheet. "You're not broken, Lena. I'm not here to fix you. You don't need my help and you certainly don't need me to bring you back to life-as you demonstrated by taking off to Hawaii on your own. I'm not trying to swoop in and make everything easy for you. I want to walk through the hard times with you, I want to celebrate every exciting milestone together. I want to be with you, forever, and to share a life with you. But in doing so, I plan on making sure you get every single thing you were afraid you'd never have with him, because you deserve them." I pulled her chin up with a gentle finger and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You deserve to be a mom, to be a wife who's cherished. And I want to be the lucky husband who gets to spend his life making sure you're happy, safe, and fulfilled."